


Baby you can drive my car

by orphan_account



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Boys In Love, Fluff and Angst, I NEEDED THIS, M/M, Mention of Physical Abuse, Recreational Drug Use, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-12-24
Packaged: 2018-02-15 13:49:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 45,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2231418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mickey is going to spend a week with Mandy in the Hamptons, and decides to carpool. Except it's Ian, her best friend, who answers Mickey's carpooling offer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Travelling ain't cheap, you know

**Author's Note:**

> So guys, here’s a fic I’ve been thinking about for weeks now, and I just needed to get it out of my mind. So basically:
> 
> \- Ian and Mickey never met.  
> \- The whole Mandy/ Lip/ Karen drama happened  
> \- Ian and Mandy are friends  
> \- Mickey left the Southside for some reason but everything will be explained later, I promise.

 

Mandy was ecstatic: she managed to convince both her brother and her best friend to spend a week at her boyfriend’s house beach in the Hamptons.  
She had not seen Mickey for a whole year, and even if she would never admit it to him, she missed him like hell. After Lana had died in some weird conditions that Mickey had never really explained to her, he had to get the hell out the Milkovich household.

It happened four years ago and a lot of things had changed since then. Mandy was in a serious relationship with Jaime, a guy she met at the Waffle house she used to work at. Jaime was nice, pretty, smart… and fucking wealthy. The first time he walked into the diner, she didn’t really notice him, but he did notice her instantly.  
Mandy was, despite the dirty look and the obvious rudeness, beautiful. Big blue eyes, just like her mother and Mickey, dark hair and long, skinny legs. From that day, Jaime came every day to see the girl, staring at her whenever he had the chance. She wondered how many vanilla milkshakes it would take for the boy to develop some lactose intolerance.

One day, she could not stand it anymore and just said aggressively “The fuck are u looking at”. She didn’t expect his answer. “You are very beautiful you know… sorry I didn’t mean to be creepy, but you are“. She looked at him, eyes wide opened. Nobody ever said that to her. Guys usually just said that she was hot, or bangable. But not beautiful.

After a few seconds, she smiled at him and said, “ Well you’re not bad yourself“ and turned around to get to the register, hoping he hadn’t noticed her blush. Once she was over there, she looked at him more intently, and realized he was actually pretty cute. He was tall, maybe as tall as her best friend Ian, had blond hair and deep brown eyes. He was pretty slim but he had broad shoulders. She learned months after that that he was in the swim team of his prestigious school.  
Two weeks after the “what the fuck are u looking at?“ incident, Jaime took his chance and asked her out. She said yes, because for a while now, he was not the only one staring.

They have been together for almost 3 years now, and things were going well. Jaime was from the North side and his parents owned a huge clothing store in Boystown. They had the most incredible house Mandy had ever seen (the kind of house that Jimmy/Steve parents owned) and everyone, including Jaime's older brother, loved her.

One day, Jaime came to pick up Mandy at the Waffle house, and he saw some creepy dude touch her thigh; it instantly drove him crazy. He walked over and punched the guy in the face, just like Mandy taught him to. At first, she was pretty impressed and proud of his cute boyfriend, who was trying to defend her honor. She was less proud when she got fired because of it. Jaime apologized for two days until Mandy finally gave in and told him never to do that again. She needed the job and now she had to find another one before things get heavy at home. Jaime talked to his parents, explained the situation and they decided to offer her a job at the shop downtown. First she didn’t want to but Mickey convinced her:

“ It’s good money?“ he said. She could hear him let the smoke out of his lungs.  
“ Well, yeah but -“  
“ Will you have to work with the parents or with Jaime?“  
“ No but - “  
“ Then stop annoying me, and take the goddamn job bitch“

And just like that she became a saleswoman in Jaime’s parents store. They were dating for a year when Jaime asked her to move in his freshly bought flat in the North side.  
She thought it was maybe a rushed decision but she couldn’t help it: she wanted badly to get out of the South side. Once before, she thought she would and the mere thought of it used to make her happy for days.

Back then, she was with Lip. Aaah Phillip Gallagher, the stupid asshole who broke her heart.  
She knew she messed up by driving over Karen, leaving her in the state of a fucking vegetable but she couldn’t stand the bitch. Karen messed up with her relationship with Lip, and everybody knows that you don’t mess with a Milkovich. She had hoped Lip would take her away from Canaryville when he would go to college but after all that had happened, he just left without even saying goodbye.

That was the worst year for Mandy: she lost her boyfriend and her brother within a couple of months. So when Jaime showed up, she was in a bad place and he helped her getting through all of her crap.  
She remembered that period with some kind of weird nostalgia though, because back then, she could hang out with her redhead best friend: Lip’s brother, Ian.

Ian was nothing like the other boys she had ever met: he was smart, nice, sensitive and well… Ian was gay. She had a crush on him when they met and his rejection hit her hard but then he told her he was interested in men. She felt very special, being the only one (except for Lip, and Fiona but then Ian didn’t know she knew) who knew about him. She never told him, never had to, but Ian was the only friend she ever had and she valued his friendship more than anything. When the freckled boy decided to leave for the army she thought that the universe was definitely against her. Unlike Mickey, who gave news once a month (and sent some money he saved to her aunt for Mandy) and Lip who gave none, Ian would always find a way to send a letter or call her late at night. Damn, he even got a 4-days permission a year ago, and surprised her on her 20th birthday.

As she packed for her trip to the Hamptons, Mandy realized that she had never been happier than right now. She had a great boyfriend, a great best friend, people who cared about her. She was away from her crazy family, and she would finally get to spend some time with the only sibling she truly cared about. She was thinking about all of this when she got a text from Mickey:

From Mickey, 5.43 p.m  
“ _Can’t believe you tricked me into this bitch. See you this weekend._ “

She smiled fondly at her phone, and whispered “asshole“. This idea was definitely the greatest idea she ever had.

**…**

This idea was definitely the worst idea Mandy had ever had, Mickey thought. He was glad to see his sister, and he hadn’t taken a break since he found his job as a waiter a year ago. After moving out of his dad’s house, he settled down in Woodstock, Illinois and first worked as a bouncer in a club. But things went down, and he quit. Few weeks after, he was in a restaurant and noticed the “HELP – Job available“ sign. He had a week trial and then that was it. Anyway he needed a break but still wasn’t sure if that little trip will be it. Mickey knew he would have to behave, for her sister, in front of all these North side pricks.

First, there was the boyfriend, Jaime. Mickey had never met him, but Mandy sent pictures of them, and he was exactly like he imagined him to be: a rich, blond douchebag. But that wasn’t the worst. Mandy had told him that friends of Jaime were coming too, some rich college students, North side too. They had stupid names too, and Mickey knew already that this was going to be hard for him. Mandy talked about a couple, Jared and Kelly (or Nelly maybe), a guy named Tony, two girls, Kate and Wanda, and Jaime’s brother Kyle. Oh and Mandy’s best friend. He didn’t recall his name and he was actually fucking proud to have remembered all the others.

He decided to go with his car because if anything went wrong he could escape whenever he wanted to. But hell, that was a long ride and it wasn’t cheap so he decided to try those carpool websites he heard about, as a car provider. Maybe someone would be interested in his ad so he posted it, not hoping too much.

**Michael M. 23, car provider**  
**Trip: Woodstock (Illinois) – Hamptons (State of New York)**  
**Car: Black Impala**  
**Costs: 60$**  
**Hour of departure: 9 a.m. (more or less)**  
**Meeting point: needs to be defined**

**Further comments: ask me anything**

 

Mickey closed his laptop, cursing himself because he should have done that days ago if he really wanted it to work and find someone. But hell, driving by himself was not as bad. He set his alarm at 9 a.m. and he went to sleep, hoping that if someone answered, it wouldn’t be at total prick.

…

“- So you’re going?“ Lip said

The older Gallagher boy was sitting on the floor, in front of his brother, smoking a cigarette and reading a book too big to be held for his taste. Ian was lying on his bed in the tiny bedroom, laptop on his lap. He was searching for a cheap ticket for New York. Once in the big apple, taking the shuttle would not be a big deal.

“Yeah, I promised Mandy I would. She can’t stop talking about this boyfriend of hers and I haven’t seen her in ages.“

Lip shrugged at the mention of the boyfriend but Ian didn’t say anything. Because he knew how his brother felt. The night he came home from the army, few weeks after he was diagnosed as bipolar, they got drunk together: Lip didn’t mean to share his feelings (he wasn’t like that, and Gallaghers don’t do therapy) but he missed his brother and spilled the beans. He talked about college, and how he hated being a tutor for first-year pricks but he mainly did it for extra credits since it was his last year, and the money was not so bad. Then he started talking about Mandy.

College girls were either self-centered bitches or shy, empty saints. Even worse, one of them, obviously the one Lip dated for a while, was a psychotic, controlling but rich genius. Her name was Amanda. At first, he liked her because, well she bought him stuff and scammed her own parents to give him money, but she expected Lip to be available anytime she wanted him to be. As much as you don’t mess with a Milkovich, you don’t ever EVER try to control a Gallagher. They lasted 6 months until Lip simply told her “why don’t you get the fuck out of my life, uh?“

“Things were simple with Mandy, you know?“ Lip said. They were under the L, sharing a joint. “She could be a pain in the ass sometimes, and I am still not over the fact that she tried to kill Karen but… but I don’t know… I guess I just see things differently now“.  
That’s all he said that night but Ian knew his brother more than anyone in the world and he knew this was his way of telling him he missed her.

“Earth to Ian? Yo man!“

Lip extracted Ian from his thoughts and the redhead came back to his laptop. The train tickets were really expensive and he didn’t know how he would manage to find that much money. He didn’t want to ask his siblings for money. They were already struggling to pay for his meds, since Ian wasn’t allowed to work yet. He saved some but he was kind of hoping to keep it to have fun once he was in the Hamptons.

“Man, when did the train become so expensive? I only need a one-way ticket and I can’t even afford that!“ Ian said. The last thing he wanted was to call Mandy and cancel. She would kill him.

“A one-way ticket? How are you coming back?“ Lip asked

“Mandy told me that her friends live in Chicago and that I could come back with.“

“Cool… hey, why don’t you try one this carpooling thing? It’s cheap and maybe you ‘ll get laid, who knows?“

Ian wanted to kick his brother in the head but Lip was fast, and he was up in a second.

“I’m just sayin’ man. Look I told Fiona I would help with Liam tonight. She wants to go out with Vee or somethin’. Catch you later?“

“Yeah man, no problem.“ Ian flipped the bird at his brother and just like that Lip left the room, laughing. Ian got up to open the window to smoke a cigarette and get some air. This summer was particularly hot and he was sweating as if he just went back from one of his jogging session. Once he got rid of his smoke, he sat on his bed, and took back his laptop.

So, carpooling was not a bad idea. Ian typed it in and found some websites that could be helpful. After an hour of search, he was desperate. Nothing was good. Then he finally found something interesting:

**Michael M. 23, car provider**  
**Trip: Woodstock (Illinois) – Hamptons (State of New York)**  
**Car: Black Impala**  
**Costs: 60$**  
**Hour of departure: 9 a.m. (more or less)**  
**Meeting point: needs to be defined**

**Further comments: ask me anything**

Well, that could do it. This Michael would maybe agree to pick him up in Chicago. For now, it was his best option. Woodstock was only an hour and a half away from Chicago and he obviously would have to drive by the windy city to get to the Hamptons.  
He opened a “new message“ window and sent to this Michael a few questions. Maybe this would work. He just hoped the guy was not a total douchebag.

…

When Mickey woke up, his alarm has not even buzzed yet. He stretched his sleepy members then went to the kitchen to have coffee and a smoke. The perfect breakfast if you asked him.

He opened up his laptop to see if he had any emails and there it was: a message from a certain Ian. Mickey opened it, slowly sipping his black coffee with too much sugar in it.

**Ian G. 21, car sharer**  
**Trip: Woodstock (Illinois) – Hamptons (State of New York)**  
**Hour of departure: 9 a.m. (more or less)**  
**Meeting point: needs to be defined**

**Further comments: Hi, I live in Chicago, do you think we could meet somewhere along the way?**  
**Also, I can’t drive, would it be a problem?**  
**Thanks for your answer.**

Well, Mickey never thought someone would answer so he was pretty glad. Too bad this “Ian“ couldn’t drive because this was a pretty long drive. He thought about it again, and didn’t realize when he spoke at loud and said, “Hell, nobody drives my baby“. He typed a quick answer:

**Michael M. 23, car provider**  
**Trip: Woodstock (Illinois) – Hamptons (State of New York)**  
**Car: Black Impala**  
**Costs: 60$**  
**Hour of departure: 9 a.m. (more or less)**  
**Meeting point: needs to be defined**

**Further comments: yeah, I can pick u up in Chicago, seems the simplest thing to do. But let’s say 10 a.m. then, on Saturday morning, Chicago train station.**

He closed his laptop after realizing that if he stayed like that more, he would be late for work. He got up, and for a second, tried to imagine what this Ian would look like. As long as he wasn’t a pain in his ass, everything should be fine.

If only he knew.


	2. teasing and sneaking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this was kind of hard since I don’t master the dialogue thing but I hope it’s any good. Please let me know if I stuck to the characters and if you like it !

 

When Ian woke up at 6 a.m. he checked his emails and there was nothing. He was desperately waiting for an answer from this Michael and he couldn’t stand the wait. But then he realized it was too early to be that impatient. He took his meds, a brand new cocktail that the doc ordered, grabbed his snickers and went for a run.

When he came back, the house was still quiet, only Fiona was up so early, cleaning the kitchen. Ian was glad he was back from the Army even if the circumstances were not happy ones. Anyway, he decided to get a grip when his world fell apart and everyone was proud of him. He definitely had nothing in common with Monica.

 

Fiona was cleaning a mountain of dishes from the previous day, but it was a real mess and she was all over it.

 

“- Ian, could you finish that for me, please I’m gonna be late.“

 

“- Yeah Fi, no problem.“

 

That wasn’t a big deal, he was used to it. Since he couldn’t work yet, he was doing a lot of things at home: groceries, laundry, cooking… It was nice to be useful, but he was glad he got a chance to escape for a few days. He wanted to meet Mandy’s boyfriend, hang out with her friends and drink beers like a normal 21-year-old dude.

 

Once he was done with the cleaning, he made her a sandwich and put it in a brown bag just like she was a schoolgirl. He laughed at the thought and he decided to remind Fiona the time, Gallagher style: shouting.

 

“Fi, you’re gonna be fucking late, just leave already!!“

 

He made it to the stairs and went for a shower before he could start his daily routine of chores. He wrapped all of it around 11 a.m. and decided to check his mailbox.

“YES!“ he thought when he read Michael’s answer. He replied, gave his phone number and decided to add a smiley face. This was going to be absolutely perfect.

 

**…**

 

“I’m telling you, what kind of fucker puts smiley faces in emails?“ Mickey inhaled deeply on his smoke, enjoying his afternoon break with the only other waiter he appreciated, Curtis.

 

“Dunno man, doesn’t seem like such a big deal to me.“

 

“I’m telling you, if he tries to fuck with me, I’ll leave him somewhere along the road.“ Mickey said, laughing a little.

 

“The worst part is that I’m sure you are capable of doing it.“ Curtis tossed his cigarette away and headed to the door, Mickey on his heels.

“Damn right I am man.“

 

 

The next morning, Mickey decided to sleep as much as he could since he was driving to The Hamptons the next day and had to wake up at 7 a.m. He spent the day doing nothing, drinking beer and watching movies. He got out around 6 p.m. to buy a pack of smokes, and went back home to pack his stuff. Later that night, he realized that he was kind of excited about the whole thing. He never went to the Hamptons, never carpooled before. He kind of hoped that this also would be an occasion to get laid. He had no opportunity lately and he was on edge. The only problem was that, in order to go out and find someone to hook up with, he kinda needed to tell the truth to Mandy. He thought that this was about time, though. Her sister had no connection whatsoever with their siblings nor their dad, and for some reason, he needed her to know. Somehow, he would find a way to be alone with her, with a drink and a joint maybe, and just … blurt out the truth. She had the right to know. He finished packing, his mind going over all the possible reactions she could have and went to bed. Whatever might happen this week, it will definitely be one to remember.

 

…

 

Mickey looked at his knuckles and was glad he took his fingerless driving gloves. He loved them. Mandy thought it was stupid and ugly but Mickey said it was badass. Besides he didn’t want to afraid this Ian with his “fuck u-up“ tattoo. Once they got to talk a little, he would take them off. But for now, he wanted to play it cool. He put them on and grabbed his phone.

 

**_From Michael, 9.40 a.m._ **

_“Hey, I’m in front of the train station man, where are you?“_

 

Mickey had arrived at the station 10 minutes ago but it was only 9.30 a.m. so he decided to give the guy a few minutes. But patience was never his middle name.

 

**_From Ian, 9.44 a.m._ **

_“I‘ll be there in 2 minutes“_ Ian texted back.

 

**_From Michael, 9. 44 a.m._ **

_“How am I supposed to recognize you?“_

****

**_From Ian, 9.46 a.m._ **

_“Huh, I’ll find you, you said you have a black Impala right?“_

**_From Michael, 9. 47 a.m._ **

“Yep man“

 

**_From Ian, 9.47 a.m._ **

_“Then, it won’t be hard, you don’t get to see one of those everyday“_

 

Damn, Mickey already liked the guy. Anyone who could appreciate the rare beauty of his car couldn’t be a total douchebag.

 

Two minutes later, he was standing in front of his car, smoking his tenth cigarette of the day when he saw a tall redhead coming his way.

 

“Hi… Michael?“

 

“Yep, that’s me“

 

The boys shook hands and Mickey opened the trunk so Ian could dodge his bag. It was the bag he used to carry when he was in the army. Ian noticed that Mickey was staring at it, but Mickey didn’t say anything, never been much of a talker. They closed the truck, got in the car, and left the train station.

 

They were silent for a few minutes, not knowing what to say or do. Ian was uncomfortable so he just started talking.

 

“So you carpool often?“

 

“Nope“

 

 _Okayy… this isn’t going to be long at all_ , Ian thought.

 

Mickey jiggled a little in his seat, aware that he was being a douchebag: the guy was obviously trying to make the situation less awkward.

 

“Mind if I smoke?“ Mickey said. Ian didn’t and so Mickey grabbed his pack, and put his smokes in front of Ian, proposing one. Ian took the offer, opened the window and lit the cigarette. He almost laughed when he saw that Mickey was struggling with his lighter: the thing was obviously dead but the other man didn't want to give up.

 

“Here, let me.“ Ian took his own lighter, and lit Mickey’s smoke. Mickey shrugged because the guy was too close and he didn’t want to admit it, but the fucker was pretty hot. Thank god he had to keep his eyes on the road, otherwise he would be staring right now. Ian was wearing a white V-neck with dark blue jeans. _He is fucking tall!_ Mickey thought but he didn’t mind. He had fierce red hair and freckles that made him look very young. He wasn’t though, Mickey knew that; he was Mandy’s age so it was correct. A little voice in his head said, “ _correct for what exactly huh Milkovich?_ “ he shut that off and started talking.

 

“About what you said earlier, it’s the first time I do this carpool shit. It’s just… It’s a long drive and gas is pretty expensive.“

 

“Yeah I know.“ Ian was happy Mickey was willing to talk but he realized he didn’t really know what to say either.

 

“I … wanted to go by the train but this shit is too expensive man. I didn’t want to waste all my money on that.“

 

“I get it. So … where are you going?“

 

“Visiting a friend I haven’t seen for a while. You?”

 

“Sister.“ And just like that Mickey was out. He had nothing to add.

Ian could see that, Mickey was biting his lower lip with force, and he was almost afraid the guy would bleed.  “ _But you'd like that, right Gallagher?_ “ Ian’s inner voice was awake and apparently very happy with the situation. This Michael was definitely hot: he had never seen such blue, profound eyes and he liked it. Fuck.

 

“By the way, thanks for picking me up in Chicago.“

 

“Yeah no problem, man. I grew up there so it was nice to come back.“ Mickey hadn’t set a foot in Chicago since he left 4 years ago, and being there was both weird and nice.

 

“ Yeah, where?“ Ian asked

 

Mickey hesitated for a while but settled for the truth. “ Canaryville.“

 

“You gotta be kidding! Me too!”

 

“Yeah, man? It’s weird I never saw you. What’s your name again?“

 

“Gallagher“

 

HOLY SHIT.

 

“Gallagher, like Frank “piece of shit, always drunk“ Gallagher?“ Mickey couldn’t believe it.

 

“Yeah… Well technically he’s not my father but yeah that Frank.“ Ian smiled a little at the coincidence: this was definitely a small world.

 

“What do you mean he’s not your father?“ Mickey asked. The redhead wasn’t making any sense.

 

“Let’s just say that my mom is a crazy bitch who screwed her husband’s brother and here I am.“

 

“That’s fucked up man. Even for you, Gallaghers.“ Mickey snorted

 

“Oh believe me, there are way more fucked-up families than mine in the South side.“ Ian couldn’t help but think about the stories Mandy had told him about her family: the guns, the broken probation, and the whores…

 

As for Mickey, he was pretty sure that Ian was talking about the Milkoviches. He was suddenly very happy to have hidden his tattooed knuckles.

 

“What about you? Maybe I know your family. What’s your name?“ Ian was eager to know.

 

 _Fuck_ Mickey thought. No way he was telling Ian who he was. The boy would probably freak out and get out of the car without hesitation. Besides, for some reason he wanted Ian to like him. _And you know why, kinky bastard_. Once again, Mickey shut off the voice in his head and decided to give his mother’s name.

 

“Monroe.“ he replied, eyes not leaving the road.

 

“Huh, never heard of them.“

 

“I left Canaryville a while ago, and my siblings don’t live there anymore.”

 

That was a white lie. Mandy didn’t live in Canaryville anymore, and his brothers plus his father were in prison. White lie.

 

Ian nodded and didn’t try to know more, the subject was definitely making the man nervous. He settled for something else.

 

“So, Michael, what do you do for a living huh?“

 

“I am a waiter, man. I don’t particularly love it, but gotta pay the bills, you know. What about you?“ Mickey was so glad Ian didn’t insist, he was all of a sudden very comfortable with talking.

 

“I don’t work for now, I went through some shit lately and I’m on meds.“

 

“That the reason you can’t drive?“

 

Mickey was surprised by his reply. Usually he was just content with people’s answers, he didn’t want to know more. But this Ian kind of intrigued him.

 

“Yeah, I’m on a whole new cocktail and there can be side effects so … better safe than sorry I guess.“ Ian said

 

“What kind of shit do you have?“

 

Ian didn’t want to scare Mickey but he didn’t want to lie either.

 

“Hum… I’m bipolar”

 

“Fuck that’s heavy. Wasn’t your mom bipolar?“

 

Ian looked at Mickey, stunned that he would know that. Monica was known in their neighborhood but Mickey seemed to know a lot about his family.

 

“ Yeah she is. I’m the lucky son who inherited her good genes.“ Ian looked at his knees, a little awkward, then looked at Mickey to see his face. Mickey wasn’t acting weird or anything.

 

“Well, shit happens man. As long as you’re on your meds, everything will be fine.“

 

Ian was so glad Mickey was reacting like that. Usually people tended to say things like

“I’m so sorry“ or “you can beat this thing“ as if it wasn’t a life condition. This guy was something, really.

 

They talked about many things during the first four hours of the trip. Truth be told, Ian was the one talking: he told Mickey about the army, how he couldn’t get into West Point, about when he found out he was bipolar. For some reason, he was relaxed around Mickey and he couldn’t quite explain it. Until he talked about his dancing career.

“It was in a club in Boystown, the Fairytale, and that was actually pretty fun.“ he said with a smirk on his face.

 

“The Fairytale? What kind of weirdo calls his bar Fairytale?“ Mickey never heard of it.

 

“A gay owner, I guess“

 

Mickey felt his whole body tense in a second and of course, Ian noticed; the redhead was praying all the gods the other man wasn't an homophobic prick because he wasn't up for a beat up that early in the day.

 

“Yeah I’m gay. That a problem?“ he said quietly.

 

 _No it’s not, No it’s not, No it’s not!_ The voice in Mickey’s head was back.

 

“Nah I don’t care man“

 

Ian didn’t know that Mickey’s mind was running a hundred miles minute because he was kind of excited for Ian to like men. The redhead was sure that this was something else. Boy, his gaydar was so off.

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything-“

 

“It’s ok man, I really don’t care.“ Mickey sighed and tried as much as he could to be cool.

 

Ian told him about the few stories that happened to him during the few months he worked there, and sometimes Mickey would even smile at him. _That’s a fucking bright smile_ , Ian thought. At some point, he caught Mickey looking at him with an insistent gaze that Ian couldn’t quite define. Was the guy checking on him? _No way_ he thought.

 

They were silent for a moment when an idea popped in his head.

 

“What about a game? I ask you questions and you have to answer as quickly as you can“? Ian said

 

“ Oh come on man, what are you, a 15 year old teenage girl? God you remind me of my sister sometimes!“

 

Ian smiled at him, but wasn’t giving up.

 

“Oh come on Mick! This will be fun, I swear!“

 

“Fuck, you really are like her. Only her calls me Mick.“

 

“Well, Can I? I mean call you Mick?“

 

“Yeah dude I don’t mind.“

 

Ian wriggled in his seats and started thinking about his questions.

 

“So, strawberry or raspberry?“ Ian said.

 

“Fuck you, cherry.“

 

“Okay… beach or mountain?“

 

“Beach, obviously.“

 

“Van Damme or Seagal?“

 

“Seagal, fucking powerful ponytail.“

 

"Really?" Ian laughed a little and continued with his investigation.

 

“Whiskey or vodka?“

 

“Whiskey“ Mickey didn’t want to admit it but this was fun. Unlike Mandy, Ian was asking not so stupid things.

 

“Blue or red?“

 

“Red.“ Mickey shrugged a little, because yesterday he would have probably said blue.

 

“Boys or girls?“

 

“Boys“. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck, why did he say that? He didn’t want to look at Ian right now but he could feel that the other boy was staring.

Ian wanted to burst in joy. Mickey, gay? Well that was fucking interesting! He thought about what his brother said to him that night and laughed silently: “ _Hey, why don’t you try one this carpooling thing? It’s cheap and maybe you ‘ll get laid, who knows_?“

Mickey extracted him from his thoughts.

 

“You finished, firecrotch?“

 

“No, no just give me a minute to… think about another one“

 

Mickey sensed a sudden change in the atmosphere and he was as tense as he could ever get. Why didn’t he just shut his mouth?

 

“Okay, so pringles or snicker bars“

 

“Snicker bars. I like them sweet.“

 

“I bet you do.“ Ian said with a shit-eating grin.

_What was that?_ Mickey thought. Ian was glowing, and he didn’t know why. He looked at him puzzled, trying to figure out what was it, when a thought came out of nowhere. _Maybe some higher force is rewarding me for something and sent this guy. Fuck I am sure he’s a top_. He considered the situation for a moment and realized that he had nothing to lose. He could have a good fuck before dropping off Ian in the Hamptons, and go to Mandy a little relaxed. Damn, he could even give Ian a call sometimes if he was bored and needed to get out of Jaime’s house.

 

“You wanna stop or something? I need to take a piss and I’m starving“ Mickey already had a plan on his mind.

 

“Yeah sure. I could use a bite“

 


	3. I'm just a day tripper (saturday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m not very glad with this chapter so I would like you guys to really tell me what you think. I have a clear idea of what I wanna do next so this was pretty much necessary but not so clear in my mind. Hope you’ll like it anyway! ☺ 
> 
> btw, if there's any mistakes, just tell, I did my best

(this is [the house](http://www.google.fr/imgres?imgurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kdhamptons.com%2Fwp-content%2Fuploads%2F2012%2F08%2FScreen-Shot-2012-08-10-at-11.45.58-AM-e1344614006889.png&imgrefurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kdhamptons.com%2Fcould-this-modern-east-hampton-gem-be-your-new-home%2F&h=720&w=1220&tbnid=f_hbvJ1K9sdOyM%3A&zoom=1&docid=T1_6NwsP8kxNKM&ei=qqAAVKTDBMrcaqaDgogL&tbm=isch&iact=rc&uact=3&dur=317&page=4&start=55&ndsp=20&ved=0CIACEK0DMEg), nothing too fancy for these guys)  
 

It took 2 hours for Mickey to find a place to eat. They had driven by gas stations, creepy diners in which even Mickey would not set a foot when they finally got to come across something more or less acceptable.

 

Mickey was exhausted and they were only halfway to the Hamptons. So when he pulled over and got out of the car, he almost ran into the diner. They sat on a booth far from the entrance, face to face, waiting for the waitress to come and take the order. Mickey didn’t say anything, nor Ian but it wasn’t really awkward. Mickey appreciated that about Ian: the guy could apparently spend hours talking about anything but knew when to just shut up. Most people were just incapable of sensing a need for silence, but not the redhead.

 

Ian was maybe silent but in his head, he was seriously trying to come up with something kinky. He wasn’t as tired as Mickey, and the only thing he could think of was how to get the guy in front of him. Now that he was facing Mickey, it was like all he saw earlier was more perfect. He could stare at Mickey’s strong arms, broad chest and pale skin. He wondered how it’d feel like to have his hand go through black hair, and kiss the skin right under the man’s jaw. He couldn’t define it, but something about Mickey made him feel weird. He had a strange feeling in his stomach that he never felt. It was not bad, maybe kind of nice even but it was … unsettling. He knew nothing about the guy and yet, here he was trying to figure him out.

 

“Sorry I cant’ drive man. You really seem weary.“ Ian said

 

“That’s okay, nothing a burger and a beer can’t fix“

 

“You gonna drink?“

 

“Yes, mom“ Mickey rolled his eyes at Ian but couldn’t help but smile. “Just one beer for… courage“.

 

“You need courage to drive?“

 

“No dumbass, courage to put up with you and your stupid games“

 

Ian smiled at him, and jiggled on the booth, accidently touching Mickey’s leg with his. He looked at Mickey and he felt like his heart missed a beat: Mickey was staring at him, with such an intense gaze he could barely stand it. The staring contest could have lasted hours if the waitress didn’t choose this moment to get to their table.

 

“Hello gentlemen. What can I get you?“

 

“I’ll have a cheeseburger and a beer, please“ Mickey looked at Ian, and insisted on the word beer, just to prove that he was going to get that beer, no matter what. Ian tittered and asked for a menu. Once the waitress left, Mickey sighed and furrowed his eyebrows, Milkovich style.

 

“Really? You need the menu, firecrotch?“ Mickey said

 

“Give me a break, it’s not like I’ve ever been in this place before“

 

“And it’s not like every fucking diner had the same shit. I have to pee.“

 

Mickey stood up and went for the bathroom. He took his time, reading almost every dirty note on the wall. He was nervous, and he knew exactly why. He wanted desperately to make a move but he didn’t know how. Time was running though. They still had a long ride to make but after this one stop, having another long one was unlikely. _I could pretend I need a pack of smokes or that I need coffee,_ Mickey thought. He looked at himself in the mirror and realized he was conspiring like a teenage girl.

_Get a grip Milkovich!_

 

The problem was still the same. Mickey doesn’t do flirting, and as hell doesn’t do dates. This wasn’t a gay bar or a club in which you just had to stand and wait for someone to buy you a drink. This was a fucking diner on a fucking road trip and he didn’t even know how to initiate the whole thing. _Well I can try_ he thought. He washed his hands and gathered his shit, ready for round one.

 

When he came back, the waitress was talking to Ian, and she was almost leaning on the table. Mickey sniggered, and thought about how girls were the same. This was exactly the type of thing his sister would do to get some guy’s attention. When he arrived right behind her, he cleared his throat loudly and she turned back with a bright flush on her cheeks. Mickey looked at her, obviously annoyed.

 

“I’ll be right back with your food“ she stepped away and ran into the kitchen.

 

“If she spits in your burger, you’ll know why“ Ian said.

 

“If she does that, I’ll break her arm.“

 

“Aren’t you charming, Mick.“

 

“Oh come on, I’m starving and you’re the one who needs to get the fucking menu. Besides she was clearly hitting on you.“

 

“That a problem for you?“ Ian said with a grin.

_So, that’s how you wanna do this_ , Mickey thought. Maybe he didn’t need to initiate after all.

 

“No, I’d rather say it’s a problem for you since you don’t play in that court.“

 

“Well, it’s always nice to get some attention. Even if I’m not interested.“

 

“So you’re a narcissist bitch.“

 

Ian laughed loudly and Mickey loved it. He watched Ian laughing as if it was the cutest thing ever, even though he wouldn’t say cute. like ever.

 

The waitress came back with the order (Ian finally opted for a burger too) and Mickey barely waited for her to put the plates on the table to put his food in his mouth. They ate in silent, looking at each other sometimes but not saying a word. The atmosphere was relaxed, and Mickey was feeling much better than 30 minutes ago.

 

“So, does your car have a name?“ Ian asked

 

“Yeah, sure“ Mickey scowled a little.

 

“Then what is it?“

 

Mickey didn’t say anything, apparently too absorbed by his beer.

 

“Oh come on, I won’t judge, I promise.“ Ian gave a small kick in Mickey’s leg to make him say.

 

“It’s Lana, okay“

 

“Are you a comic book fan or something?“

 

“What? No! What the fuck are you talking about?“

 

“I don’t know, I thought it was a reference to Superman or something.“

 

Mickey was upset, he didn’t want to talk about this, with anyone, ever. But Ian’s puppy eyes softened his mood and he went for a quick explanation.

 

“Look I didn’t mean to be an ass. It’s the name of a friend. A dead friend. And I sure as hell don’t want to talk about this.“ Mickey looked at his empty plate and sighed, with the feeling that he had already said too much. “How about we change the subject, okay?“

 

“I’m sorry, really I didn’t mean to pry or anything.“ Ian felt like a complete idiot. He managed to ruin the mood with a simple question.

“How about I drink the beer so you stay sober huh?“

 

“No way, firecrotch. Get your own if you wanna but I ain’t gonna share“ Mickey was still a little tense but grateful for the twist.

 

“Maybe not a beer, but a dessert then.“

 

Ian called the waitress and ordered a milkshake. Mickey went for a vanilla ice cream, extra chocolate chips and caramel syrup.

 

“You do like them sweet huh?“ Ian couldn’t help. He had the chance to reset the mood.

 

“Yeah… what about you, Gallagher? How do you like ‘em?“

 

Ian crossed his arms, never leaving Mickey’s eyes and just said “You’ll find out.“

 

Mickey was gloating inside. This was going exactly where he wanted it to.

 

“Yeah, rather sooner than later I hope.“ he grinned at Ian, and took a sip of his beer.

 

Ian was about to say something when his phone buzzed: Lip was calling.

 

“I’ll be back in a minute. Oh and cancel my milkshake, I don’t really want it anyway.“

 

Once Ian was out, he finally answered his phone.

 

“Hey, lil’ bro, what’s up?“

 

“Hey Lip. I’m fine, everything’s fine."

 

“So you didn’t end up with a psychopath, I’m relieved. You could have texted asswipe.“

 

“I know I’m sorry. I was just…“

 

Suddenly Ian didn’t know what to say. Flirting?

 

“You were what?“

 

“The guy I’m with is … I don’t know“

 

“Ooh I know this tone, you're really gonna get laid, you lucky bastard“

 

“Fuck you“ Ian’s tone was not aggressive but he was not going to admit to his brother that he was right.

 

“Well, I’ll let you to your kinky ways. Call me when you get there.“

 

“Yeah right. First thing“

 

“Bye... Asshole.“

 

“Douchebag“

 

And just like that he hung up. Ian didn’t really know what to say to his brother but the fucker was pretty instinctive. He lit up a cigarette, knowing that he has time since Mickey ordered dessert.

 

**…**

 

Mickey looked at Ian behind the window. He almost finished his dessert and didn’t know what to do. Was he supposed to wait for Ian to come back? He was waiting there like an idiot, considering every possibility when, out of nowhere he heard Mandy’s voice “you’re a fucking pussy“. He stood up, went to the register to pay the bill and went out. He was not even outside that he grabbed a smoke and lit it the second he passed the door. Ian was standing in front of his car, throwing away his own cigarette.

 

“You done already?“ Ian seemed surprised.

 

“Yeah man, let’s go“

 

“Wait you already paid?“ Ian seemed embarrassed he didn’t want to give the impression that he was taking advantage of the situation or anything.

 

“Of course“ Mickey rolled his eyes, this was not a big deal. Although the redhead seemed to think so.

 

“I’m flattered. Was this a date, Mick?“

 

“Fuck you I don’t do dates.“

 

“I’m not even surprised.”

 

Ian was looking at Mickey with a mischievous smile, in which Mickey saw his best opportunity.

 

“I always thought it was a waste of time anyway. I like to be straight."

 

“When you’re not.“

 

“You are not funny.“

 

“Oh I am though. Admit it.“

 

Mickey went closer, few inches from Ian and looked him in the eyes, hoping that the message would be received.

 

“Why don’t you cut the crap, and just get on me Gallagher huh“

 

Ian grinned hard and followed Mickey when he opened the backseat door of the impala. Right before Mickey pulled him in the car, he wondered how he got so lucky in the first place. Carpooling was awesome.

 

**….**

 

Ian was still buckling his belt when Mickey started driving. They said nothing but sometimes, they would look at each other with a smile. Ian started to laugh silently, he thought about Lip again. He so wanted to get to the Hamptons, and tell Mandy everything! Unfortunately getting there would also mean that it was time for him to let go of Mickey. Now that he had a preview, he didn’t want to leave Mickey and just go on with his week.

 

“Whatcha thinkin’ firecrotch?“ Mickey interrupted him in his thoughts.

 

“Nothing just… I wondered if I’d get to see you this week. I mean we’ll be both in the Hamptons, and I honestly don’t know what I’m about to get into so…-

 

“Yeah, why not. If my sister is a pain in the ass, which she is, I’ll call you“

 

“Cool“

 

Hours passed by, with Ian’s unstoppable chatting and Mickey’s muffled noises of approbation. Sometimes it just meant “go on” other time it would be his way of telling Ian he was paying attention. When they finally arrived near New York, Ian was ecstatic.

 

“Hold your horses Gallagher, we still have two hours to go“ Mickey said

 

“I know, but you gotta admit this is pretty amazing”

 

“It’s just a city full of pricks, who think they are better than everyone else. I don’t see what the big deal is“

 

“Maybe but at least, you can be whoever you want here. Come on, Mick, you lived in the South side, you know how is it: the hiding, the scams, people who judge you based on your family’s record… I’m tired of that shit. Back there, I’m just a poor bipolar bastard. And it’s never gonna change.“

 

Ian looked at his hands, because he didn’t want to see Mickey’s face. Even to Lip, he never admitted what he truly felt about their lives. Just like that, just because the person who was listening was Mickey, he was given the opportunity to be honest.

 

Mickey didn’t know how to answer to that. He wanted to explain to Ian why he left the South side in the first place, why he never went back for four years… He wanted to share. _Must be the sex, I’m loosing it_. He decided to refrain his thoughts and just grunted.

 

“Does your family know? I mean that you’re gay.” Ian asked, taking Mickey by surprise.

 

“Huh, my father, beat the shit out of me when he discovered. But I don’t really care. I was actually planning on telling my sister this week. She is the only sibling I care about so.“

 

“My family knows. My little brother is always asking me weird questions about it, like where the gay wieners go and stuff but mostly people just don’t care.“

 

Ian’s phone buzzed again, it was Mandy she was giving him the address to get to the beach house. Ian used the GPS in his phone to lead Mickey through the huge alleys of the residential neighborhood.

 

“I’ll use your phone later, mine is dead and I need to talk to my sister to get to her place.“

 

“Yeah no problem. Look it’s right here! You can just pull over right in front the house."

 

Mickey stopped the car and got out of it. He let escape a loud moan: the house was huge: two floors from what he could see, with a large porch and a garden. Even from the front yard, you could see that there was a pool in the back. Two cars were parked outside, two black and white hummers. _Douchebags with money_ , Mickey thought. Ian was unloading the truck when they heard a scream, that immediately sounded too familiar for Mickey’s taste.

 

“Iaaaaaaan“ Mandy jumped on her best friend, almost making him fall.

 

Mickey was watching the scene, and everything was blurred for a minute. He was trying to put the pieces together when he realized. FUCK.

 

“I’m so glad that you’re here, asshole! How was your- Mickey??”

 

Mandy’s brother was speechless.

 

“Oh my god you gotta be kidding me!“ Mandy was screaming again, high pitched voice.

 

“Wait, how do you- you- you’re Mickey?“

 

Mickey was still on silence mode, so he just nodded and lit a cigarette. The voice in his head kept going

_you’re so fucked, you’re so fucked_

 

“This is the most incredibly fucked up coincidence I’ve ever witnessed guys! Come her asshole“.

Mandy went to hug her brother, which calmed down Mickey a little. He was slowly coming back from wherever he was. When he looked at Ian, the redhead was staring, obviously shocked by the news. When Mickey grabbed his bag and passed by Ian’s side he just whispered “ you shut your hole Gallagher, or I’ll break every fucking knuckle on your hand."

 

This week was definitely going to be interesting.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooooo...?
> 
> Also for the accuracy of the timeline, I checked how long the trip should be (damn almost 14 hours) so when the guys get there it's more or less midnight. Needed to clear that out :)


	4. it's saturday night, baby

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So this is basically Ian and Mickey's first night at the beach house. They get to meet everyone and the tension is building up fast...  
> Hope you like it !

Mandy couldn’t stop jumping all over the place, even though Mickey was rolling his eyes at her. He forgot how her sister could be such a girl sometimes. He and Ian were following her through the maze of the house that appeared to be even bigger once you were in it.

“So here’s the kitchen and the living room “she said. “My bedroom and Kyle’s are there too-“

“Who’s Kyle?“ Mickey asked. He didn’t recall his sister talking about a Kyle. But again he didn’t recall Ian as well.

“Kyle is Jaime’s brother dumbass. I told you.“

Mickey let out a small groan.

“Speaking of which, I might have let slip some information…“ Mandy was smiling mischievously, and Mickey didn’t understand right there that she was talking to Ian. Something was definitely up, he could tell. He knew his sister and she was conspiring about something.

“Hum, let’s talk about that later.“ Ian said

 _So he knows what’s going on_ , Mickey thought. He followed Mandy and Ian to the stairs, dragging his bag upstairs.

“So this is Ian’s room and yours is right here, Mick.“

“Whoa, this place is amazing Mands.“

“Yeah, your stupid boyfriend is loaded.“ Mickey grinned at her and she pinched his arm.

“Shut up, you haven’t even met him yet. There's a bathroom right down the hall if you want to clean up, I'll wait for you guys downstairs.“

Ian pulled her towards him and put a small peck on her cheek. “Thank you.“

“Later douchebag.“ This was definitely for Mickey, who flipped the bird at her. Once she disappeared, Mickey looked at Ian, who was staring.

“So are we-“ Ian began but Mickey suddenly went into his room, looked at Ian for a second and slammed his door. He was pretty sure then that he heard Ian sighed and let out a small “okay…“

He put his bag on the bed and looked around. He had never been to such a place: there was a king size bed in the middle of the room and black and white pictures on the walls. The furniture was black and purple, very sober and elegant and Mickey had to admit he liked it. On the nightstand, Mandy put towels and a toothbrush, which made Mickey smile. Every time he would go on a trip, he would forget the toothbrush, and Mandy remembered that. That small gesture was nothing but he knew it was just her way of telling him “I know you and I missed you.“

He started unpacking when he heard noises coming through his window (which was a door window by the way) and saw people coming into the house, dressed with swimsuits and beach towels in hands. He figured they were Jaime’s friends coming back from the beach.

He took one of the towels, clean clothes and went to the bathroom, hoping that Ian wasn’t in there already, otherwise he would have to go downstairs and meet everyone before cleaning up. No way.

The bathroom was so huge he took him a minute to actually get into the shower. He let the hot water drifting on his body, thinking about how he would have turned out if his parents were so wealthy. He chuckled a little to himself because he knew deep down money had nothing to do with that; Terry was a psycho and being rich would have never changed that. After a while, he got out, put some clothes on and headed to his bedroom when he heard voices coming from Ian’s room. For all he knew, eavesdropping never killed anyone.

“I hope you didn’t say anything stupid.“ Ian said

“Of course not. I just said that you were gorgeous, gay and desperately looking for a hook up.“

“MANDY! “ Ian was obviously upset.

“Oooh relax, I’m just kidding. But seriously, Kyle is fucking gorgeous and you need to enjoy a little bit.“

So that was it. Jaime’s brother was gay, and Mandy was hooking them up. Mickey, as much as he didn’t want to admit it, was not overly fond of the idea. He needed to clear things up with Ian after what happened on the road, but he sure as hell didn’t want to have a competitor. _Listen to yourself Milkovich_! The voice in his head screamed.

He had enough of it, so he went to his bedroom and didn’t realize he slammed the door. Again. A few minutes after, someone knocked at his door, it was Mandy.

“Hey brother! So unpacked yet?“

“Almost.“ Mickey was looking for his cigarette, he desperately needed a smoke.

“I hope you don’t plan on being grumpy the entire week or I’ll have to kick your stupid ass.“

Mickey was about to retaliate but he stared at his sister for a while. Mandy was still the same but she had changed a lot. She seemed relaxed, clean and less on edge than she used to be, she seemed very happy. It made something melt in Mickey: his sister was glad he was here and he didn’t want to ruin that. Not for now at least.

“Nah, just tired. Do you have smokes?

“I bought a carton this morning, knew you were coming. Come on, let’s go downstairs.“ She winked at him and left the room.

Mickey followed her and was finally able to put faces on names.

“Hey guys." Mandy said. “This is my brother, Mickey.“

Jaime (the only one Mickey knew, thanks to the pictures he received) came towards him to shake hands.

“Hi man, it’s nice to meet you after all this time.” Jaime said.

Mickey nodded and shook hands with the tall blond boy.

“So this is Jared and Kelly, Tony and here’s is Kate and my brother Kyle.”

Mickey was greeted by a common “hi” and just tried to smile at them, but he didn’t say anything.

“Not much of a talker, huh?“ The girl, Kate was looking at him with a huge smile and came closer to kiss him on the cheeks.

Mickey was surprised but kissed her back. “You French or something?“ Mickey said.

“ Funny you say that, I just came back from a semester in Paris. I guess I’m just used to it by now.“

Mickey wanted to say something like “Who said being loaded made life easier?“ but again he just arrived. Better not make enemies the first night.

“You were at the beach?“ He said instead.

“Yeah, there's an awesome party we expected for like a week now. We just came back to grab some beers and say hi, see if Mandy wanted to join.“ Jaime replied.

Mickey didn’t notice that her sister went to the kitchen but he was grateful to see her come back with beers and a pack of smokes. He grabbed one and pulled a cigarette when Jaime stopped him.

“Huh, sorry dude but we don’t smoke inside.“

Mickey wanted to say something scathing but Mandy took him by his arm and dragged him outside. “I have to show him the pool anyway“.

Once they were outside, Mickey lit his smoke and could feel himself relax instantly. He gave one to Mandy but she refused it.

“I quit, Jaime hates it.“ She said.

Mickey looked at his sister, eyebrows furrowed but still not ready to kill the mood so he just shut up. For fuck’s sake he was here for an hour now, and he already needed to behave.

“So what do you think about them?“ She asked.

“They seem ok. As long as they don’t want me to stop smoking.“

Mandy laughed and slightly pinched his arm. “As if it was possible, asswipe.“

“This place is really amazing though, and the pool… Fuck this is huge.“ Mickey took a deep drag, obviously impressed.

“Yeah I know, I’m still not used to it.“

“That’s because you’re a Southside bitch. We didn’t get to see that kind of house very often.“

They were both silent and Mickey loved how he could enjoy a moment with his sister, no chitchat involved. Again a few people were capable of that. Ian was able to do that, among a lot of other things. _You can’t stop thinking about that huh?_ Fuck, the inner voice again. Mickey wanted to toss his cigarette away but there was no ashtray.

“ Just dump it on the grass, no one will know. Come on let’s go inside.“ She said as she grabbed her arm, leading him inside.

Everybody was in the living room, talking and drinking. Ian was there as well, even more beautiful than this morning. He just went out of the shower and his hair was damp. How can he be so hot in sweat pants, Mickey thought and shook his head to get the idea out of him. He took the only spot available next to Kate, and Mandy sat on Jaime’s lap.

“So how did you meet Mandy?“ Tony asked Ian.

“We used to be in high school together.“ Ian said. Mickey was trying to catch his eyes, but for some reason, he was avoiding Mickey’s eyes.

“You used to date, I’m sure.“ Kate looked at them, all-smiling and Ian blushed, finally looking up at Mickey.

“Not exactly. Let’s just say that I was covering for him.“ Mandy said

“What is that supposed to mean?” Mickey asked, a little bit confused.

Mandy looked at Ian, she didn’t know what to say because she was kind of scared of her brother’s reaction.

“That’s okay, he knows.“ Ian told her because he knew what she was thinking.

“Mandy and I pretended to be together, so I didn’t get fagbashed. We lived in a fucked up neighborhood.“

“Jesus Christ.“ said Kyle.

“Yeah well, things turned out well, I got out and she ended up with my brother for a while.“

“WHAT?“ Mickey and Jaime choked on their beers, and made everyone laugh.

“You didn’t tell me that.“ Jaime said to Mandy as he squeezed her thigh. The poor Milkovich girl was red tomato.

“It was nothing, just a high school crush, nothing more.“

“Can’t believe you dated that asswipe.“ Mickey blurted out, still trying to recover from the surprise.

“Hey, watch out, you’re talking about my brother here.“ Ian said, obviously annoyed.

The boys looked at each other, and the mood quickly switched from cool to tense. Mandy was having none of that, so she changed the subject.

“I’m starving, anyone up for pizza bagels?“ She said.

“I’ll help you.“ Kate said. Kelly followed them into the kitchen.

The guys were alone now and it was uncomfortable. Mickey couldn’t stop staring at Kyle as if he was some kind of murderer, and Ian stared at Mickey, clearly upset. Mickey couldn’t handle the tension any longer. He took his smokes and his beer, and went outside without a word.

He lit up his cigarette and sat on one of the lounger enjoying the quiet but of course Ian joined him only seconds after, ruining the moment for him. Gallagher sat next to him and stared for a while before opening his mouth.

“Gonna tell me what’s up your ass?“ The redhead asked.

“Fuck off, man.“

“Oh come on, Mick, don’t be a prick. If you’re worried about what I could say to Mandy, you can relax. I won’t.“

“You better, or **I** ’ll give you a fagbash.“

Ian sighed and stood up, ready to get into the house.

“ Wait!” Mickey said. Ian turned around and crossed his arms, waiting for the older boy to come up with something.

“If we have to spend an entire week here, I’ll try to behave with these assholes. Just … don’t fuck around with the brother when I’m here.“

“How do you even-“ Ian was so surprised, he didn’t even know what to say.

“I heard you earlier. No big deal.“

Mickey looked around, just to be sure no one was watching and tossed his cigarette behind him.

He started walking when Ian grabbed his arm, and whispered in his ear:

“Don’t worry about Kyle, he’s not the one I want to mess around with.” The bastard was wearing his fucking shit-eating grin. Mickey wasn’t sure if he wanted to slap him or kiss him.

“ Yeah well, hold your horses. I need to talk to Mandy and even if I do, I’m not sure how she’s gonna take it. So keep your hands off.“

“Oh, I’ll find a way not to, I can promise that.“ Ian deliberately put his hand on Mickey's back, and squeezed his waist a little, eyes filled with lust and frustration.

…..

Later in the evening, Ian and Mandy were sitting on the loungers near the pool. Mickey was playing video games with Tony, and the others went back to the beach party. Ian was glad he had finally a moment with Mandy alone, since the girls and Jaime seemed to always be all over her.

“Still can’t believe you carpooled with my brother.” She was rolling a joint with the weed Ian brought and he could tell already that they were going to be stoned as hell: she was putting way to much in it but he didn't say anything.

“Yeah fucking coincidence if you ask me. He’s not bad.“ Ian said.

Mandy had finished rolling now, and so she lit the joint and took a long drag. She exhaled slowly as she rose an eyebrow at him. “It’s okay to say he’s an asshole.“

Ian chuckled and took the stick from Mandy’s hand.

“So … how’s everyone?“ she said awkwardly. She didn’t want to ask directly about Lip so Ian played along but he knew her too well.

“Everyone’s fine. Fiona works at a coffee shop and at the club, Carl … well is Carl. Debbie is in high school now, you should see her, she’s beautiful and very smart, I'm very proud of her! And Lip finished college two months ago.“

“How is he?“ Mandy bit his lower lip and Ian wondered how he didn’t see straight away that Mickey was her brother.

“He’s fine. More than fine actually. One of his teachers offered him a job in a robotic lab. Wants to build a real C3PO or something… Told me to say hi.” Ian lied but he knew it would please her.

“Really? That’s odd.“ she whispered.

Ian looked at her questioningly.

“I saw him, not so long ago. I was working at Jaime’s parents shop and he just… Pretended he didn’t see me. Not that I care.” Mandy took back the joint Ian was handing.

“I wish I could tell I‘m sorry for what I’ve done. But I’m not. I just wish it didn’t cost me so much though“.

“I think he misses you.“ Ian finally said because even if Lip didn't say it out loud, he could see right through his brother and his bullshit.

Watching Mandy that uncomfortable was really weird for him; you don’t get to see an embarrassed Milkovich every day. Mandy sighed and laid on the lounger, thoughts running a mile a minute.

“Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy with Jaime. He takes good care of me, found me a job, he loves me. But sometimes … I just wondered what might have happened if Karen never came back. If I decided to follow Lip to college. What we had… I felt like it was special.“ She chuckled a little and ran her hand through her hair, keeping silent for a moment before saying "I'm wasted, just forget it."

  
Ian stood up and went to Mandy’s lounger to lie down next to her, hugging her. He didn’t know what to say, and frankly, all Mandy wanted was a hug, not a lecture or anything. She just needed her best friend.

“Yo Mandy, I’m gonna crash!“ Mickey shouted from the house.

“Night asshole!“ she shouted back as she smiled at Ian who was grimacing since he had just lost the ability to hear properly. She heard Mickey mumble something from afar, but she didn’t care; she tightened her grip on Ian, and quickly fell asleep.

….

Mickey was smoking at the window, and he was so high, he was laughing to himself. He remembered the lame lines he gave Ian on the road, like “Yeah… what about you, Gallagher? How do you like ‘em?“.

He couldn’t get the fucking redhead out of his mind.  _When did you become such a pussy, huh_ the voice in his head was laughing loudly at him, and he hated it. He tossed his joint through the window when someone knocked at his door.

 

Ian was leaning against the doorframe, a grin on his face, and sparkles in his green eyes. Fucking puppy eyes.

“What do you want?“ Mickey groaned as he rolled his eyes.

Ian didn’t say anything but went in as he was invited, a big smile plastered on his face. He let himself fall on the bed and looked around.

“It’s like Mandy chose the bedroom based on our personality.“ He said.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?“ Mickey was in no mood to play.

“I don’t know. Mine is just like me I guess and yours … Well, it’s dark but pretty nice.

“You’re wasted.“ Mickey said with his arms crossed on his chest. He was trying no to smile but Ian was high and fucking adorable.

“I knoooow!“

“Why don’t you go to bed, huh? Or annoy someone else with your bedroom thoughts?“

Ian got up and went close to Mickey, leaving only a few inches between them.

“I was kind of hoping you’d let me stay…“

“I don’t think so.“

Mickey was heading to the door, ready to open it when Ian stopped him. He grabbed his wrist and pulled the older man against the wall.

“Maybe we don’t get to sleep, and I’ll sneak into my room later then.“

Mickey’s throat went dry imediately. He didn’t know what to say nor do, but he didn’t want Ian to leave. He could smell the redhead soap all over his skin. He could see all the freckles spread across his cheeks, feel Ian’s strong arms holding onto him. Mickey was not a kisser, never had been, but there was something about Ian. When the redhead looked into his eyes, Mickey felt like he was special or something. He wanted to say stupid things, do stupid shit. He wanted to go downstairs and wait for Kyle to come back just to kiss Ian hard and show Jaime’s brother that Ian was his. He had never met someone as beautiful and sweet and nice as Ian. He felt so relax around him, he didn’t even make any sense. Ian was still staring at him, waiting for the older boy to accept his offer. He was about to let go when Mickey put his hand on his waist and said:

“Just … lock the door.“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to say THANK YOU for all the kudos and the comments, makes me want to write more and more! You guys are awesome :)


	5. bad decisions got me here (sunday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah I'm just having too much fun with this.

The next morning, when Mickey woke up, Ian was gone. He took him a few seconds to realize where he was. Right, Hamptons, Mandy, beach house. He sat on the edge of the bed, relieved that Ian had the common sense to leave before anyone would wake up. The mere thought of Mandy barging into his bedroom to find them together was appalling. But he was also a bit disappointed. Waking up next to Ian would have been nice. _Wait, what? Gather your shit Milkovich, you met the guy like two days ago_. Great, the inner voice was back. Mickey looked around to find his boxers and got dressed because he was starving. When he went downstairs, Mandy was laying on one of the lounger, sunbathing in a tiny, tiny black bikini. No one else seemed to be in the house. He took a mug, poured himself some coffee, and went through the kitchen cupboards to find something to eat. He smiled when he found a huge box of snickers bars. Mandy definitely missed him. He took his breakfast with him, along with a pack of smokes and went outside. Mandy was listening to her iPod and didn’t see him coming, so she totally freaked out when he sat on her lounger.

 

“Fuckhead! You scared the shit out of me“

 

Mickey didn’t reply, and took a bite of his snickers bar instead, giving her a devilish grin.

 

“Seriously, there’s like four loungers, get your own“ she kicked him in the back to make him move. He didn’t.

 

“Where is everyone?” Mickey asked

 

“The beach.“ Mandy looked so bothered Mickey wanted to laugh but figured it wasn’t the time. So he just raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to elaborate. She sighed and put her sunglasses on, obviously annoyed.

 

“When I went to bed last night, Jaime was a bit drunk and wanted to talk about Lip. We had a fight and I was still upset this morning so he just left with the others. He knows I can’t deal with his shit right now.“

 

Mickey nodded, because he knew exactly what she meant. Milkoviches don’t talk much, don’t talk about feelings and **hell** , don’t talk about the past. He felt something weird about his sister. She never mentioned Lip before, Mickey didn’t even know they dated for a while. But for some reason, the Gallagher brother seemed like an elephant in a china’s store when it comes to Mandy. She had this sad face she used to make when she was a little girl and the glasses didn’t work that well. Mickey didn’t want to push her or anything but he was clearly intrigued. He looked at his sister suspiciously, as if he was trying to read into her.

 

“Stop staring, fucker“ she said, eyes still closed under the tinted glasses.

 

“Hey guys! What’s up?“

 

Mickey turned back to see Ian coming toward them. The younger boy was shirtless, wearing black sweatpants. He was unplugging his iPod and holding a bottle of water in his hands. Mickey tried to keep a straight face, but seriously how could it be possible with that vision? Ian’s sweatpants fell perfectly on his hips, and his face was flushed. Drops of sweats were running down his perfect chest, and Mickey was afraid to drool. He looked away and tried to find something sarcastic to say. Nothing came up. Thank god Mandy was here.

 

“Jesus Ian, why are you gay? Sometimes, I wish you weren’t. I mean look at you“

 

Ian smiled at her and put a small peck on his hair, eyes never leaving Mickey.

 

“Seriously, nobody should be that hot after a run!“

 

“Alright, alright. But think about it this way: we probably wouldn’t be friends if I were straight.“

 

“What time did you get up anyway? You were already gone when I woke up.“ Mandy asked.

 

“7.“

 

“You woke up at seven in the fucking morning to go for a run?“ That was the first thing Mickey said to him. He was sure he hadn’t passed out before 3 a.m, and Ian was still in his bed.

 

“Had to take my meds. 7.30 sharp, every morning.”

 

Mickey nodded and Mandy looked at them, stunned that the information seemed to pass by so easily. Ian caught that and just blurted out a little “he knows“

 

“Well fuck me! I know this was a long ride, but you two totally hit it off. I mean last night you tell me he knows you’re gay, and now he knows all about your meds. Again, fuck me.“

 

“Like you said, long ride“ Mickey stood up, eager to escape these two. At the train things were going, he would have to tell Mandy other things within minutes.

 

“I’m gonna hit the pool. Mands?“ Ian said, clearly as uncomfortable as Mickey was.

 

“Nah, take Mickey.“

 

Mickey looked up and saw Ian staring at him, with a mischievous smile on his face that clearly said _oh I did_ and Mickey flipped him the bird. He pinched Mandy for good measure and went into the house to drop his mug. He took another snickers bar and went back outside to smoke. Ian quickly joined him.

 

“So how was your night?“ Ian said

 

Mickey rolled his eyes and didn’t even answer.

 

“ Oh come on Mick. Mandy’s at the other side of the pool and she is not even listening.“

 

“Fuck off firecrotch, we are not talking about this.“

 

Ian held his hand in the air in resignation. “Alright, as you wish“

 

Mickey watched as Ian was going upstairs, probably to get his swimsuit since the fucker wanted to try the pool. He was exhausted and just wanted to lie down on one of the loungers, but there was no way he was going to watch Ian get into the pool. Even if they spent the night together, Mickey felt frustrated like he didn’t have enough. He decided to resume last night videogame and crashed on the couch. He took the controller and started the game, hoping that he could escape his own thoughts. Unfortunately, the game took like forever to start and he couldn’t stop having flashes of what happened the previous night

 

**…**

 

“If we’re gonna do this, we’re gonna do it my way“ Mickey said

 

Ian didn’t say anything, just nodded and let go of Mickey’s wrist. He put his hands on the older boy’s arms, squeezing them a little. Mickey still had his hands on Ian’s waist and he was having a hard time organizing his thoughts. The redhead only had to touch him to make Mickey feeble. Ian extracted him from his moment of absence.

 

“Okay, what about these rules then“ he slowly started touching Mickey under his clothes, sensing that the older boy couldn’t stand the slow pace. He lingered on purpose, letting his hands slowly going down from Mickey’s neck to the small of his back, then let his flat hands rest on his stomach, gently caressing with one of his thumbs the trail of hairs under his belly button.

 

“Urgh… No hickeys, no noises, no fucking kissing“

 

“Really?“ Ian whined a little and came closer to Mickey so their bodies were touching. Somehow his hands landed on Mickey’s thighs.

 

“Really“

 

Ian furrowed his eyebrows, and pouted but Mickey was dead serious. Finally, he surrendered.

 

“Your loss…“

…

Ian let go of his sweatpants and went to his duffle bag to get his swimsuit. For some reason, he was hoping that Mickey would follow him into his room to get some action but after a moment, he gave in. Mickey would never do that. He made it clear last night that this was only a casual thing. The “no kissing” thing didn’t upset Ian that much at first but now that he was sober, he kinda regretted not standing up to this stupid rule. Because **GOD** he wanted badly to kiss Mickey. Every time he would bite his lower lips, or run his thumb across it, it drove Ian crazy. Such small things shouldn’t make him weak, but it did. _You’re crazy dude_ , Ian thought to himself. This was just hard because he hadn’t had sex for a long time until Mickey showed up. All of this was just a normal reaction caused by a too long period of abstinence.

 

But then he remembered how he felt when Mickey took his own tee shirt off, right before taking off his. The way he looked at him, with his _way too intense_ blue eyes right before pushing him on the bed. The way he straddled him, and put wet kisses on his neck.

It’s not like Ian had no expertise in the area, but sex with Mickey was different. It was overwhelming, much more than anything he had ever experienced. He could feel his skin burn under his touch and his heart racing two hundred miles a minute.

 

SHIT. He was so screwed.

 

Ian shook his head, put his swimsuit on and left the room, hoping that soon, all of this wouldn’t have to be just memories.

 

**….**

 

Mandy was quietly singing, along with the music playing on her iPod, when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She opened her eyes and took of her sunglasses, to see that Jaime was in front of her.

 

 _Great, round two_ , she thought. She took off the earphones.

 

“Hey, there” he said

 

“Hi“

 

“We went by the grocery store to grab some more beers. Your brother is a heavy drinker“

 

“Yeah, always has been.“

 

 _This is not awkward at all,_ she thought. They were silent for a moment until Jaime broke.

 

“Look I am sorry about last night. I should have never pushed you so far“

 

Mandy sat on the lounger, expecting more of her boyfriend. Jaime saw that and sighed.

 

“It’s just… the look on your face when Ian talked about his brother… you blushed. You never blush Mands! Not when it comes to a guy. Obviously, this was important and you never mentioned him. I thought that… After all this time, you could tell me about these things.“

 

Mandy was a Milkovich but she wasn’t heartless, far from that. The look of pain on her boyfriend’s face made her feel guilty. She grabbed one of his hands, forcing him to sit on the lounger.

 

“Of course we can talk about this shit. It’s just that … It happened so long ago, he doesn’t mean anything anymore“

 

“But-“

 

“Listen to me. It doesn’t mean anything. We’re together. Just let it go“ she smiled at him, squeezed his hand and she could feel him relax under her touch.

 

“Okay… I love you.“

 

“I love you too, dickhead“

 

Jaime smiled fondly at her and got closer, only to put a gentle peck on her lips. She deepened the kiss, to put a final note to all the drama.

 

When she let go of him, she turned her head to see that the others were in the pool, ready to start a ball game.

 

“Wanna join them?“ She said

 

Jaime smiled devilishly at her and said “definitely”. Without any warning he grabbed her and ran toward the pool to throw her in. she tried to fight back but it was hopeless, Jaime was way to strong. He followed her seconds after and they all gathered to make teams.

 

 _This is perfect_ she thought.

 

….

 

Mickey heard the others having fun in the pool and bit his bottom lip. It was kind of stupid to spend the day inside when he could be outside having fun and enjoying the weather. _I’m gonna need some pot though_. He shut off the game, and went to his room to put his swimsuit, grabbed a towel and his weed. He went to the kitchen to grab a beer as well, and realized that maybe it was a little rude not to propose to the others. He went outside and shouted, “Someone wants a beer?”

 

“Just bring the pack, Mickey“ replied Jaime.

 

He did as he was told, and settled at the table under the pergola to roll his joint. He could feel that someone was watching and he didn’t pay attention on purpose. Someone was getting out of the pool, and coming towards him. His grin disappeared when he realized it wasn’t who he expected it to be.

 

“Will you let me smoke?“ Kate said.

 

“Sure“ he licked the sticking strip of the leaf to finish rolling and lit up his stick.

 

“Soooo, Mickey, tell me something about you“

 

“Not much to say, really“ he didn’t want to be unpleasant, but chitchat was never his thing.

 

“Oh come one, Mandy said you work at a restaurant. Do you like it?“

 

“Not really.“

 

“I had a terrible experience as a waitress few years ago. Never want to do that again“

 

 _Not like you need the money bitch_ , Mickey thought. Instead he gave her the fakest smile ever. Thank god he was getting high.

 

“Can you open my beer, please?“ Kate said, with a seductive tone.

 

 _Oh my god, she’s trying to get me in the sack_ , he thought.

 

He took the beer in her hands, and opened it with his teeth. Kate seemed quite impressed, ready to make a smooth comment when Mandy came along.

 

“Open one for me, asswipe.“ she said.

 

“Yeah me too“ said a now-familiar voice.

 

Mickey looked behind Mandy to see that Ian got out of the pool as well, Kyle on his heels. He felt a wave of anger inside, and gritted his teeth. He had to tell Mandy about him being gay, so he could kick Kyle’s ass. _When the hell did you become such a possessive fucker_? He thought to himself.

 

Everyone was now out of the water, taking seats around the table. Tony sat next to Mickey and Mickey was glad for it. Tony was cool, not much of the talker either. They had a cool time the previous night, playing videos games and drinking beers. Right now, he was his alibi not to speak to Kate. He started a conversation about cars, and Kate quickly gave up. _Thank god_ , Mickey thought. They all drank their beers, chatting and laughing and Mickey had to admit he was having a great time. All he had to do was not looking at Ian, who sat between Kyle and Mandy. They were talking about having a party at the house. Apparently they had made friends the night before at the beach party and wanted to do something at the house.

 

“Sounds like a good idea. What do you think, babe?“ Mandy said

 

“Yeah sure. Let’s do this tonight! Jared and Kelly are leaving tomorrow. It would be nice to do something fun before they go.“ Jaime said.

 

“Why do you have to leave?“ Ian said

 

Kelly, who was sitting on Jared’s lap was the one to answer.

 

“My sister’s getting married. Cannot miss that“ she said.

 

“I guess we’ll need to go get more alcohol then.“ Mandy said, all smily.

 


	6. Can you be even more confusing? (sunday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't believe I already wrote 6 chapters... Enjoy :)

Mandy was in her room, getting ready to go get things they needed for the party when Mickey came in.

 

“You want me to give you some cash for the groceries or-“

 

“Keep your money, dumbass.“ Mandy replied

 

“You sure? I don’t want your fancy friends to think I’m being spoiled here“

 

“Fuck ‘em if that’s what they think. You are my brother, you ain’t paying anything.“

 

“Fine by me“

 

Mandy took her purse and went out of her bedroom, Mickey on his heels.

 

“Wanna come with us? We have to get to the store and we’ll probably grab a bite in town“

 

“I think I’m gonna stay here, enjoy the pool while all you fuckheads are gone.“

 

“Alright. See ya later.“

 

When Mickey went outside, he realized he really was alone in the house. Mandy, Jaime and Ian went to the store, and the others went to the beach to invite a few people they knew at the party. He lit a cigarette and looked at the house: he only realized now that there was an entire part he hadn’t explored yet. He finished his smoke and went in to snoop a little. He noticed the corridor near the kitchen and figured it led to the other part that he wanted to discover.

 

Mickey let escape a whistle, “Holy shit” he thought.

 

At the end of the corridor, there was a huge living room with a projection screen so big it took the entire wall. An enormous black U-shaped couch was placed in front of the screen and of course, there was a mini bar next to the door window. On the left side of the room, a small wooden stairway was leading upstairs, probably to the others bedroom. On the right side of the room, Mickey noticed the many shelves full with dvds and decided to watch something. He took him some time to figure out what, since he wasn’t going to watch “A walk to remember” or “The Notebook” or “Dear John”. What the fuck was wrong with these people and Nicholas Sparks?

Mickey began to feel bored when, FINALLY, he found something: “Under Siege” was there, casually put between “Catch me if you can” and “Double Impact“

 

“Yeah, well fuck Van Damme” he said at loud.

 

He put the dvd in the dvd player, and went to the mini bar to have a drink. It was like the bottle of Jack Daniels was expecting him. He could definitely get used to all that. He generously filled his drink and sat on the couch, feet settled on the coffee table. The credits began and he remembered the conversation he had with Ian when they played the stupid 20 questions game. He felt like so much had happened since he picked up the redhead at the train station, it felt insane. But If he had to be honest with himself, Ian was pretty much everything he could think about. Maybe it was because they were both South Side but Ian seemed to see right through Mickey and all his bullshit. He didn’t back down when Mickey was aggressive, didn’t even flinch when he had harsh words against him. He just smiled at him, with this look on his face that seemed to say “Yeah right. Ain’t fooling me dude”. The music from the beginning of the movie took Mickey back on earth and he smiled like a loon at the screen, mind filled with freckles and green eyes.

 

…

 

“Ian come on, we don’t have the entire fucking day!” Mandy was shouting through the store and everyone was looking at her. _Uptight fuckers_ , she thought.

 

Ian didn’t hear Mandy, he was lost in his thoughts. He was wandering through the shop alleys, pushing the shopping cart, filled with food and alcohol by Mandy. _I wonder why he didn’t come. Maybe he doesn’t want to be with Mandy and me_. Truth is, Mickey was trying to avoid being with Ian and Mandy because he felt awkward. Ian noticed that, but really he could only blame himself. He kept glancing at Mickey shamelessly, staring at his body as if the Milkovich boy was a candy or something. It’s not that Mickey didn’t like it, but his sister was pretty instinctive. It was a blessing she didn’t notice anything yet.

 

“IAN!” Mandy shouted

 

“Yeah, Yeah I’m here”

 

Ian scampered toward Mandy and went to the cashier. They put the groceries in bags and left for the parking lot.

 

They put the bags into Jaime’s truck, not saying a word to one another and got in the car, waiting for Mandy’s boyfriend. He had gone to the Thai restaurant to buy diner. But ordering and getting served for 8 people could take a while. Mandy was the one who broke the silence.

 

“What’s up with you? You seem… distracted.” She said

 

“Nothing, don’t worry about it“ Ian ran a hand through his hair, clearly embarrassed.

 

“Okay, now I’m worried. What’s wrong?” she put her hand on his right thigh and squeezed it gently.

 

Ian sighed, and put his hand on hers, giving her a small smile.

 

“I… I met someone” he said

 

“WHAAAT?” she let go of his hand and punched him in the shoulder. “You’re telling me this now? You little bastard! Who is he?” Mandy was jiggling in her seat with excitation.

 

“It’s nothing really, it’s just that…. I don’t know.”

 

“Dude, tell me he’s not one of those geriatric viagroids you used to fuck. I told you, stop that shit man.”

 

Ian chuckled because “geriatric viagroids” could totally be something Mickey would say.

 

“No he’s about my age, it’s not that. But, Jesus Mands. How can you tell when a guy likes you?”

 

“You like him?” she was squeaking now.

 

“Yeah but I think he hates me”

 

“Well ask him” she said, rolling her eyes at him

 

“Doesn’t want to talk about it”

 

“No guy ever does”

 

“Well thanks that’s helpful” Ian looked away, hoping that Jaime would be here soon. This conversation was heading nowhere.

 

“Ian, look at me. If you really want me to give some advice, you’re gonna have to tell me a little bit more about the guy. When did you meet? Where? What happened so far?”

 

Ian swallowed hard and finally looked at Mandy. He didn’t want to lie to her, but he was not the one outing Mickey, that was for sure.

 

“We met in Chicago, not long ago” Well, this was true. “We hooked up a couple of times but, I don’t know. From what I get, he’s not the relationship kind, nor the kisser for that matter… But when we’re together, I feel like there’s something. You can’t just fake that…God this is so frustrating”

 

“So I assume you didn’t have the “what you want” conversation then.“

 

“Nope. Not even close”

 

Mandy crossed her arms on her chest, and got this look, like she’s really trying to focus and come out with something.

 

“Well, as long as you’re here, you can’t do squat, so just… relax, don’t text him too much and ask for a proper date when you get home. Make your needs known, you know. Show him how great you are. And if he’s stupid enough to let you go, then he’ll be one sorry ass.”

 

“Yeah, right.” Ian looked down at his knees, not really wanting to cross Mandy’s eyes.

 

She was about to say something when Jaime opened the driver’s door and hopped in.

 

“Sorry guys this took forever. Ready to go?”

 

“Yep. All set.” Ian replied.

 

On the drive home, Mandy wanted to catch Ian’s eyes but he looked through the window the entire ride on purpose. He was glad he didn’t have to say much, but he still felt bad about not telling the entire truth.

 

….

 

“How many people did you invite anyway?“ Mickey looked around and felt like there were at least 50 people gathered around the pool. They were drinking, laughing, making booze games (he was even pretty sure he saw a truth or dare going on over there). The music was loud, and bad if you asked Mickey, but nothing a few drinks couldn’t fix.

 

“I don’t know man” said Tony. “We invited like ten people, and we just told them they could bring friends.”

 

“Yeah well it’s a lot of friends. Hope you guys locked the bedroom doors!”

 

Mickey turned around to see Kyle coming closer. _Great_ , he thought, _now I also have to put up with this asshole_. Kyle was wearing white linen pants, with no shirt on. Mickey had to admit that the fucker was not bad though. He was taller than Mickey, with sandy hair and brown chocolate eyes. He clearly worked out and the summer in the Hamptons had given him a nice tan. _Not my type anyways_ , Mickey thought. _Maybe not yours, but_ … said the inner voice. _Fuck_. What if Kyle’s little masquerade did something for Ian? The fucker was clearly interested in the redhead and all Mickey had done so far was emitting contradictory signals. He finished his drink in one sip and declared he needed a refill. He went to the bar to grab the bottle of jack, wondering what would happen if he accidently drown Kyle in the pool.

 

“How’s your day going so far?”

 

“How’s my fucking day going? You gotta-“

 

When Mickey turned around to look at Ian, he felt like his heart had missed a beat. Ian was looking at him with a smirk on his face, wearing only black. He was gorgeous. Mickey quickly gathered his shit, and turned back to finish mixing his drink.

 

“Dig the look, man, suits you” he said

 

“Oh yeah? Well, I thought I could make a little effort tonight.” Ian was grinning hard at him. “What do you drink?”

 

“Whiskey and orange juice.”

 

“Really? That sounds awful.”

 

“Hey don’t judge until you have a taste man. Here, try.”

 

Mickey handed him is drink, and **no** , he didn’t flinch when their hands touched. Ian took a sip, looking Mickey right into his eyes. He went a little closer, too close for Mickey’s taste so he put his hand on Ian’s chest to make him back down.

 

“Hey, hey, what you think you doing?”

 

“Nothing, I’m just-“

 

“Don’t. Jesus, stop the faggy show and just play it cool, man” Mickey regretted his words the minute he said them, they came out way more harsh than what he expected.

 

“Depends. Can you stop being a fucking dick for a minute?” Ian tried to show a straight face, but Mickey’s words hurt him anyway.

 

“Why don’t you enjoy your little party, and let me enjoy mine instead, huh”

 

“Alright. I didn’t come here for you anyway.” Ian turned away, and he quickly spotted Mandy talking with a bunch of girls. He went straight ahead, not even looking back once.

 

Mickey was left alone at the bar, biting his lower lip. He knew he was acting strange but what in hell was he supposed to do? He had never done the all flirting thing and every move Ian was making screamed “they had sex” for him. It was like there was a banner over their heads and he didn’t like it. He took his drink to go outside, determined to find something, anything to get Ian out of his mind. He touched his back pocket and felt the weed bag he put there earlier, hoping that this would be one of the many things that would help him in the process.

 

Too bad for Mickey, Kyle did not leave Ian’s side the whole night, and Mickey had to watch. He noticed when Kyle whispered something into Ian’s ear, making him laugh so hard he had to grab his sides. He felt his entire body tense when he saw Kyle touching Ian’s arm subversively. Every time he would spot something, he could feel his anger growing stronger and something else building up. Jealousy maybe? Well not if you asked him…

 

At some point, Ian and Kyle disappeared for a while, of course no one seemed to notice except Mickey. If South side people had been there, they could have told Ian that the only thing more dangerous than a Milkovich is a drunk Milkovich. The party was slowly dying, a lot of people had left already and Mickey was stuck in a conversation with Kate and Jaime about college. It didn’t calm him a bit to see Ian and Kyle coming back after what seemed like forever.

 

“I’m gonna go crash I’m wasted” he said. He couldn’t bear another minute of all this.

 

“You sure? We wanted to watch a movie after everyone’s gone” Kate said. She was drunk as well, and all over Mickey. She batted her eyelashes at him, and Mickey just thought that she was ridiculous.

 

“Yeah I’m sure.” He flipped off his smoke and shouted to the others “Night guys”

 

Nobody answered, too much caught up in their talks and getting deaf by the volume of the sound system. When he looked behind, his eyes were caught with big, cold green eyes. Mickey shivered, because Ian was still clearly mad. When he got into his room, he sat on his bed and wondered where he screwed up. If only he hadn’t had this stupid carpool idea, none of his would have ever happened. Yeah sure he would have met Ian anyways but in different circumstances. Somehow it struck him that he was screwed way before they made it to the Hamptons.

 

…

 

Two hours after Mickey had left the party, people finally were all gone. The girls were trying to clean the pergola a little while the guys were refilling drinks and ready to catch a movie in the projection room. Ian was definitely not up for a movie. He had a lot to drink and he just wanted to sleep. He didn’t want to think about that, but over the past two days, he had much more alcohol than what he was allowed to. If one of his siblings were there, he’d have a hard time explaining the drinking game he had participated in a few hours earlier. He felt giddy and exhausted, but also very tense and upset. He wished everyone good night, and went upstairs to crash.

 

Mickey couldn’t sleep. He was lying on his bed in his boxers, smoking a joint with the window wide open and a beer can as an ashtray. When he heard the footsteps in the corridor, he jumped off his bed and unlocked the door.

 

“Had a good time firecrotch?”

 

Ian looked at him and rolled his eyes. “Not in the mood”

 

“I didn’t even do anything… yet” Mickey’s inner voice loudly laughed at him _trying to be smooth here Milkovich?_

 

“Go to sleep” Ian replied.

 

Mickey saw, now that Ian was in front of him, that something was wrong with the redhead. He had crazy eyes and his hands were a little bit shaky. The older boy stepped out of his doorframe and put a hand on Ian’s arm.

 

“Hey, you ok man?”

 

Ian didn’t answer and went to bathroom without a word. Mickey was no one’s bitch, it wasn’t like him to wait up for Ian to show up again, but he was worried. He waited for about 10 minutes, when Ian finally got out of the bathroom with a towel hung on his hips. Ian sighed as he saw Mickey and headed straight to his bedroom but Mickey was fast. He settled in front of the doorknob, blocking the entrance.

 

“Seriously dude, what’s up with you.”

 

Ian gave him the silence treatment, but Mickey could be a real pain in the ass when he wanted.

 

“I should be the angry one, and yet here you are, acting like a girl”

 

“Why on earth should you be angry, huh? I didn’t do anything.”

 

Mickey bit his lower and ran a hand through his hair, sensing that he was about to make things worse.

 

“I told you not to mess around with the brother when I’m here.”

 

Ian looked at the man in front him, eyes wide open, processing the information because he had no idea where this came from. His surprise was soon replaced but a wave of anger beyond imagination. He forcefully pushed Mickey away from the door.

 

“What the fuck, Gallagher?” Mickey almost hit the floor, he was off guard and didn’t see Ian’s move coming.

 

“You know what Mick? Fuck off” Ian slammed the door and fell on his bed, wondering how the mood between he and Mickey could have possibly changed that much within 24 hours. Regardless, he was done chasing Mickey. Done, done, DONE.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to say thanks again guys, because everytime I read one of your comments, I burst in joy ! I'm so glad you like it as much as I love writing this... love love love on all of your pretty faces.  
> ps: thank god someone created fan fiction, because i barely hold it together here, january is way too far!


	7. Just because someone stumbles, loses their way doesn't mean they're lost forever (monday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I realized I basically posted every day since I started this. School's gonna catch up with me soon so I won't be able to post as frequently (until then, maybe I should get a life ? naaah)
> 
> BUT since I love u guys, This chapter is the longest I wrote so far and I added a Gallavich video i don't own or anything but it's beautiful. Take the time to check this work (the author's tumblr will be given at the end) Thumbs up for the artist, because it's the greatest Gallavich vid I've seen so far :)

Youtube video [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbgHK0Z8guw), just to get you in the mood

* * *

 

 

The next morning, Ian woke up with the worst hangover he ever had. His head was about to explode and his entire body felt sore. He buried his head in his pillow, determined not to move until he felt better. Too bad Mandy had other plans for him. The knock on his bedroom door felt like an earthquake in his head.

 

“Come in“ he said, head still hidden from his guest.

 

“Hey sleepy head! It’s past noon, get your ass off of bed!“ Mandy jumped on the bed next to Ian, oblivious to the redhead’s state.

 

“Go away… “ Ian mumbled.

 

“Come on, Kate and Jared are living in a couple of hours, you gotta say bye, dickhead.”

 

Ian sighed, and finally turned over to face Mandy. The expression on her face drastically changed.

 

“Ian, you okay? You look like shit.“

 

“Thanks Mands.“

 

“No seriously, are you okay?“

 

Ian could see that Mandy was genuinely worried about him, and his mood softened a little. After all, she wasn’t the Milkovich he had trouble with, right?

 

“I’m fine. I think I just gone a little wild with the booze lately.”

 

“You mean, with your meds?” she got closer to her best friend, resting her head on his chest.

 

“Yeah… I think I should call my doc, just in case.“

 

Mandy looked up at him, with an unreadable expression that always broke Ian’s heart. Beside his family, nobody cared about him more than Mandy. He could feel the stress and the angst radiating from her.

 

“Don’t worry, Mands. I just need to slow down a bit. No big deal” he gave her an encouraging smile and a tap on the back to reassure her.

 

“Alright, If you say so. I have to go downstairs, I promised Mickey I’ll cook for him and he’s like harassing me. Join us when you can?”

 

“Yeah, I’ll come down soon”

 

She put a kiss on his forehead and left the room without a word. Ian sighed loudly and put his hands behind his head. After a while, he grabbed his phone and called his doctor. Saying that the doc wasn’t pleased with what he heard would be an understatement. Ian was lectured for almost thirty minutes, until he promised that he would not have a drop of alcohol for at least 4 days. Deep down, he already knew all that but being here, spending time with Mandy got him so excited, he couldn’t help it. And if you add Mickey and Kyle to the equation, well this was too much. He needed to stabilize his mood because this week was already creating too much tension by itself.

 

After the phone call, he got dressed and went downstairs to say goodbye to Jared and Kelly but also with two missions. First, he needed to apologize to Mickey for what had happened the night before, but he also had to talk to Kyle. Ian was far from being stupid and he knew that Kyle was attracted to him. The night before, they had a great time together: they talked about a million things and realized they had a lot in common. But Kyle wasn’t Mickey. Sure, he was nice, and had no problem whatsoever to talk but there was not spark. No butterflies in Ian’s stomach when he looked at him. The way he moved didn’t make Ian flinch. No definitely, Kyle wasn’t Mickey. Ian ran a hand through his hair and thought _Yeah well one thing at a time_.

 

…

 

When Mickey went downstairs to have breakfast around 11 a.m, he was glad to see that Ian wasn’t up yet. He didn’t want to deal with his crap, and definitely not that early in the morning. He mumbled a “ _good morning_ ” to Mandy, Kate and Jaime who were sitting under the pergola and settled down next to his sister. Kelly and Jared were upstairs packing and Tony and Kyle went for a run. _At least I don’t have to have breakfast in front of the dickhead_ , Mickey thought. He was still upset about last night and determined to avoid Kyle and Ian as long as possible. After Ian pushed him over last night, he decided that he didn’t need all this crap. He still had a few days to spend here, but the Hamptons were surely big enough for the three of them. Ian made it clear that he didn’t want to deal with him, so just be it. Soon enough, he would go back to his normal life, with no drama and no redhead. Still, his heart ached a little at the thought. Shit, when did he get so dramatic?

 

 

When Ian finally showed up, Mickey was relaxing in the pool, with a beer in his hand. He didn’t even respond to Ian’s nod and kept paddling in the water. Ian sat at the table with the others and put his head in his hands, clearly fighting against his hangover. Mickey wanted to play it indifferent but it was hard. He cared about Ian, even if he didn’t want to admit it. He was thinking about getting out of the pool and ask him if he needed anything when Kyle went around the table, wrapped his arm around Ian’s shoulders and asked him if he wanted aspirin. Ian accepted, apparently grateful, and put his head on the table. Mickey was fuming, cursing himself about his brand-new concern about the redhead. Apparently, Ian didn’t need his help.

 

Kelly and Jared left the house in the afternoon after saying goodbye to everyone. They promised to have a party at their place back in Chicago once everyone would be back. After they left, Mickey went to his room to have a nap, because he was still in the daze after last night. He was about to crash when Ian got in.

 

“You mind knocking?” Mickey said aggressively

 

“Sorry but I wasn’t sure you would let me in”

 

Mickey rolled his eyes and got up. He didn’t want to talk to Ian. He wanted to leave but Ian was in his way.

 

“Get the fuck out!” Mickey shouted. Ian looked at him, with this expression that made Mickey even angrier, that fucking expression that said “cut the crap”.

 

“I just wanted to say I’m sorry about yesterday. I shouldn’t have push-“

 

“I don’t care. Now get out of my way.”

 

Mickey walked around Ian and raced downstairs. Mandy and Jaime were making out on one of the loungers and Kyle was in the pool with Tony, playing with a ball. Great, his only choice was Kate, who was sunbathing. He knew Ian wouldn’t talk to him if there was someone else in the room. He just hoped he could rely on Mandy on this one. He settled for Kate anyway.

 

“Hey Kate, you wanna catch a movie or something?”

 

Kate took off her glasses, and looked at Mickey, eyes wide open. She quickly recovered from her surprise and got in the house.

 

“Yeah sure. Ever watched “the notebook”?

 

Mickey let his shoulders fall with exasperation and led the way to the projection room, only hoping that Kate wouldn’t try to make a move on him.

 

…

 

The afternoon went by nicely and Mickey was pretty much content with his plan: he managed to avoid Ian the entire day. Sure, Kate was a little bit annoying but she didn’t complain when Mickey chose to watch “the Expendables” and didn’t even talk during the projection. When the movie ended, Ian was nowhere to be found. Mandy told him after that he went for a run.

 

“You up for a party tonight?” she said

 

“AGAIN?”

 

“Yeah, there’s a bar at the beach that we like, I thought it would be nice.”

 

Mickey bit his lower lips: he wasn’t going to stay alone at the house, but going to a party would make avoiding Ian difficult.

 

“Yeah okay, whatever.”

 

So after dinner, everyone got together and left for the beach. Mickey decided to take his car to go there even if Mandy assured him it wasn’t too far.

 

“I don’t care. I haven’t driven for days, I want to. Besides I want to take a look at this fucking hipster town.”

 

Of course it was just a way to avoid Ian a little longer. He didn’t really want to drive that much. When he got in the car, he relaxed at the familiar atmosphere. He loved the black leather seats, the old car tape deck, the smell of cigarettes and cheap cologne. He drove by the main streets of the Hamptons, with their expensive shops and fancy restaurants. He stopped at a fast food to grab a bite and met the others at the bar Mandy talked about. He quickly spotted his sister’s table and joined them for a drink. There was a lot of people but the music was decent and the alcohol not too expensive (Maybe the reason Mandy liked the bar?).

 

He made a real effort not to be rude with Kyle and Kate, but Ian didn’t give him a hard time so it was okay. The redhead seemed out of space. He was sitting with the others sure, but Mickey could tell his mind was somewhere else. He didn’t drink, didn’t even talk and just smiled from time to time at Mandy, who gave her a sympathetic smile each time. Curiosity was eating Mickey alive. Obviously, his sister knew what was going on, when he was kept in the dark. Maybe an hour after Mickey got to the bar, Ian whispered something in Mandy’s ear, and left without a word. Mickey couldn’t stand it any longer. Once Ian was gone, Mickey asked his sister what was up with Gallagher.

 

“Said he wanted to walk. He’s still hangover I guess”

 

“Hangover my ass”

 

Mandy furrowed her eyebrows at her brother and didn’t reply.

 

“I’m gonna check on him.”

 

“Leave him alone Mick. He’s not in the mood!”

 

He just flipped the bird at her, and left the bar, only five minutes after Ian did.

 

…

 

Ian was sat on a hill of sand in front of the beach, his mind wandering. He didn’t even realize that Mickey was sitting next to him until the older boy spoke.

 

“What you thinking about firecrotch?”

 

Ian didn’t say anything at first, he was just looking at Mickey with his big puppy eyes.

 

“I thought you were avoiding me” he finally said.

 

“Yeah, well I changed my mind. What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing.”

 

Mickey furrowed one eyebrow, very Milkovich style, and waited for the rest of the story.

 

“Had my doctor on the phone. Seems like my new meds aren’t working well with too much alcohol.”

 

“No kidding” Mickey didn’t want to be sharp but the mood swings were obvious.

 

Ian sighed and brought his thighs next to his chest. He seemed so small and vulnerable in this position, Mickey felt all his anger against the redhead vanish. Ian put his chin on his knees and closed his eyes.

 

“I’m sorry about yesterday. I mean it” Ian said

 

“Yeah just drop it. Doesn’t matter” Mickey started to play with a stick, drawing things on the sand. He didn’t know what to say, and Ian kept being silent. It wasn’t awkward though, and it reminded Mickey that time in the diner where they just ate in silence, glancing at each others like horny teenagers.

 

“You draw?” Ian suddenly said

 

Mickey was taken aback, because he was just doodling in the sand absentmindedly.

 

“I used to. Wanted to be a tattoo artist”

 

Ian finally gazed up at Mickey, catching Mickey’s eyes for the first time since last night.

 

“Why aren’t you?” he said

 

“Because… I don’t know. You need to take some classes, that ain’t cheap man. And then you have to find a tattoo salon that accepts to take you as an apprentice. It’s a pain in the ass.”

 

“Yeah but you’d do something that you like. Believe me, that’s priceless.”

 

The boys remained silent for a while, before Mickey got up and dusted away the sand on his pants.

 

“Come on, Gallagher let’s go back to the house. Catch a movie or something.”

 

“That’s okay, Mick”

 

“Shut up. We ain’t gonna stay here all night and you can’t drink. We’re not going back with the others.”

 

Ian finally surrendered and stood up to follow Mickey back to his car. Mickey grabbed his phone in his pocket and texted Mandy he was leaving with Ian. They reached the car and got in quickly, making their way through the streets. Ian was glad to be back in the Impala, he felt like their road trip happened ages ago.

 

“I really like your car”

 

“Yeah me too man. First thing I bought after I left home.”

 

Ian didn’t give much thought about it but now that Mickey was mentioning it, it all came back to him. Mickey grew up in a house much worse than his, and being gay with his father had to be much harder than being Frank’s son. Mandy called their house “the Milkovich house of horrors.” He wanted badly to ask Mickey but things just got back to normal with the other man, and Ian was not ready to screw that up already. Surprisingly, Mickey started talking.

 

“I had a friend back then. She was a Russian whore, real pain in the ass if you ask me. Her name was Svetlana. She was the only one who knew about me. My father was her pimp. The day my father caught me with a guy, he beat the shit out of me, and forced us to bang to “get the faggot out of me”. Not much of a choice since he had a gun on my temple.”

 

Mickey had a sad chuckle and paused there, because he could feel the knot in his throat going bigger by the second. He never told anyone that story but he wanted to tell Ian. He needed to.

 

“Jesus, Mickey” Ian whispered. He wanted to grab Mickey’s hand and squeeze it hard. The look of pain on Mickey’s face was unbearable.

 

“Yeah, well it gets worse. Lana got pregnant and my father wanted us to get married. She came to my house to stand up to him, even though I told the bitch not to… when I got home that day, my father was with my uncle Joe, they were talking about how they would hide the body and … I just knew”

 

“He killed her??” Ian’s face went white, he was mortified.

 

Mickey nodded and sighed, hands shaking. He was determined to finish his story but fuck, that was hard for him. He couldn’t stop the image of Lana, smiling at him, and threatening to “cut his balls”. Beside Mandy, she was the only person in the world he cared about. She would always talk in Russian to get on his nerves. Now, he just wanted to punch people in the face when he heard them talking in Russian.

 

“What did you do?” Ian said

 

“I followed them. They got to the foundry where my uncle worked, probably to get rid of her teeth or something… And I called the cops.”

 

Ian couldn’t believe what he was hearing. This scenario was coming from a horror movie or something. Mickey was still shaky but telling Ian brought him some relief.

 

“What happened to them after that?”

 

“Both took a lifetime sentence. My father for murder and my uncle for aggravated complicity. That night, I went back home, took my stuff and left. Never looked back.” Mickey ran a hand across his face, and loudly sighed.

 

“Mandy doesn’t know, right?” Ian said

 

“Nope. After I left, I wanted to tell her but things were complicated and I knew she would be fine with my father locked up and all. Sent her money when I could, called her sometimes. I planned on going back for her, get her out of this shithole but she met Jaime and things changed, you know.”

 

Ian didn’t realize they were already at the house when Mickey pulled over. They got out and went straight to the pool to sit on the loungers. Mickey rolled a joint and they smoked quietly under the stars. It helped Mickey relax a little after his confession but he wasn’t quite there.

 

“I’m sorry Mick” Ian said out of the blue.

 

Mickey looked at him quizzically, not getting it.

 

“I’m sorry about your friend.” Ian looked at Mickey like no one had ever looked at him. It wasn’t pity, it was more like compassion and tenderness. Mickey jiggled on his lounger, and took back the joint from Ian’s hand.

 

“Sometimes, I wonder if I did right. Maybe I shouldn’t have called the cops on them. That was a pussy move. Milkoviches don’t do that shit. I should have handled things myself.”

 

“You kidding? You did the right thing! The only thing that could protect you and Mandy from your dad was jail.”

 

“Yeah, that’s what I keep telling myself. I just couldn’t have left Mandy behind if he hadn’t been in the joint.”

 

“Exactly.” Ian put his hand on Mickey’s shoulder and gave him a small smile, to reassure him. Mickey didn’t pull away, he let Ian’s hand rest on his shoulder. As much as he wanted to be a tough guy, he always felt like the weight of the world was on his shoulder. Maybe Ian could help him carry it for a while.

 

A couple of joints later, that Mickey mostly smoked by himself, they decided to go to bed. They went upstairs and said goodnight to each other, happy to be in good terms again. Mickey was lying on his bed, eyes wide open. He left Ian at his door an hour ago now but he couldn’t sleep. He was too high and waves of unfamiliar feelings were crashing inside him. He was overwhelmed and tense. He decided to go downstairs and have a beer to calm his nerves when his door opened and Ian got in.

 

“What are you doing?” Mickey whispered

 

“Can’t sleep”

 

“Yeah, well try again!”

 

Ian didn’t go out, no instead he got into bed with Mickey as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

 

“Gallagher-“

 

“Shut up, Mick, I’m trying to sleep here.”

 

Mickey wanted to say something, but nothing came to him. He looked at Ian who was jiggling in the bed to find the right position to sleep and he just gave in. He lied down next to Ian, and crossed his arms against his chest.

 

“Mickey?” Ian whispered

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing happened with Kyle last night. He just showed me the other part of the house, that’s all.”

 

Mickey sighed and turned to look at Ian. _Fucking puppy eyes_ , he thought. He got closer and Ian put his hand on the older boy’s waist.

 

“Okay?” Ian said

 

“Yeah… okay”

 

Twenty minutes later, they were both profoundly asleep, like they had not been for a while now.

 

                                                  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hit me on http://goddamit-mir.tumblr.com/


	8. your touch is the softest thing on earth (tuesday)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep, I'm back

When Mickey opened his eyes, he took his phone on the nightstand and read 5 a.m. It took him a minute to remember that Ian was here, legs entangled in his sheets. Mickey just stared at him for a minute, taking all in: all these freckles, the little scares, the full pink lips… Yeah, Ian was truly beautiful. Even the little imperfections turned out to be beautiful. Mickey was lost in his thoughts when he felt something in his stomach, a sensation way too familiar that he hadn’t missed: a panic attack. Milkoviches were supposed to be feelings-proof, and here he was, writing fucking poetry about a guy he barely knew. The panic attack was growing stronger and Mickey decided to wake up Ian. He froze for a second, and let his hand gently caressing Ian’s face before shaking him by the shoulder.

 

“Ian… IAN, wake up man“

 

“What, what’s going on? “ Ian barely opened his sleepy eyes when he spoke.

 

“You have to go to your bed man. “

 

“What time is it?“

 

“A little after 5“

 

“Gimme a couple minutes, okay“

 

“No, no, no, Ian, just… go man“

 

Ian was fully awake now, he stretched his legs and sat on the edge of the bed. He turned over to see that Mickey was staring at him, with this now familiar gaze. Whenever Ian looked into those bright blue eyes, he felt like he understood Mickey. He could see the raging battle that was playing in Mickey’s heart. The older boy wanted him to stay, but at the same time he was afraid, and maybe a little ashamed too. Ian had the luck to grow up in a loving family that supported him, no matter what. Mickey had the same childhood as Mandy, maybe even worse. He decided not to make a fuss for being ejected off of bed at such an indecent hour of the day, and just left the room.

 

Once he was in his bed, he smiled brightly at the ceiling for no apparent reason. The alcohol had now left his system and he could feel himself getting better. But much more than that, he was genuinely happy. The night before, out of drunkenness, he almost gave up on Mickey. But now it hit him hard: He wanted Mickey, not just tonight, not just this week, but a lot more than that.

 

….

 

 _Okay don’t freak out, play it cool and everything’s gonna be okay_. Mickey was fixing his hair in front of the bathroom mirror. He was nervous and for good reasons for once. He was done with giving Ian the wrong idea. Mickey wanted Ian **bad** , but he just didn’t know what all of this implied. He never had a long-lasting relationship, fuck he didn’t even had a relationship period. But he could see it clearly, Ian with all his cuteness and yet strong personality was breaking his walls. And he wouldn’t be surprised if the redhead was currently preparing for bringing down those left. Telling Mandy was becoming urgent, and he didn’t know how to do that either. He looked at his reflection in the mirror and wondered when he started to care so much.

 

…

 

“Hello there” Mandy said. She greeted Ian with a huge smile. He just went back from his morning run and was lured into the kitchen by the smell of pancakes and coffee.

 

“Hey. Smells good Mands. Anyone up?”

 

“Nope, just you and me. Grab the plates please, let’s go outside”

 

Ian did as he was told and followed Mandy under the pergola. They sat face to face and Ian started eating eagerly when he noticed that Mandy was staring at him, sipping her coffee.

 

“What?“ he said, mouth full with pancakes.

 

“Where were you last night?” she said inquiringly

 

“What do you mean?” Ian felt the heat on his cheeks and cursed his pale skin.

 

“When we got home, I wanted to talk to you but you weren’t in your room, so I went to bed… Where were you?”

 

Ian went tight-lipped, he couldn’t come up with a story that quick. Better settle for the truth sometimes.

 

“I was with Mickey”

 

“I don’t understand.“

 

“When we got home, we crashed on his bed, we talked and I … just fell asleep. Woke up at 5, went to my room.“ Ian stuffed a huge piece of pancake, hoping that he was acting casual enough.

 

“What did you guys talk about?”

 

“Things. Stuff, I don’t know…” Ian was now clearly embarrassed and wondered why he didn’t decide on taking a shower before breakfast. Maybe then he would have been able to escape from all of this.

 

“Ian, we’re talking about my brother here. He’s not much of a talker, and you are as red as a fucking tomato.” Mandy now had let go of her cup of coffee and had her fists planted on her sides.

 

“Look Mandy, we were high and I don’t know… He told me stuff. Stuff that he wants to talk to you about. So please just pretend we didn’t have that conversation, and let him come to you okay?” Ian put his most serious face on display, hoping that Mandy would bite. She did.

 

“Alright, alright. I’ll talk to him”

 

“But don’t say I said something. He’d kill me. Literally.“

 

“Yeah, that’s possible” she chuckled and gave Ian a small kick under the table.

 

…

 

Around noon, everyone was up and lazily enjoying the sun around the pool. Mickey was playing poker with Mandy, Tony and Jaime, and Ian was cooking lunch. He was used to cook for so many people and he didn’t mind doing something for once. Since he got in the Hamptons, Mandy and Jaime were pretty much taking care of everything. So he decided to return the favor. He was throwing pasta in a saucepan when Kyle came into the kitchen.

 

“Cooking something fancy, mister?” he said

 

Ian chuckled and turned around to stir the salsa in the pan.

 

“I wish. Just pasta and meat balls.”

 

“Sounds good. You up for a run after lunch?”

 

“I went this morning, but thanks”

 

“Come on, that’ll be fun. Not that you need it but… could be nice”

 

Ian saw that as an opening to clarify things with Kyle. He took a look at the others to make sure they were not coming inside and put his hands on the table kitchen.

 

“Look you’re a nice guy, Kyle and I like you, I really do but hum… this (he pointed himself and Kyle) it’s not gonna happen. I’m sorry.”

 

Kyle didn’t seem upset or embarrassed and Ian was glad he got off the hook that easily.

 

“It’s about Mickey isn’t it?”

 

Okay, well not that easily apparently.

 

“What do you mean?” Ian didn’t look at Kyle, he turned back to check on the food, but mostly to hide his blush.

 

“Don’t play dumb with me, Ian. The others may be oblivious to it but I am not. Clearly there’s something going on here. I find it pretty crazy that no one seems to notice.”

 

Ian finally faced Kyle, and looked at him eyes wide open with surprise. So Kyle’s gaydar was on from the beginning apparently.

 

“I knew the night you arrived man. Took me a while to figure out about Mickey but from the looks I got from him, well it’s pretty obvious”

 

“The looks?” Ian’s mind went crazy for a minute: was Mickey interested in Kyle?

 

“Yeah man. Every time you and I are talking, it’s like he’s on the verge of killing. I’m telling you if eyes could kill, I would have passed away, like two days ago.”

 

“I’m not sure you’re right here…”

 

“Ian, stop it. I didn’t say anything ‘cause obviously Mandy doesn’t know. And I am not an asshole, I’m not gonna break the news to her, alright? Besides I’m having way too much fun watching her setting him up with Kate.”

 

Kyle sniggered and looked at Mickey behind his shoulder with a devilish grin. He was about to leave a frozen Ian in the kitchen, mouth open and eyebrows furrowed but retreated at the last minute.

 

“All I’m saying is that I am not an idiot. But frankly, I think you can do better than a closeted asshole with tattoo knuckles. You can tell him I said that, I don’t like him either anyway.”

 

And just like that, Kyle left. Ian was still staring at him when he noticed the saucepan was overflowing.

 

…

 

At lunch, Ian was congratulated for his meal and every one was satiated. Ian didn’t say much, too absorbed in his thoughts. He couldn’t stop thinking about what Kyle had said. Who was this guy? Who did he think he was to talk about Mickey like this? When his phone buzzed, he didn’t even hear it.

 

“Ian, your phone!” Mandy said

 

Ian shook his head and looked at her, slowly fathoming what she was saying. He took his phone and stood up to get some privacy.

 

“Hey Fi!”

 

“Hi honey, how are you?”

 

Ian was glad to hear his sister’s voice. He sent her a few texts here and there but the only one he had on the phone was Lip.

 

“I’m great, what about you?”

 

“Everything’s fine. How are you?”

 

“Fiona, I just told you”

 

There was a silence for a few seconds and he could hear Fiona sighing.

 

“Your doc called Ian.”

 

SHIT

 

“Did he now? I’m fine Fi, I promise”

 

“You sure because he told Lip-“

 

“Wait, he called Lip too?” Ian was getting angry by the minute.

 

“He’s worried about you Ian. It’s his job to be sure you okay”

 

“He’s an asshole. Like I said I’m fine. We talked and I fucking told him I was doing okay.”

 

“I believe you, just chill for fuck’s sake! I just wanted to be sure. But there’s something else…”

 

“What now?” Ian face was pink and his whole body was tense.

 

“I just wanted to warn you but… Lip’s gonna call you”

 

Ian sighed and cracked his knuckles, already annoyed by all this.

 

“What the fuck does he want?”

 

“He’s your big brother Ian, he just wants to make sure you’re okay. Besides you should thank me. After the doc called, he was ready to come and get your skinny ass back here.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere. Jesus, can he just let me have a good time?”

 

“Ian-“

 

“Look Fiona, I gotta go. Thanks for calling me and just say hi to everyone for me okay? I’ll call you in a couple days.

 

“…Alright. Bye honey”

 

“Bye”

 

Ian sat on the lounger, looking at his phone. He never thought his doc would call his family and now he had to deal with Lip. Fuck, just like he needed that. He could take care of himself, it’s not like he was a child or something. Being away for the entire week was supposed to give him some time to think. It was supposed to let him escape from all this mess. But no matter what he’d do, there was always something coming up. He was tired of being treated like a child, or worse like he was made of glass. Sure he was bipolar but he was also stable for months now, and he didn’t need his family to deal with him like he was broken or fragile. He needed to clear his mind. He stood up and went back to the others.

 

“Hey Kyle, I changed my mind. Let’s go for a run”

 

Kyle gave him the brightest smile ever and left the table to go grab his sneakers. Mickey took a drag of his smoke, never letting his eyes leaving Ian’s face. He heard him shout from the loungers and Ian was clearly upset. Ian gave him a small smile before disappearing into the house to get changed. Yeah something was definitely up. Mickey didn’t want to be obvious, he couldn’t just follow Ian in the house. If someone would be doing that, he should be Mandy, not Mickey. He took his phone and sent Ian a text.

 

**From Mickey, _2.40 pm_**

 

“U okay?”

 

**From Ian, _2.43 pm_**

 

“Dude, I’m upstairs”

 

**From Mickey, _2.44 pm_**

 

“So?”

 

**From Ian, _2.46 pm_**

 

“I’m fine.”

 

Two minutes later Kyle and Ian were leaving the house, leaving a frustrated Mickey behind. He basically spent his entire afternoon waiting for them to come back. the first hour, he thought that they were just stamina junkies. When the second hour passed by, Mickey decided that they’d stop for coffee somewhere. When the third hour passed by, Mickey was definitely annoyed. What the fuck were they doing? The craziest scenarios began to pop in his mind, and he felt like a teenager girl. He was playing videos games with Tony when they finally came back.

 

“Hey guys! Fucking long run you made” Tony said

 

“Hey, better than burning the Xbox all afternoon, smart ass!” Kyle replied. He was shirtless, AGAIN (no but seriously what was wrong with this guy? Couldn’t bare wearing a shirt?) and his hair was damp. Ian was in the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of orange juice. His hair was damp too, and he had sand on his calves. Mickey’s curiosity was eating him alive. He needed an idea to be alone with Ian, like now.

 

“Hey Kyle, why don’t you play with Tony I need to make a call.”

 

Kyle was taken aback by Mickey’s tone (meaning not aggressive) and came towards the couch.

 

“Sure, okay man”

 

“Thanks.” Mickey gave him the controller and went upstairs, hoping that he had not misread the clues. When he heard footsteps in the stairway, he was gloating. He waited for Ian to go into his bedroom and made his way to the redhead’s bedroom. When he got in, Ian was in his boxer, bending over his duffle bag, looking for something.

 

“So, you guys had fun?”

 

Ian jumped in fear.

 

“Jesus, Mickey! You’re a sneaky little shit.”

 

“Yeah yeah, nothing new there. So what did you do?” Mickey put his hands behind his back and looked around. _Yeah casual, Mickey, you’re getting there_.

 

“We went for a run, and then we decided to go the beach.”

 

“Without swimsuits?” Mickey was now staring at Ian’s body, not even noticing he was doing that.

 

“Really?” Ian smirked at Mickey. The redhead was enjoying all of this way too much.

 

Mickey rolled his eyes, and wandered around. He remembered Ian telling him that their bedrooms looked like them. It was true, well at least for Ian: the walls were painted in white, but the furniture was quite different. It was all very designer-like, in steel. On the wall in front of the bed, there was a giant painting of a forest in broad daylight. It created a very peaceful atmosphere.

 

“So you wanted something?” Ian said

 

Mickey brought back his eyes on Ian, and he cursed himself for focusing on the bedroom when he had a fucking gorgeous, practically naked ginger snap in front of him. He didn’t say anything because he wasn’t sure he would have the courage to go with his initial impulse if he did. He came closer, and he felt a knot in his stomach, but the good kind. The one you feel when you’re about to get what you want, and you can feel it’s gonna happen. He put a hand on Ian’s forearm, the other on his waist and finally looked up at the Adonis he had in front of him. He was starting to have goose bumps, he could feel it. As gently as he was capable of doing it, he closed the space between Ian and him, and put his lips on Ian’s. A shiver ran through his spine, and he could sense Ian’s surprise under his touch.

 

It took Ian a minute to realize what Mickey was doing, but jolts of electricity spread instantly in his body. He brought Mickey even closer, sealing the kiss. He put his hand behind Mickey’s neck and deepened the kiss, determined to get all he could from Mickey. At first, it was pretty messy but then, they started to figure each other out and Ian could swear that it was the most incredible feeling he ever had. He ran his free hand in Mickey’s hair, and let the other slide from his neck to the small of his back. He felt Mickey’s breath getting unsteady and he smiled on his swollen lips, still not ready to break the kiss.

 

Mickey did break it though, because, HELL that was amazing but he still needed to breath. He didn’t break the hold he had on Ian, no he just put his head on Ian’s shoulder and took a deep breath. He started kissing his collarbone, and went a little higher to get to Ian’s neck, biting and sucking on every freckle he spotted. Ian was gasping for air, but he couldn’t get enough. He suddenly pushed Mickey against the wall, and smirked when he caught Mickey’s expression: the older boy looked at him, eyes filled with lust and desire and Ian was pretty sure he had the same expression on his face. When Mickey put a hand on his chest to stop his ministrations, Ian pouted and furrowed his eyebrows in defeat.

 

“We gotta stop firecrotch. I mean we can't do this now…” Mickey seemed so disappointed that Ian didn’t even put up a fight. He knew he was right. So Ian went to Mickey’s neck and bit him hard once, and put several wet kissed where he had pinch the pale skin. He opened his bedroom door to let go his confused Milkovich, and whispered in his ear, right before letting him go:

 

“Alright, but we have unfinished business Mick.”

 


	9. You rock my world, can't you see it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not so sure about this chapter, comments more than welcome!

That night, the tension between Mickey and Ian turned into something else. They looked at each other across the room as if nothing, or nobody was between them. Ian could feel Mickey’s gaze on him, and every time he would look up at the other boy, he had a small grin on his face. Mickey for the first time since god knows when, felt good, safe even. Ian was like a quiet force, a warm balm for his mood. He even laughed at Jaime’s lame jokes and Mandy was glowing. She barely recognized her brother in this joyful, funny dude but she was fine with it. After all they went through, she wasn’t complaining seeing her brother smile. She just wondered what had happened to him. Maybe he was seeing someone, hence the phone call earlier. The thought picked her interest and she decided to dig up.

 

Everyone was about to go to bed, and Mickey was finishing his smoke outside. _Perfect timing,_ she thought. She went outside, determined to drag it out of him.

 

“What are you thinking about, brother? She said.

 

“Huh, nothing in particular.” Mickey was looking ahead of him.

 

“Come on…”

 

“What?” he said harshly

 

Mandy sighed, she loved her brother but God, he was such a pain in the ass when he wanted.

 

“Something’s going on, I can feel it” she said rolling her eyes

 

Mickey looked at his sister, tossed his cigarette away and faced her, hands in his pocket.

 

“Actually, yeah there’s something I need to talk to you about. But just… not now. I’m tired as shit.”

 

Mandy was so taken aback by Mickey’s reaction that she just looked at him, mouth wide open.

 

“Come on, shut your fucking hole. Maybe we could… go to town tomorrow?” Mickey was so embarrassed, he was jiggling on his feet like a school girl.

 

Mandy just nodded, not saying a word, and watched her brother going inside in amazement. She had never seen Mickey being so nervous and so serious. Not maybe since Lana died. Lana… Maybe this was about her? Mandy always felt sad when she thought about Lana, particularly because she never knew what the fuck happened to her. Maybe Mickey was ready to talk about it now, after all these years away from the South side and his psychotic father. Truth be told, at first she blamed Mickey for leaving her behind without a word. They were supposed to take care of each other and he just left her in Chicago, alone and clueless. She was glad that Terry was locked up but that day, she lost her brother and her friend. Because Lana may have been Mickey’s best friend (his only friend actually) but Mandy loved her too. Back then, she was overwhelmed with her feelings for Lip and being abandoned by the two men she loved didn’t help. At all.

 

Time passed by, she met Jaime and Mickey used to call once in a while. He used to send money to her aunt for her, so their brothers couldn’t put their hands on it, and she knew he cared. He wasn’t just good at showing it. She went inside a moment after Mickey, hoping that for once in his life, his brother was serious about telling her what happened all those years ago. Kyle was in the kitchen, eating ice cream right form the box, and Ian and Mickey were starting a game on the Xbox. She absentmindedly crossed the room to get to Kyle and took a spoon to dig into the Ben & Jerry’s.

 

When Mandy met Jaime’s family, she was good old Mandy: black hair, short skirts and pierced noise that came with the attitude. She made an effort the day she finally got to meet them, and nobody from Canaryville would have recognized her. She wanted Jaime’s family to like her, especially Kyle. He was Jaime’s older brother and they were close. Jaime needed his older brother approval and Mandy knew that. So the day they met she did all she could for being likeable. It worked remarkably, and from that moment, she knew she was all in. Except that, after a while, she realized that Kyle was sometimes capable of being a real douchebag. Never with her, or with Jaime, but sometimes, she would hear him talk about people, or things and she couldn’t help it. Kyle was a gorgeous, narcissist mean girl sometimes. But he liked her and he was good to his brother so… who cares, right?

 

“Aren’t they cute?” he said, taking Mandy away from her thoughts

 

“Who?” she said, not understanding what he meant.

 

Kyle just chinned up at Mickey and Ian, who were now playing loudly in the living room.

 

Mandy didn’t say anything, she was now all captivated by the box of ice cream in front of her.

 

“You must be thrilled your brother and your best friend get along sooo well, right?” Kyle said, still looking at the boys.

 

“I guess” Mandy replied, mouth full of ice cream. “What’s your point?”

 

“Nothing, I mean, it must be nice that’s all.”

 

Mandy didn’t quite understand the devilish grin he was wearing, but she didn’t really care. Kyle didn’t make any sense sometimes.

 

“Whatever. I’m going to bed now, goodnight” she pecked him on the cheek and threw her spoon in the sink. “Night assholes!” she shouted at the boys.

 

….

 

Once everyone was asleep, Ian and Mickey went upstairs, bumping into each other and laughing. When they got to the bedrooms doors, Mickey didn’t even had time to say something that Ian grabbed him by his tee shirt and dragged him in his bedroom. He pushed Mickey against the wall, and stood still, looking at the other boy in awe.

 

“Tough guy, huh?” Mickey said

 

Ian grinned hard at him, and started to take off Mickey’s shirt slowly, determined to enjoy this all he could. Mickey let him do that but patience was never his strongest suit. Once he got rid of his shirt, he unbuckled Ian’s belt and grabbed his ass. He made Ian come closer and lifted his eyebrows with a huge smile on his face. He was about to put the thing to the next level when Ian stopped him.

 

“What?”

 

“Nothing, just… Can I kiss you?” Ian said hesitantly.

 

Mickey rolled his eyes at him, and started taking off Ian’s tee shirt but Ian stopped him again.

 

“Jesus, we gonna fucking talk through the whole thing?” Mickey said

 

“I just don’t want you to beat the shit out of me because I did something you don’t want me to do” Ian replied seductively. He then went for Mickey’s jaw and started kissing along the hard line of it.

 

“Fair enough” Mickey said, barely able to articulate the words. He didn’t want to say the words “Yes you can kiss me” so he just grabbed Ian’s face, forcing him to stop the kissing and put his lips on his. Just like the first time, the kiss began slowly as if they were tasting each other. But then it got a lot rougher and Mickey loved it. The clenching teeth, the swirling tongues, the muffled noises, all of it. It was a beautiful mess. They were a beautiful mess. Mickey ran his hand through Ian’s soft hair and wished they were longer so he could grab it forcefully. Ian went a little closer (if that was possible) to grind against Mickey and he felt waves of heat spreading through his entire body.

 

He turned around, never letting go of Mickey and made him step back. Mickey eventually hit the edge of the bed. Mickey sat down, eyes never leaving Ian’s, as the redhead got rid of the clothes he had left. Mickey quickly took off his and let Ian lay down against him. Mickey had sex with guys before, but only what you would call “quickies”: fast and rough, no intimacy, no names even sometimes. But Ian was different: he looked Mickey in the eyes, and god those deep green eyes were unsettling. Ian grabbed Mickey’s legs and pushed him further away on the bed so they were not on the edge anymore. He cupped Mickey’s face and kissed him again, with that same hunger that made Mickey’s stomach flip and he ground their bodies together. Mickey let his hand run across Ian’s body shamelessly, squeezing his upper arms, gently caressing his back and his ass. He wanted more, more than all of this and broke the kiss to grab a condom and the lube. Ian received the message and took it, smiling at Mickey like a loon. Mickey was about to turn over when Ian put his hand on his chest.

 

“Where do you think you’re going?” he said

 

“Nowhere, I was gonna-“ Mickey said but Ian was obviously not letting him do that.

 

“No”

 

“What do you mean “no”? Come on firecrotch-“

 

“I’m gonna fuck you, and I’m gonna look at you. And you’re gonna look at me too.”

 

Mickey was speechless. He didn’t know that side of Ian, but he had to be honest: he liked it, this was really hot. A bossy redhead, that’s what it was.

 

Ian placed himself between Mickey’s legs and kissed his chest, biting and sucking sometimes, just to come back to a slow, soft pace a second after. Mickey was going crazy under his touch and rolled his eyes in pleasure. Ian prepared Mickey very quickly, and welcomed the soft moans of pleasure that Mickey let out. He put on the condom Mickey had previously given him and slid into him. Ian let escape a very loud noise and Mickey put his hand on Ian’s mouth, because well he was having the best time of his life, no reason to ruin that by being caught. Ian went at a slow pace first, but once he was accustomed to Mickey’s body, he moved faster, harder and he was all lost in Mickey.

 

Mickey was now the one who couldn’t stop the moans. Ian get rid of his hand on his mouth abruptly and kissed him hard and sloppy. They were both seeing stars and their breaths were jerky and unsteady, but they were alone in the world. It was one of those moments when you want to take it slow, just to be able to memorize it forever. The feeling of being pressed together, despite the sweat, was exhilarating and they felt like their skins were on fire. When green eyes were catching blue eyes, sparkling with desire and lust, it was all too much and not enough at the same time. Mickey finally broke the kiss and let his body shake under the power of his orgasm. He closed his eyes for a second, but reopened them to look at Ian, and whispered his name as if it was the most precious thing on earth. It made Ian shiver and seconds later, he was following Mickey in paradise.

 

He kept still for a second, his forehead pressed against Mickey’s and breathed hard, trying to recover from the most incredible sex he may have ever had. Mickey put his arms around Ian and crossed his fingers, not willing to let Ian go. Ian was far from reluctant and let his entire body weight crash against his lover. They stayed like that forever until Ian rolled over and ditched the condom away. He laid down next to Mickey and put his hands on his stomach. Mickey had grabbed a towel he spotted on the nightstand and gave it to Ian after using it. Ian used it as well and tossed it on the floor. When he looked back at Mickey, the older was breathing slowly, eyes closed and hands behind his head, a small smile on his face. Ian bit his lower lip, and scooted closer. Mickey turned his head to look at him, and he had the exact same look he had when they kissed early. A mix of joy, desire and … love maybe? Ian couldn’t quite say. He put his hand on Mickey waist and his head on Mickey’s chest. He could hear his heart beat fast and he didn’t know if it was from the sex or something else.

 

“I assume you gonna jump on your clothes and leave now, right?” Ian said, with a trembling voice.

 

Mickey, against all expectations, just pressed Ian’s body against his and said:

 

“You kicking me out, Gallagher?”

 

“Course not” Ian replied with a chuckle.

 

“Then I’ll just stay a little bit longer.”

 

**….**

 

“Yo, Mandy, let’s go!” Mickey was under the pergola, waiting for his sister to go to town. He felt so nervous he could feel his hands shaking. Mandy had proposed to go to a small restaurant near the beach, where Jaime liked to go. She was also nervous because she didn’t know what to expect from this little chat with her big bro. Once she was finally ready, they jumped in Mickey’s car and left the house. The ride was pretty silent, only casual things were said, and Mickey was biting at the skin on his fingers, almost getting them to bleed. He was relieved when they passed by the restaurant and Mandy asked him to pull over.

 

The place was nice and small, and Mickey internally thanked his sister for choosing a small, intimate place. They sat on a booth face to face and ordered pasta and two beers. The knot in Mickey’s chest was getting bigger by the minute. How was he supposed to begin? Where was he supposed to begin? He was lost in his thoughts when Mandy put her hand on his.

 

“You okay?” she said

 

“Yeah I’m fine”

 

“Look I don’t know what you want to talk about but by the look on your face, it seems pretty important. So why don’t we just cut the crap and get to the point?”

 

“Easy to say bitch”

 

“Come on Mick, let’s get rid of it! What did you do huh? You killed someone? Please tell me you didn’t kill someone.” She took back her hands and put it on her forehead, obviously getting worried by the minute.

 

“Don’t be stupid, I didn’t. Even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you so…”

 

“So, what is it? Spill it out, for god sake!”

 

Mickey was pretty sure there was no way to say this, so it just blurted out the truth.

 

“I’m gay ok? A big ol’ mo”

 

Mandy stared at her brother, speechless. She didn’t know what to say nor do and she was pretty sure her brain was not functioning properly. She didn’t even realize her mouth had dropped and she stopped breathing.

 

“Get a grip, please” Mickey said, rubbing his knuckles nervously. Here, that was it. The rejection, the shock he expected from his sister.

 

“I… I don’t understand… you fuck girls…” she finally said, her head in her hands.

 

“Correction, I used to. Needed some kind of alibi, you know…”

 

“Yeah, but … I mean… All the fagbashing with dad... and … OH MY GOD!”

 

“What? WHAT?”

 

And just like that, Mandy figured all out…

 

_“I… I met someone” he said. “We met in Chicago, not long ago, we hooked up a couple of times but, I don’t know. From what I get, he’s not the relationship kind, nor the kisser for that matter… But when we’re together, I feel like there’s something. You can’t just fake that…”_

_“Aren’t they cute? You must be thrilled your brother and your best friend get along sooo well, right?”_

Mandy couldn’t believe it, how could not she see what was going on right in front of her? The complicity, the changing moods, the blatant proximity and yet careful physical distance… It was there from the beginning.

 

“It’s you! Oh my god it’s you!” she screamed.

 

“The fuck are you talking about?” 

 

“You’re the guy Ian met! You’re the closeted dumbass! Oh my god! OH MY GOD!”

 

“Can you speak louder, I think people in China didn’t hear you!”

 

“I’m sorry, I’m just so… shocked I guess. I never thought, I never-“

 

“So you don’t hate me?” Mickey was not looking at her sister, apparently too absorbed by his fork.

 

“Hate you? No come one! I’m just … so surprised, I never thought…” Mandy paused there because something else just popped in his mind. “ Mickey… Does all of this has something to do with Lana?”

 

“Yeah about that…”

 

And then, Mickey told her everything. How Terry found out the truth, the fucking rape, the marriage and then the death of his best friend. Mandy held his hands through the entire story, tears running on her cheeks and her body shaking at the worst details. Mickey never looked at her once, he was incapable of doing so, but when his voice became a whisper or a whine, Mandy would squeeze his hand to give him the strength to continue his story. She felt so bad for him, and she hated herself for believing that the only sibling that cared about her just abandoned her without a good reason. Now that she knew, she realized how much Mickey was the one who suffered in silence, never asking for her help. She felt terrible for being so blind all this time.

 

They couldn’t finish their meals, fuck they couldn’t swallow a bite, so they left the restaurant and once outside, Mandy took a cigarette from her brother.

 

“Thought you quit” he said, lighting her smoke.

 

“Pretty sure I deserve it right now.”

 

They smoked in silence until Mickey broke it.

 

“I’m sorry for leaving you behind. You needed me, and I left. I hope you can forgive me.”

 

Mandy put her arm around her brother and let her head fall on his shoulder.

 

“There’s nothing to forgive. Now that I know the truth, I can tell you, big brother, you did the right thing.”

 

Mickey let his head rest on his sister’s and they went back to the car, ready to go home.

 

“Mandy? How do you know about Ian?” Mickey whispered

 

“He told me about a guy he met and I don’t know… something Kyle said…”

 

“What does this fucker has to do with anything?” he said aggressively.

 

“”I think he knows about you two… he has a pretty fucking powerful gaydar.”

 

“Whatever… What did Ian say?”

 

“Oh no no no no, you’re not collecting information here”

 

“Come on, don’t be a bitch”

 

“I... I think he really likes you, Mick.”

 

“Yeah… nothing else?”

 

“Depends. Will you tell me who is the bottom? “

 

“Fuck off.”

 

Mickey looked at her sister and saw her huge grin. He couldn’t help it, he burst in laugh and Mandy did the same.

 


	10. Let Bygones be bygones? Don't think so

When Mandy and Mickey came home that afternoon, Jaime was in the pool but Kate, Tony, Kyle and Ian were nowhere to be found. Mickey went to the bathroom to clean up a little bit, mostly to wash away the conversation he just had with his sister. He needed to get rid of all the frustration and the fear. Now that he had told the truth to Mandy, he could be whoever he wanted to be, he was free. Almost automatically, his thoughts went to Ian. He remembered the night they had spent together, and he seemed almost unreal.Ian's skin against his was too soft, and the things he felt under his body were exhilarating. He had never wanted to be with someone like this. But Ian, just like he expected, broke the rules, broke his walls. When he looked into the mirror, he barely recognized himself. He had a huge smile on his face, and he seemed genuinely happy. Maybe, just maybe things were going to be good for once. He was drying his face with the towel when he heard shoutings downstairs. He climbed down the stairs hastily and found that the noises were coming from the projection room. Mandy was sitting on the couch, biting on her thumbnail, while Ian was on the phone. His face was red and he seemed so upset that Mickey went straight to him. Ian saw him come towards him but he turned around. Mickey looked at Mandy quizzically, and she just whispered “his brother”.

 

“I am not coming home Lip, you hear me? I’m fine! Jesus!” Ian shouted.

 

Mandy sighed and stood up to take the phone out of his hands. Jaime chose this moment to get into the room.

 

“Lip, it’s Mandy. Listen, he is fine, don’t worry, I’m tak-“

 

Mandy remained silent for a minute, and Mickey wondered what that Lip brother was saying to her. Ian had already stormed out of the room but Mickey didn’t follow him. He saw on Ian’s face that now wasn’t a good time; he needed some time alone. Mandy shouting made Mickey come back to what was happening in the room.

 

“You listen to me, you piece of shit. You lucky you’re not in front of me, otherwise I would have gave you a pretty shine. You know me, you know your brother. And even if I understand you care and you’re worried, you gotta chill. He’s fine, I got this.”

 

Another long silence happened and when Mandy spoke again, her voice was softer but much sadder too.

 

“You used to trust me, you know. You know me, Lip. I won’t let anything happen to him. I promise you.”

 

Mandy just hummed a few times, and finally put a final note to this.

 

“I’ll … okay … I’ll come. Yeah yeah I promise. Don’t … okay … Bye Lip.” Mandy hung up and looked up to see her brother and her boyfriend looking at her, eyebrows up. She didn’t say anything and left the room to find Ian. The redhead was lying on one of the loungers, smoking a cigarette. When he saw her coming he sat, and let her sit next to him.

 

“What did he say?” Ian whispered

 

Mandy put a hand on his shoulder and gave him back his phone.

 

“He said he was worried. He said that I should call if anything happened.”

 

Ian sighed and let his head fall on Mandy’s shoulder.

 

“I told him I was. And he was drunk for the record.I could tell.”

 

“I know. Look, I promised I’d take care of you and I will. For some reason, he trusts me”

 

Ian looked up, and stared Mandy right in the eyes, blue confronting green.

 

“You know why.”

 

“Yeah, it’s just, after all this time… I didn’t think I would be so happy to hear his voice, especially under these circumstances.”

 

“He’s an asshole”

 

“Sure but he’s also you’re big brother Ian, and he loves you. Believe me sometimes people do or act crazy when it comes to the people they love.”

 

Ian finished his cigarette in silence, wondering what she could mean, but he didn’t want to ask. He just wanted to go to bed, wrapped in Mickey’s arms and forget about all this.

 

…

 

Later that afternoon, Jaime was doing the dishes with Mandy and kept staring at her. She didn’t realize it at first because she was too focused on what Lip said.

 

_“There’s no one I would trust more when it comes to Ian. Just don’t let me down this time Mands. I need you on this one.”_

“Something on your mind?” Jaime said

 

_"I need to see you. Call me when you get to Chicago... I, Fuck, I need to see you" Lip said_

 

“Huh? No, nothing don’t worry about it”

 

“Okay… so what was it about your brother this afternoon? You were weird when you came back.” Jaime took the plate from her hands to dry it, but mostly to get her attention.

 

_"I can't loose him Mands. Not like you, I can't..." Lip said_

 

“Nothing, don’t worry. Family business.”

 

Jaime didn’t want to be aggressive but all of this was too much. He didn’t say anything about it to Mandy but there was too many things buggering him right now. For starters, he thought Mickey was an asshole. The guy played tough and all, and he was particularly mean with his brother. Then there was Ian, who was nice but very secretive and moody. And there was Lip. Whoever that guy was, Jaime could feel that something was off. Mandy used to tell him everything. But since the two guys arrived she was all about secrets and lies. She didn't want to talk about Lip, she didn't want to tell him what was wrong with Ian, and now she had this big secret going on with her brother.

 

“Fine, don’t tell me. But If you plan on being a bitch until the end of the week, I should probably get some air. KYLE ! Let’s go to town, man.”

 

And just like that he left the kitchen, leaving a dumbfounded Mandy on her own.

 

…

 

Mickey was lying on his bed, arms crossed on his chest when Ian came in. he didn’t say a word but he laid down next to him. Mickey put his hand on Ian's waist and caressed softly the skin that showed right above his jeans.

 

“You okay?” he said

 

Ian sighed and scootered closer, closing his eyes in defeat.

 

“I’ll be fine. I just don’t want to talk about it now”

 

“Fine with me”

 

Ian was now glued to Mickey. He relaxed a little under his touch and he didn’t recall feeling so safe for a long time. Maybe the last time was when he was little and Fiona hugged him until he fell asleep, those days when Monica was in a bad shape. Mickey let his hand wander in Ian’s hair, and draw imaginary little birds on his neck until Ian snored and the older boy let himself sink into oblivion as well.

 

When the boys woke up it was dark outside. They could hear the others downstairs, chatting with the music on. They didn’t want to move, they were too much confortable in their bubbles.

 

“I told Mandy” Mickey finally said.

 

“Yeah? How did she react?”

 

“She said she knew about us”

 

Ian moved a little, tightening the hold he had on Mickey.

 

“You told her about us?” Mickey said

 

“I… told her I met someone”

 

Mickey sighed and rubbed his eyes lazily. He was glad Mandy knew, but somehow it made things a little too much official. He pushed back Ian and sat on the edge of the bed, not wanting to look at Ian. This wasn’t the real life. Real life was in his shitty restaurant in Woodstock, along with shitty customers and a shitty staff.

 

“Better go downstairs” he said and took off without further comments. Ian decided that he needed to give him some space, the older had a rough day he knew that and he had problems on his own. After his phone call with Lip, he felt exhausted and also very sad. He wanted his brother to care but not that much, and above all  he wanted Lip to trust him as much as he did to take the right decisions for himself. But Lip was an overprotective brother, and somehow he found that trust in Mandy but not in his own brother.

 

…

 

Later that night, Ian was in the projection room by himself watching a movie. He wanted to be alone after dinner because everyone seemed to be so tense; Mandy barely spoke and avoided Jaime’s eyes. Jaime was fuming inside, he could sense it, but he had no idea what was going on. Mickey never broke eye contact with his plate and Kyle looked at the redhead with a kinky smile that made him uncomfortable. Thank god, Tony and Kate seemed to have enough in them to fill the room with useless chitchat. With the music in the background, you could have think of it as a normal dinner between friends but Ian knew better. It was just like when a storm is coming and you can feel the weather changing, the air getting thicker by the minute and the electricity filling the sky. Something was coming, and Ian was getting nervous by the minute. He felt the need to get out of the oppressing atmosphere. So here he was, watching a dumb movie to get his mind off of it when Kyle got into the room. He sat on the couch, not too far from Ian and watched the redhead. Ian didn’t even pretend to care, he stared blindly at the screen and ate pop corn he found in the cupboards.

 

“You gonna remain silent all the way, huh?”

 

“I’m watching a movie”

 

“When you could do so much more”

 

Ian finally looked at the blond guy sitting next to him, and Kyle licked his lips seductively to make his point.

 

“I told you-“ Ian began

 

“I know I know, you don’t want me, you’re all hot for the southside boy but hey I’m just trying to help here” Kyle said

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Seriously Ian, where is it going? You don’t even live in the same town. Maybe something clicked between the two of you because … I don’t know… You’re on vacation, and this is so mch different than what you are used to. But it’s not gonna last. Hell even when all the criteria are put together, people don’t even work. You can't trust him. And you’re here, watching him with these… puppy eyes of yours when it’s clear that you won’t make it work! It’s just sad man.”

 

Ian stood up and looked at Kyle with disgust and hate.

 

“Who do you think you are, huh? Barging in here, telling me what I should do with my life! I don’t even know you!”

 

Ian wanted to storm out but Kyle grabbed him by his arms and put his body against his.

 

“I am just someone who fight for what he wants. Does he do that huh? Do you think that when you’ll be back in Chicago, he’ll fight for you, he’ll stay faithful to you? Cause he won’t Ian and you know it. You deserve someone who REALLY wants to be with you.”

 

Kyle got closer and put his lips on Ian’s, holding him by force against his body. Ian shook him off and pushed him away forcefully.

 

“Don’t EVER do that again okay? You don’t know me, you don’t know anything about him. You’re lucky this is your home, because I swear to god I should kick you ass for that.”

 

“You can’t be in denial forever man” Kyle said, putting his shirt in place. He then left the room, Ian behind him. The redhead gathered his shit and went to the pergola where Mandy had left a joint half smoked. He finished it and went upstairs to Mickey’s bedroom, eager to feel safe again in Mickey’s arms. Mickey was there, smoking a cigarette at the window, showing him his back. Ian went straight to him and put his hands on his shoulders, pressing his body against his but Mickey threw the cigarette and stepped away from him.

 

“You should sleep in your bedroom tonight.” He said

 

“Why?” Ian didn’t want his ton to be weak but being apart from Mickey that night made his heart ache and he tried to figure out why the sudden change.

 

“I just want to be alone” Mickey replied, not even looking at him.

 

“Did I-“

 

“Just go to your room Gallagher, I’ll see you in the morning.”

 

When Mickey finally looked at the redhead and saw the hurt in his eyes, he just couldn’t stand it. he jumped on his bed and rolled in the sheets, not adding a word.

 

…

 

Kyle was in the shower, and couldn’t help smiling at the tiles like an idiot. He never thought playing this little game of his could be so much fun but it was. Mickey had to pay, and Kyle was more than happy to break his little bubble. The only thing that made him even angrier was that Mickey didn’t even recognize him. Because yes they knew each other. It was maybe 5 years ago, at a gay club in Chicago. Kyle had hit on Mickey and they went to the bathroom to mess around. Mickey was drunk of course but Kyle not so much. He gave the blue eyed boy a hummer, and when he asked for one, Mickey just punched him a few times in the face, leaving him with a half broken tooth and a bruised cheek. Right before he left he just said “I’m not a fucking fag”. So no, if you could ask Kyle, he wasn’t so upset about saying all those things to Ian, when he knew that Mickey was in the kitchen and could hear them talking. Not a bit of a remorse.


	11. This doesn't have to end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record, I finished this completely drunk (for any complains, refer to my BFF who wanted to talk "heart to heart" tonight)

“I swear to god, my son won’t be one of those disgusting AIDS monkeys! You gonna fuck her hard boy. I’ll blow your fucking head if you don’t“

 

Mickey’s lying on the couch of the Milkovich household, in boxers. Blood is dripping all over his body and he can hear Terry shouting but things are so blurry, he doesn’t understand what is going on. His ribs hurts and he feels like something hit him in the face. Nothing makes sense, the voices and the screams fill the air. He is about to give up, his mind surrenders, his head is spinning and he can only see that someone else is sitting on a chair across the room. Lana calls his name but he doesn’t hear her first. It’s only when she grabs his face by the chin to get his attention that he notices her presence. He wants to smile, he wants to say how much he misses her but the words get stuck in his throat. She is wearing a very short blue dress and her mascara is all over her face. A flash of fear passes in her eyes but Mickey doesn’t move. He can’t move. A tear run down Lana’s cheek and he can catch the “I’m sorry“ that his best friend whispers. He takes his hand, he wants to say that he is sorry too, that he never meant for any of this to happen. He wants to move, to do something but in a second everything disappears and he is in another living room.

Terry and Lana vanished. The pain he felt in is bones is gone too and he feels calm all of the sudden. There’s music in another place and he decides to check who is there. The light coming from the window makes the apartment so bright it hurts Mickey’s eyes. The smell of pancakes and coffee seems to come from the same place the music does. He stops at the doorframe when he sees Ian, sipping a cup of coffee. The redhead boy is against the fridge, eyes closed like he didn’t have enough sleep. When he opens his eyes, the sight of Mickey makes him smile. Ian is giving him his brightest smile, and the sun makes his hair even fierier. His eyes are as green as emeralds and Mickey wants to reach him but he can’t. His feet are stuck to the floor. He wants to open his mouth but he can’t, his lips are glued to each other. Someone knocks at the door and Ian’s smile fades away in a second. He doesn’t say anything either, but he points out the door for Mickey. Mickey can feel an incredible force pushing him towards the door, he doesn’t control his body anymore. His hand falls on the doorknob and opens forcefully without his pull. In front of him, Kyle is looking at him. He doesn’t smile, doesn’t flinch. When he opens his mouth, it’s not his voice that comes out of his body. It’s Terry’s voice that Mickey hears through him.

 

“You really thought this was possible?” he says. “You are a piece of shit, a worthless piece of shit”.

 

The floor opens under Mickey’s feet and he falls into oblivion. Except it’s not oblivion, just the wooden floor of his room in Jaime’s house. His head hurts and he doesn’t even want to know what time it is, why he would dream of this father after all this years or why he is shaking so hard, covered in sweat.

 

 

…

When Ian woke up the next morning, he felt so angry that he left the house for his morning run without even saying anything. He hoped that the fresh air and the adrenaline would help him go through all the emotions he had. Mickey rejected him, again, and Kyle was seriously starting to get on his nerves. He had enough on his plate with Lip to deal with all the drama. He would like to be angry a little longer because anger is much easier to deal with. The pain, ah the pain is unbearable. Mickey rejected him, again. As much as he wants to explode about everything else going on, it is the look on Mickey’s face that seems to be stuck on his retina.

 

Ian never really believed in what you may call “true love”. For him it was just something that the world used as an excuse for producing blockbusters with whoever is the sexiest guy in Hollywood. It was a trick, an illusion created to fill little girls mind. A fantasy. He witnessed how “love” was deceiving, cruel, unreasonable. He watched Fiona cry over every single boyfriend that crossed the threshold of the Gallaghers. He saw how his own parents used it to excuse their lame behaviour. No, love was definitely a scam.

 

But then, how do you explain what it feels like to be near the blue-eyed boy? How can you explain the thrill that he feels when Mickey gives him one of his bright smiles, the twinkle in his eyes, the ache in his heart when he catches those things. For Mickey, Ian was ready to accept the fact that maybe “true love” is a myth, but love, the love he feels for Mickey is very much real. Once he accepted that, he knew what he had to do. Because once you know what love is, you never let it end. You hold on to it, you keep it safe, like a precious thing. You have to accept that your life is never gonna be the same. You got someone in your life that makes you feels great, that understands you and loves you for exactly what you are. Yeah for the first time in his life, Ian realized that he was the victim of the one thing he never really believed in.

 

…

 

Mickey was smoking a cigarette in the garden, wondering about his dream when Kyle came over and asked for one. Mickey, against his usual self, didn’t even say something rude or ironic but handed the smoke to the blond guy. Kyle lit it, and took a deep breath.

 

“You heard me yesterday, I know it” he said

 

Mickey looked at his feet and didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to.

 

“I think you should go.” Kyle added

 

Mickey finally looked up to the other man, and whispered something unintelligible.

 

“What is that mumbles?” Kyle said

 

“I think you are right. I’ll pack my things and be gone. I don’t belong here.”

 

With that he left Kyle and started looking for Mandy. All of this was a terrible mistake, he knew it from the beginning. Maybe he would never be ready for this kind of things. He was, against what he wanted to believe, scared of what he felt. Kyle was right he wasn’t the right person for Ian, never will be. He didn’t like holding hands, he hated PDA, he was scared of what people might think. He didn’t want to be seen differently from the world. He was a Milkovich and Milkoviches don’t hold hands, they don’t get the chance to fall in love. They don’t have that kind of luck in their life. No matter how far he moved away from Canaryville, he was always gonna be that poor, useless thug that everyone feared. If only people knew that the person Mickey feared the most was himself, they would understand. But to realize such a thing, it has to be shown. And Mickey was determined to keep things how they were. Going back to his life, his quick fucks and his shitty apartment was the smartest thing to do. He could never let himself fall in love with the redhead; he could never give him what he expected. Because loving someone else implies that you know HOW to let them love you back, because you're able to love yourself first. No, Mickey Milkovich never learned how to do that. He saw how bright Ian’s future could be and he didn’t fit anywhere.

 

…

 

“WHY?” Mandy shouted

 

“Because I don’t feel like staying here, that’s all” Mickey said

 

“Oh cut the crap, Mick. I know that you haven’t taken a day off since … I don’t know, months, maybe more, I haven’t seen you for a year and you’re telling me you’re leaving now?”

 

“Things will be easier if I go now”

 

“What things for god’s sake! Write the fucking riddle down if you want me to catch up with you! Have you told Ian?”

 

“No, I didn’t.”

 

“Oh and so I’m the one who’s supposed to break the news? Go fuck yourself”

 

Mandy wanted to leave but Mickey grabbed her by her arms and prevented her from leaving the room.

 

“I came here because I needed to tell you the truth. Now that I did, there’s nothing holding me here. I gotta work Mands. And I … I can’t deal with any of this shit."

 

“Stay for me then.” She whispered

 

“I’ll come to Chicago soon, I’ll visit you I promise. But now, I just need to go.”

 

“I know that you don’t want to hear it, but I’m pretty sure you’re walking away from something great.”

 

“We’ll never know, won’t we?” he said and left the place, leaving Mandy completely dazed.

 

….

 

“Why are you leaving?“ Ian said. As soon as he heard the news, the redhead went to Mickey’s car to catch up with me. _No, no, no this is not how things were supposed to be,_ he thought _._ He was supposed to talk to Mickey, make him feel safe, apologize for whatever reason if needed, and get wrapped up in his arms. Because it was the only place he wanted to be. Mickey didn’t answer right away, he didn’t want to say anything. For fuck’s sake, why was everyone trying to make him talk about how he felt. Not everyone just get to blurt out how they fucking feel every minute.

 

“I just feel like it“ he said

 

“You feel like it? You kidding?“

 

“Look I don’t have time for this. Just.... Enjoy your last days and ...“

 

“Fuck you Mickey! One day your all sweet and all. Next day you act like a jerk. Fuck you“

 

“Yeah right“

 

Mickey didn't even want to talk about it. It was clear in his mind that he was acting right.

 

Ian could feel his eyes getting watery but he fought it.

 

"Will I see you again?“

 

"Why do you care?“

 

Ian wanted to say he cared because he NEVER met someone like Mickey, because he knew in his heart that THIS was right but he couldn’t. Mickey seemed so detached, so in peace with his decision to leave that Ian could only think of one think: Mickey Milkovich didn’t care about him. This was just a nice coincidence that allowed them good fucks in a fucking beach house in the Hamptons. Nothing more.

 

"Fuck you" Ian said

 

"Yeah like I care bitch”

 

The words were like venom in Ian's heart. This couldn’t be the end, but it seemed so much like it.

 

“Just admit it, before you go, before you disappear like the coward that you are. You’re gay, you like me, and you’re running away because you’re scared.”

 

“Yeah, well if it makes you sleep at night…”

 

Ian couldn’t hold it anymore. He punched Mickey in the face, with all the frustration and the pain he had in him. And maybe the blue eyed boy were incapable of saying the things that Ian wanted to hear but his eyes, his eyes made all the work for him. In his eyes, you could read that he felt sorry, sorry for being such a coward, sorry for giving up before even trying. You could also clearly see the shame, and the disgust, and the low self esteem that almost twenty years living in the south side made to him. He became that closed-up person that everyone, especially his own father wanted him to be. He didn't deserve love, he didn't deserve Ian. The redhead felt like he had just lost his soul mate, right before he got the chance to know him. Everything was fucked up, Ian was fucked up, Mickey was fucked up. But the pain was still there, eating him alive like a poisonous snake in his stomach. Mickey looked at Ian, and they both knew that they just ended in the most terrible way the greatest thing they could have ever had.

 


	12. One day you here, one day you there, one day you care, it's so unfair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments very much welcome, I know a lot of you don't particularly like the direction I'm taking with this... but wait and see, please !

Kyle was under the pergola, watching Ian and Mandy cuddling on one of the loungers. He was glad Mickey was gone, but witnessing Ian being so pathetic made him sick. He knew the guy for what? Not even a week, and he was moping like he had just lost a family member. Kate was doing her nails absentmindedly, not caring at all about them. Finally she looked up, saw them and chuckled a little.

“What is it?” Kyle said.

“Nothing. They’re cute. Too bad Ian’s so gay.”

“Yeah, well at least Mickey’s gone now. Thanks for the help by the way.”

“No problem. After what he did to you, it’s the least I could do. Practiced my flirting skills at least.”

“You didn’t tell anyone right?” Kyle whispered.

“Of course not. I’m not stupid. Pretty sure your brother would think it was a low blow.”

“Yeah, well he doesn’t have to know, right?”

Kyle grabbed his beer and raised it to have a silent toast with Kate for his little success.

…

 

Ian had no idea how things got out of control. No matter how much he rewinded the scene, it didn’t make any sense. He knew that Mickey had his own demons, but he felt like somehow, he succeeded in driving away some of them. But when Mickey’s words hit him hard, he lost control. That’s what Mickey did to him, _he made him lose control_. Thank god, Mandy was here, holding him tight, not talking. She had always been like that, able to read Ian’s pain and just make it go away. Ian was not so sure that Mandy would be enough this time but at least she was there for him. She tried to make him relax by massaging his neck, putting small kisses on his shoulder as if her touch was able to erase the invisible scars. He loved her for that. He always thought that Mandy was his soul mate, because yes, there are different types of soul mate. Mandy was definitely his.

Mandy didn’t know what happened, she was frankly clueless but she was so mad at Mickey. He left for no apparent reason, after spilling out the truth about Ian, about Lana, about his homosexuality. She kind of hoped to have some time with him without all the secrets. _Fuck him,_ she thought _, I’m gonna enjoy the rest of the week with Ian, and I’ll deal with this asshole later._

Ian finally let go of Mandy and went into the house to have a shower before diner. He mostly needed to get his mind out of it. He didn’t want to hurt Mickey but again Mickey didn’t really spare him with his words. They were even. He thought about calling Lip for a second but then remembered that he was supposed to be mad at the asshole. Never mind, he still had Mandy.

Mandy had no energy to cook that night so she decided to order something. She went looking for Jaime, in order to know what he wanted. She found him in the projection room, watching a superhero movie. She sat close to him and let her head fall on his shoulder. Usually Jaime would put his arm around her and let her cuddle but he stayed in the exact same position. Mandy finally looked up, sensing the tension.

“What’s up?“ she said

“What happened with your brother?“

“It’s complicated but he had to go. Apparently.“ Mandy sighed, she really didn't want to talk about that.

“Everything is complicated lately.“ Jaime seemed very jaded.

“What is that supposed to mean?“

“You think I’m an idiot ? You don’t think that I know there’s something going on with your brother and mine? And what about Ian?“

“Look, it’s not that I don’t want to tell, it’s just-“

“Complicated? Right.“

Jaime stood up to leave, but Mandy was not letting go. She didn’t want Jaime to feel left behind but it was not her call to reveal Ian’s condition or Mickey’s insecurities.

“It has nothing to do with us, and my brother has left. Why are you so upset, I don’t get it!“

“What about Lip, then? What did you guys talked about?“

“He’s just worried about his brother, that’s all.“ Mandy was fleeing Jaime’s eyes, scratching her neck with no reason.

“Why would he be worried? It’s not like we’re in some Stan, or I don’t know.“

“He’s just a protective brother, I guess.“

Jaime stared at Mandy and crossed his arms against his chest, looking at her with his eyebrows furrowed.

“Why did you say you’d visit him, then? Is that necessary?“

“ It’s no big deal.“

“So you meeting your ex boyfriend, a boyfriend I don’t know nothing about is no big deal. Great.“ Jaime was loosing his patience, as well as Mandy.

“Look, we already talked about this. I told you there’s nothing between Lip and I. Can’t you just drop it?“

Mandy rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed now. Jaime sighed in exasperation and was about to leave the projection room but turned around last minute.

“It’s just that I don’t know who you are right now. Since your brother and Ian got here, you’re so… different. And no matter how I try to ignore it, you’re lying to me about Lip. Among other things. I … don’t even know who you are.“

...

The diner that night was very silent. Jaime didn’t talk to Mandy, and Ian was apparently too interested in his meal to talk with the others. Kyle finally broke the silence.

“So you guys want to do something tonight? We could go to the beach.“

“Yeah! let’s do that! You up, Jaime?” Kate said.

“I don’t know.“

“I’m gonna stay in, if you guys don’t mind.” Ian said

“Oh come on, let’s go out, meet some new people, get your head off of things, Ian!” Kate said, maybe too much enthusiastically.

“Off of what?“ Jaime asked.

“Off of his little Mickey for sure!“ Kyle said, chuckling.

“Fuck off, Kyle.” Mandy said aggressively. Ian told her about the kiss earlier and she was upset about it.

“Hey, don’t talk to my brother like that.“ Jaime replied.

“Why don’t you cut me some slack, huh?“ Mandy left the table with her plate and threw it in the sink, then went to her room.

“You told her?“ Ian said to Kyle. It was obvious Kate knew about Mickey and him, and frankly he didn’t care but it was just another proof that Kyle was an asshole. But Kate didn’t quite understand it this way. She thought Ian was talking about what had happened between Kyle and Mickey years ago.She was a bit drunk and spilled it out. 

“What if he did? I'm his friend and Mickey wasn't going to stay here after...“

Kate caught Kyle's expression and bit her lower lip as if it could prevent her from saying more. But it was already too late: Jaime and Ian were looking at her, waiting for more. When she just looked down at her plate like a child who did something wrong, Jaime couldn't stop his frustation to show.

“What the fuck is she talking about? Jaime said to his brother, eyes wide open.

Kyle sighed and rolled his eyes at Kate.

“You remember the guy who beat the shit out of me years ago? Yep, that was Mandy’s brother.“

He chuckled ant took another sip of his beer, as if he just said the most casual thing ever. Jaime was astonished. It took Ian a minute to realize what it meant for us all. Kyle knew from the beginning who was Mickey. He could have confronted him, or he could have accepted the fact that this "thing" between them happened years. Instead, he chose to play with both Ian and Mickey, and he was apparently cool with that, no remorse involved at all. Ian felt the anger building up and he could feel his fist clench.

“You wanted him to go, right? All of this, it was just to get rid of him. You don’t even like me.“ Ian's cheeks were getting hotter by the second; he was probably red as hell right now.

“Yep. But I think the best part was when I convinced Mickey to leave.“ Kyle was way too relaxed for Ian’s taste.

Suddenly, the redhead stood up and grabbed him by his collar and put his face inches from the guy's face.

“You little piece of shit.“

He punched him in the face and was ready to go for another one when Jaime grabbed him by the waist and pulled him back. Kyle was smiling like a freak and his lower lip was bleeding hard.

“What the fuck is wrong with you??“ Jaime said and pushed Ian away from his brother.

Ian put his hands in the air to show he was done and went upstairs to pack his things. He didn’t have to stay in the Hamptons with these people. Nothing was keeping him here anymore.

…

Can you just calm down for a second?” Jaime said.

“Calm down? CALM DOWN?”

Mandy was hysterical, she was trying to cool it off, but in vain. Ian came to her room after diner and told her he was leaving. She tried to convince him no to until he told her what happened after she left.

“Did you know… I mean about Kyle and Mickey?”

“Kyle told me back then, but I didn’t know it was your brother. Guess Kyle just put the pieces together when Mickey showed up.” He said.

“So you didn’t know anything about your brother trying to mess with mine?”

“No, I did not.” Mandy ran her hand across her face, pacing nervously.

When she looked at her boyfriend, with his olympian calm, she knew there was something else. Jaime used to get that expression right before saying something he knew she wouldn’t like.

“What?” she said aggressively.

“I… want Ian to leave.”

“I’m sorry?”

“He’s not welcome anymore.”

“Don’t worry, he’s already packing.“

“I think you should go too. I’ll stay here with Kyle, figure out all this mess. But I think you and I could also benefit from a few days apart. I’ll pay for your plane tickets.”

Mandy looked at her boyfriend in shock, eyes wide open, but she couldn’t say anything. She was far from expecting that kind of reaction from him. With that, Jaime left her and went to Kyle’s room. When she turned around, Ian was looking at her with a sad face. Mandy went to his arms and let the tears flow.

…

A hour later, Mandy and Ian were in the Jitney that drove them to New York, where they had to catch their plane. Mandy didn’t say much. She looked through the window, lost in thoughts. Ian broke the silence.

“I’m sorry, you know.” He said. She didn’t answer.

“I would have never came if I knew-“

“None of this is your fault. You didn’t know about Mickey and Kyle, and Jaime made a choice.”

“Yeah, well that was pretty fucked up.”

“Yeah.”

She took his hand and squeezed it, she tried to smile but it was fake.

“I’m sorry about my brother too. I love him and all but maybe he’s just not the one for you Ian… Maybe you should just … Let go…” she said.

“Maybe you’re right. Except I really don’t have that feeling. You know me, I’ve never been a fucking fairy, never excepted too much from people but Mick… I don’t know. That seemed so right.”

“You’ve known him for a week Ian, how can you say?”

“I don’t know, I just ... I can feel it.”

 

When to people are meant to be together, something happens. It’s something inexplicable, something that you can’t touch or see. It doesn’t make it any less real. Things were so messed up right now that Ian should have concentrated on going back to Chicago, finding a job, respect his pills schedule, and just go on with his life. He should feel terrible about all that happened. But instead he felt calm, serein and he knew deep down, that he was going to see Mickey again. He could feel it in his heart. And the mere thought of it made him happy. Because yes, after a storm like that, good things are ahead. He was ready to take any risk. Any risk for Mickey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to know that I'm aware of the amount of angst i put into this, particularly the last chapter. It's just that, in order to prove my point (aka Gallavich is the real deal, period) I wanted them to go through upsettings things, miscommunication, and lack of objectivity. Ultimately, when they will get things right (and they will) I want them to acknowledge the fact that they are end game, no matter what. You get me or I'm being too evasive? Maybe I just didn't built things the way I should have, I don't know...


	13. Giving up is not part of my vocabulary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is supposed to be a little lighter than the previous ones, because all the gloom has to end. Rejoice my friend because we are heading to the good-fluffy-IloveGallavichSoMuch parts !! But also we're getting to the end of the story (probably 2 chapters left + epilogue)
> 
> Comments so much appreciated ! :)

Mickey was lying on his bed in his boxers, staring at the ceiling as if it held the answers to all of his problems. His hands were placed on his belly and the sheets have fallen on the floor hours ago. He just couldn’t sleep. He spent the last three hours rolling in bed, trying to find a position to fall asleep but nothing came. His eyes were burning and he was exhausted but nothing, not the half pack of smokes, the glasses of Jack Daniels on the rocks, nor the 50 push-ups he did helped. Every time he closed his eyes, he could see Ian's face.

 

All he wanted to do was sleep but something, a mocking force was preventing him from it. Hell, the memories became clearer and clearer by the minute. He closes his eyes and he saw black sweatpants falling on white perfect hipbones. Muscles from a perfect freckled back. Long, delicate, calloused hands holding a beer. A smile so bright that it made your heart ache and your stomach flip. A smile that makes you want to smile, just because. A fucking roller coaster if you asked him. Yeah, definitely some higher forces were mocking Mickey Milkovich. It’s been a week since he came back from the Hamptons. The drive home was so long it felt like an eternity. He only stopped once, in some kind of masochist way, at the diner he stopped with Ian. He ate a burger, drank a beer and even smiled at the waitress who flirted with Ian. He didn’t want to face the real reason he was nice with her. Somehow she was part of the story, the so-temporary story with the redhead. Despite the bitterness he felt, he wanted to preserve, even maybe cherish every single moment that were part of this insane week. So he smiled at her, sue him.

 

When he finally went back to his flat, the feeling of familiarity made him at ease. He had left a few beers in the fridge and a pizza in the freezer so he knew he would not have to go to the grocery store as soon as he came back. He was glad he did. He was glad to crash in his shitty sofa that didn’t changed a bit. But why would it have changed anyway? Well because if you ask him, everything has changed from the moment he met the redhead. Everything’s changed since the last time he opened a beer in that very same sofa. He hoped that being back to his routine would eventually erase the feeling of guilt. He could blame anyone he wanted but he was the only one who deceived Mandy and hurt Ian. It was all a joke though, because the benefit from being back faded away pretty quickly. Sure, on a daily basis, he felt good. He was pretty happy to be back at work. Curtis noticed that something was different but he was smart enough not to ask questions.

 

It was only in moments like this one, where he was alone in bed, trying to figure out what the hell he was doing that images of Ian came back to haunt him. That particular night you could say that Mickey had an illumination. For the first time he realized he was a coward. He ran away just like he did four years ago. The day he left he was cruel to Mandy, to Ian and truly he really didn’t care first. But what was he supposed to do except holding everything back, chin up and carry on with his life, crush the feelings he had inside? Sometimes he was about to call him and he just chickened out. He was making a big deal out of all of this. Mandy would eventually come along and Ian well, Ian and was someone he didn’t know two weeks ago. Yes he felt something. Yes he never felt it before. But let’s face it, this is real life we are not in some fucking fairytale. So fuck the apologies, fuck the guilt just please, just let him sleep.

 

Sometimes he would eventually because his body just had to give up. Some other time nothing worked. So yes in that moment he could not deny that he had a hole in his chest and yes it became wider and wider.

 

That night he was watching the TV. There was a lame soap opera going on. He was waiting for it to end because his favorite TV show began right after. Family guy was his favorite show because it was dumb and it didn’t require any capacity of understanding. On the screen a couple was fighting. Apparently the guy kissed his ex girlfriend. The woman was a mess, she was silently crying when the man told her he was sorry and that he loved her. She gave him the meanest look Mickey had ever seen and told him that “love isn’t always enough”. The guy, he just chuckled and unexpectedly told her “of course it is. You go on long enough without it and you just realize it is everything.” At this Mickey took the remote, hands shaking and heart beating fast, shut down the TV and went to bed. His meal was left on the counter table half eaten. The beer was not even open. He crawled in bed and closed his eyes, the words of the man on TV echoing in his mind. He just hoped what he felt would eventually pass.

 

…

 

There are many things you can say about Ian. You can say he’s passionate, carefree, sometimes mean when he’s hurt. When it comes to his family, he’s loyal, responsible and ready to do anything for any of them. Vee and Kev included. But one thing about him that some people (okay Lip) couldn’t stand was how stubborn he was. When Ian came back from the Hamptons, he was greeted with all the love by his siblings. Carl told him all about his week, the scams he put, the girl named Bonnie he met. Debbie, sweet Debbie told him about the club she was creating and the feedbacks she had so far. Everyone had something to say. Except Lip. Lip stayed silent all the way, arms crossed on his chest and a deadly look on. Ian decided to ignore him because he knew damn well that the confrontation was coming. For now, he just enjoyed being with his family that he missed. Lip was fuming of course because the older Gallagher boy was not used to be ignored like that, especially by his brother.

 

After an hour of this charade, he exploded and dragged Ian out. Ian muffled a noise and rolled his eyes but he followed his brother. Lip didn’t stop walking, he went straight to the L and Ian quickly understood why. Lip wanted to solve this old school, just like their grandmother told them to years ago. Fight it out, get an Alpha out of it. Ian shook his head, thinking that the situation was totally ridiculous. He didn’t want to fight his brother, he had no energy right now. Lip clenched his fist, looking straight at Ian. He didn’t expect his younger brother to come closer and hug him tight. His breathing was hard, and he was shaking. Lip’s mood changed automatically and he hugged his brother tight. After a few seconds, he let go and looked at him straight in the eyes, full with concern.

 

“Tell everything that happened” he said.

 

An hour or so after, they were still under the L and Ian had finally finished his story. He told Lip everything. Mickey, Kate, Mandy. The moods swings. The sex. Lip didn’t say a word during the whole thing but his mind was running fast. When Ian finally shut up, and looked at his brother expectantly, Lip chuckled. It was all so obvious to him, he didn’t even know why his brother was looking at him like that, as if he needed him to unravel the truth.

 

“If you had told me years ago that a Milkovich was a cocksucker I wouldn’t have believe you” he said, lighting a smoke

 

Ian gave him the look, be-fucking-serious-for-a-second-dickhead look, and Lip chuckled once more.

 

“You’re in love with him, for fuck’s sake” he finally said

 

Ian didn’t say anything, he was apparently too busy with his hands but his heart was pounding hard: his brother was so good at seeing right through him.

 

“Truth is, I never liked Mickey. Wrote papers for him when we were in high school but that was it. He was a dick really. But from what I heard from Mandy, and what I could see back then, he was the most decent Milkovich male. Not sure if it is enough for my baby bro though” he threw away the butt of his smoke with an expression of disgust. Yeah he was totally unwillingly picturing his brother and the famous thug going on at each other now.

 

“You don’t know him” Ian replied, eager to defend his lover

 

“And you do? Come on Ian you guys spent a few days together and you’re all Brokeback mountain on me! Jesus, you’re just so sweet sometimes.” Lip rolled his eyes at his brother, completely oblivious to what happened. Ian wasn’t discouraged though but determined to explain himself.

 

“Do you remember the night Mandy drove over Karen? You told me that the afternoon right before you were with Mandy. And you felt something. Indescribable. As if her leaving the room would hurt you, and you didn’t even know why. You ended things with Karen after  because you knew you had something worthy with Mandy.”

 

“I said that? That’s pretty unlikely” Lip snorted

 

“You also told that THIS was the strangest feeling you had ever felt and you would sell anything you have to have it back. You also said that you never felt it again”

 

“What’s your point?” Lip was loosing his patience. Of course he remembered, he was hammered and he felt epic that day. Sue him. He just didn’t expect his brother to remember the crap he said on a night he was obviously as drunk as a Frank (yes being a Frank being a thing).

 

“That feeling… every time I was with Mickey, I felt it. Like anything is possible, I can be whoever I want to be. And I need that right now Lip, I… I need him. I want to feel like this again.”

 

Lip lit up another cigarette and scratched his neck frantically. Meaning he was in deep thinking, possibly struggling right now. He let the smoke escape from his nose and ran a hand across his hair.

 

“You should go to Mandy. He’s her brother. She’ll know what to do.”

 

Philip Gallagher was not a love expert or anything. But he was a Gallagher. The siblings despite their difference, craved for the same thing. Love. That thing that they never truly had from their parents, that thing that was missing. They were afraid of it, but they were not stupid enough to run away from it. He could see in his brother’s eyes that he was dealing with the true stuff. Ian with his pure heart deserved it all, and Lip refused to be the one in the way of his lil’ bro’s happiness. No way.

 

 

…

 

“The apartment is fantastic Mands” Ian said

 

Five days after his conversation with Lip, Ian was in Jaime’s apartment in the north side. He was sitting on the couch, drinking a beer while Mandy was making sandwiches. Jaime still didn’t come back from the Hamptons. Thank god, because she still didn’t know what she wanted from him. He was right when he said that they needed space, but she still didn’t succeed in organizing his thoughts about this entire story. Getting drunk and playing Xbox with Ian was now the only thing she cared about.

 

“Yeah, totally freaked out the first time I came here. You should have seen Jaime’s mother face, she thought it was small! Rich bitch that she is”

 

Ian smiled widely at his best friend.

 

“So to what do I owe the pleasure of your company?” She said, opening her beer with a lighter.

 

“I need you to do something for me” Ian said a little bit nervous

 

“If you’re ashamed of buying your own lube, ask Lip, I’m not a maid.” She said grinning

 

“Very funny but, no. I… need you to tell me when Mickey’s off.”

 

Mandy stopped the drinking and looked quizzically at her best friend. He was obviously preparing something. And it smelled bad.

 

“Ian we talked about this-“

 

“No, you talked and I listened. And then I talked but you didn’t listen. I … I don’t want to give up, Mandy. And I’m not going to. Whether you help me or not.”

 

“What makes you feel it’ll work, huh? My brother is a fucking piece of art. He’s gonna break your heart. Trust me”

 

“But what does it say about me if I don’t try? I’m tired of being reasonable all the time, Mands. Because of my... condition, I can’t drink what I want, I can’t smoking how I want. I have to exercise daily, not because I want to but because it keeps me balanced. Every day at the same time, I gotta take my pills so I don’t get episodes. My life is a fucking clean schedule. What I want is something… exhilarating, that makes me feel free. That’s what your brother made me feel”

 

“But-“

 

“No buts, Mands. I gotta try. This (he placed his right hand on his heart) is real. I can feel it. Mickey might be in my life since a few weeks but what I feel is real. And nothing is going to change that. I will not be a coward on this.”

 

Mandy was overwhelmed by Ian’s speech. All her life, she had wanted to hear someone say something like that about her. And just like that, Ian showed up, and told her all this stuff. Except it was her brother that made him feel that way. Oh irony. Jaime never made her feel this way. _But Lip did_ , she thought. _Oh shut up inner voice, will you_.

 

….

 

It was 10 a.m. and Mickey was exhausted again. He didn’t have much sleep the night before. Thank god, it was his day off. He wanted to stay in bed all day, catching up with some sleep but his apartment was a mess. Cans and bottles of beer could be found anywhere in the place (no seriously, there was one in the bathroom, on the sink) and he had nothing to eat. So he gathered his shit and began the cleaning. It took him 3 hours to make it decent if anyone showed up uninvited (but let’s be honest unless it was Mandy he would never let anyone pass that threshold. A fuck off would be it).

 

He took a quick shower and grabbed a pair of pants, the only one he got left. Because yes, he also had a LOT of laundry to do. He looked for a clean tee shirt with no success at all. Then he remembered. Still in his bag from the week, there was a shirt that wasn’t his. He grabbed it when he left and didn’t pay attention. Ian’s shirt didn’t smell like Ian anymore, the fourteen-hour drive in Mickey’s bags, full of Mickey’s scent made it disappear but still. It was Ian’s shirt. V neck, black, short sleeves and a large print in the middle that said “ What’s wrong with fun?”. He remembered the night the redhead wore it, Mickey told him it was probably “in the less subtle way, the gayest shirt he had ever seen”. Ian laughed but didn’t say anything, too busy to shake his head in amusement. How did the fucking tee shirt end up in Mickey’s room in the first place? No idea. Maybe it was in the bathroom, Ian left it there and Mickey grabbed his things so quickly that he didn’t even think for a second that all the things that were there weren’t his.

 

Anyway, after a few seconds, he surrendered and put the tee shirt on. It was not the brightest idea he ever had, since he was trying to get Ian out of his system, and not getting into his clothes, but hey, emergency call. He took his wallet and his keys and left for the grocery store. It took him an hour and a half to get everything he needed, pack of smokes included. He mumbled insults towards every person who had the audacity of even skim him. All he wanted was a beer, a slice of pizza and a joint to calm his nerves. A Milkovich ain’t the nicest person when he got his 10 hours of sleep but when he gets only 3 or 4… Just don’t get in the way.

 

He was back to his building now, and his arms were full of grocery bags, he could barely walk. He managed to retrieve his keys from his pocket and stuck his pinky in the key chain but it wasn’t nice to see: he looked like an idiot. He climbed up the first two floors when the keys fell and he cursed loudly, oblivious to his neighbors.

 

“Fucking shitty day. Fuck fuck fuck”

 

He bent down to catch the keys and placed them again on his pinky. But when he looked up, ready to climb the last steps that led to his apartment, he ended face to face with a certain redhead. Ian was there, in front of him, in Woodstock, Illinois.

 

“You’re wearing my shirt” he said.

 

**Oh boy.**


	14. I just wanna be loved by you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So THANK YOU a billion times to Pens, who proposed to beta this chapter  
> XO

“You gonna fucking help me or what?” Mickey was slightly red, but better to hide his surprise aggressively rather than looking at Ian as a fucking idiot.

 

Ian climbed down the few stairs between Mickey and himself and took the keys, one of the bags and the pack of beer. He shook his head, thinking to himself that the line that Mickey threw at him was very Milkovich-y, and he missed it, dammit. Ian stopped on the third floor, watching the two doors.

 

“Left one” Mickey said in his back. “Hurry up, I gotta pee and this is fucking heavy.“

 

Ian obliged, put the key in the door lock and opened the door to Mickey’s place. It was pretty much like he imagined it. There was a living room on the right with a big TV and a sofa but not much decoration, except for Mickey’s sketches on the wall. On the left, a kitchen with a bar as dining table, and no doors to separate the two rooms. In the back, there was a tiny corridor, probably leading to the other places. But for now, Ian could only think that he was in Mickey Milkovich’s nest, and that he was fucking proud of himself.

 

“Wait a second, how did you even know which floor I live?” Mickey said

 

Ian didn’t even look at him, too busy checking out the place.

 

“It’s written on your mail box, man“

 

“Right…Want a beer?” Mickey said. Under the false courtesy and the insults, Mickey was agitated as fuck. He wanted to ask Ian why was he was there, what he wanted, why he still had his clothes on… A lot of questions went through his mind. But no, instead he played it casual as if it was the most natural thing on earth to have the redhead analyzing his living room right now.

 

“Yeah that’d be nice. You have a pretty cool place“ Ian said.

 

Ian wasn’t as nervous as Mickey, but his head was spinning. He spent 2 hours (the time it took him to get there) trying to come up with an explanation but he had nothing. When he entered the town he was pretty sure that the truth was not such a bad choice. _Hi, I know we haven’t seen each other for a while but I think I may be in love with you, and since I can’t stop thinking about you, I thought, why not just come and figure this out?_ Yeah, brilliant.

 

“Thanks man.” Ian said. Mickey rolled the bottle of beer in his hand, clearly embarrassed.

 

“Look, I’m sorry about … what I did last time we spoke. The things I said... you didn’t deserve it. And this thing with Kyle, jesus I don’t even remember that.”

 

“Mandy told you?”

 

“Yeah, she did. I was a fucking piece of shit back then man, I don’t even remember going to that club.”

 

“It doesn’t matter, you know. After all these years, he should have moved on. And if not, confront you openly, not messing around with us.”

 

“Yeah well, I would have done the same, maybe even worst actually. I would have knocked his teeth out, probably bled him to death.” Mickey chuckled, because now he was joking. Back then, not so much.

 

“Still a charming person, Mick”

 

“Yeah, Yeah. Shut your hole, and take a goddam joystick, we gonna play some Destiny”

 

Ian smiled at him, and took the said joystick. He put his feet on the table and glanced at Mickey from time to time, a little smirk on his face. Mickey tried no to look too much at Ian, because he was still tense as fuck.

 

From a realistic point of view, the situation was pretty unbelievable. These two hadn’t exchanged a word for weeks, and Ian had just needed to show up and help Mickey with the groceries to get a seat and a fresh beer. Ian didn’t come to talk about Kyle. He didn’t want to talk about Mickey leaving the Hamptons without a very much deserved explanation and/or apology. He came because he wanted to see Mickey. He wanted to spend time with him, get the chance somehow, at some point to grab his hand and hold it tight.

 

Ian wasn’t alone in this. Mickey could have easily told him to fuck off and never come back. A normal person would have asked immediately _why are you here? What do you want?  
_

But no, Mickey went with the flow, pretended that all of this was normal. Because he craved for Ian’s presence as much as Ian craved his. A misplaced word, a little insinuation could break it all. So no, they just decided to pretend for a while, and enjoy the fact that, for the first time since the night on the parking lot diner, they were alone, unafraid to be surprised, free and together.

 

For hours, they played video games, but they didn’t talk so much. Mickey had had a few beers and was feeling a bit tipsy. Usually he could handle his liquor but these days with less than four hours a night, he was not so strong with alcohol. Ian was tipsy too, even if he hadn’t had as much as Mickey. At some point, Mickey realized that it was late, and that he had to go to work the next day. He let Ian crash on his couch (thank god because the redhead had not planned any sleeping arrangement) and went to his room to get some sleep. He was less agitated than the other nights, probably because the subject of his agitation was sleeping few steps away, but he wasn’t calm either. Many times over the course of the night, he had thought about making a move. Just get closer, put his thigh a little closer to Ian’s, maybe touch him and pretend he was trying to mess with his game. But he didn’t do anything. Ian didn’t try anything either and Mickey couldn’t stop wondering why. _Maybe because you two are fucking cowards_ , the inner voice said. Fuck.

 

Mickey got up to get something to drink, a glass of water, a whisky maybe. He didn’t want to wake up Ian but he could not see anything when the lights were off. He took his phone to have some light and went to the kitchen, hoping that the redhead was profoundly asleep. Once in his kitchen, he went for the bottle of Jack because let’s be honest a drink wouldn’t kill him and he needed it. He was looking for a glass in the cupboard when the lights went on.

 

“Can’t sleep?” Ian said.

 

“Yeah …”

 

“Me neither”

 

Ian was only wearing his shirt and his boxers, and Mickey did all he could not to stare. But let’s face it, when a guy as hot as Ian is in your kitchen wearing only this, you stare, you can’t help it. Now that Ian was there, Mickey didn’t want the whiskey so much. Nope. Maybe it was because it was late, and sometimes in the dark hours of the night, reality seems to disappear and you end up doing things that you may regret in the morning. But in these moments, you usually go for what you want, you erase the obstacles and the things that bugs and you just go for it. At this insane hour of the night, Mickey went for that.

 

He put down the glass, and drew closer to Ian, his heart beating too fast and his palms sweaty. He took a step further, now only inches from Ian who seemed to be still half asleep. When he realized what was happening, the redhead arched his eyebrows, let the surprise sink in, and close the small gap between his lover and himself. Mickey put his right hand on Ian’s cheek and the other on his waist and finally looked up at the boy he had in front of him. He put his lips on Ian’s slowly and so gently, it made Ian shiver. The contact was at the same time so familiar and so distant that Ian thought for a second that he was still sleeping.

 

He put both hands in Mickey’s hair, grabbing it and let himself appreciate getting back his Milkovich. He pressed his lips a little harder on Mickey’s and smiled at the grunt they both let escape. Mickey wanted more though. He pressed his body harder against Ian, and started massaging his back, he was so happy to touch him, feel him under his hands, it was almost painful. Ian got the signal and deepened the kiss, letting his tongue slide into Mickey’s mouth. He explored it as if it was sacred, as if a simple kiss could make his entire world better. For what seemed an eternity, they kissed passionately, never getting tired of the other. Hands exploring every inch of the other’s body, as if they were memorizing each other. They only broke apart to breathe and couldn’t stay away from each other’s touch for more than a few seconds.

After a while, Ian stepped back to take off his shirt and Mickey looked at him in wonder, realizing with each seconds passing that this was what he wanted right from the beginning. He wanted this forever. Come home to Ian every night, kiss him until his jaw hurt and say stupid things that he swore he’d never say. Ian was now kissing his neck and his jaw, leaving a trail of wet kisses and pressing his crotch against Mickey’s. Mickey was aware that Ian was getting hard by the second but he couldn’t do that tonight. He was so exhausted, he would not last long and he didn’t want his first time with Ian in weeks to be like that. He got out of Ian’s hold, and took his hand to lead him to his bedroom. Once they got there, Mickey laid down and waited for Ian to do the same. Ian got to the bed and kissed him again, eager to go to the next level but Mickey hushed him and took his hands in his.

 

“Not now… I… wanna sleep.“

 

The hurt on Ian’s face made Mickey’s guts twist, and he brought Ian closer to him, holding him tight. Ian put his face against Mickey’s torso, and curled up against him.

 

“It’s just… I’m fucking tired, man” Mickey said

 

“That’s okay, I can do with that.“

 

“Goodnight firecrotch”

 

“Goodnight, Mick.”

 

That night Mickey slept eight hours straight, without dreams, as if Ian was some kind of human dream catcher. The redhead made him feel safe and happy, insecure and fragile at the same time. Mickey fucking loved it.

**...**

 

The next morning, Mickey woke up, and he was hot. He didn’t realize right away that the reason was a certain redhead, pressed up against his body with all his weight. He tried to move but Ian was so tangled with him that it was impossible. He was even having a hard time stating which leg was his. He heard a muffled noise; Ian was slowly waking up in all his glory. Mickey looked at all the freckles spread on his body, the tattoo on his ribs, the scars here and there. Suddenly, he figured out the best way to wake Ian up. He pressed up small kisses on Ian’s neck, and left the beginning of a hickey right under his jaw. With his free hand (the only member he could actually move) he grabbed Ian’s ass and started massaging it. Ian, eyes still closed, smiled widely and started moving to free Mickey of his hold.

 

“Hi” he said

 

“Hey, mumbles”

 

Ian kissed him passionately as if they never ended last night kiss, and rubbed his body against Mickey slowly. He caressed his strong arms with a firm hand and Mickey could feel the hunger growing within him. Ian finally opened his eyes, filled with lust and the sight he had didn’t make things better. Mickey was looking at him with the same look he had, face flushed. Ian wondered how someone could have such deep blue eyes, eyes that said it all. They slowly took their clothes off, lips glued together.

 

“You have no idea how much I wanted this“ Ian said

 

Mickey let escape a sharp breath, and took off Ian’s boxer. He wanted to say _'Yeah me too, from the moment I got in my car that fucking day_ ' but he couldn’t yet. Instead he decided to do what he could do, which was showing Ian how he felt by his actions. Actions were always his way of proving things. Mickey pushed back Ian, so he was fully lying on the bed, and kissed him from his mouth to his crotch, blue eyes never leaving green. Once he got there, he took Ian in his mouth and gave his entire attention to what he wanted to be the best blowjob in the history of blowjobs. Looking at Ian, it was pretty obvious that the bet was won. Ian’s body arched under Mickey’s ministrations and he felt like his skin was on fire. He put his hands on Mickey shoulders, and hissed without noticing. All of this was way too good, and he was close. But he didn’t want to end like this, not without feeling Mickey entirely.

 

“Mick, stop it. Come here” he said squeezing his shoulders.

 

Mickey let go of Ian with a loud pop, and a devilish grin on his face, apparently very proud of himself. Ian got up on his knees and went behind Mickey to get to work as Mickey took the lube and a condom from the drawer but Mickey made a weird face.

 

“What? Somethin’ wrong?” Ian asked.

 

“No it’s just… let’s do it like last time.”

 

Ian looked at him wide-eyed, but got pretty quickly from the surprise.

 

“Yeah let’s do that.”

 

Mickey laid down on his back, eyes never leaving Ian and let the redhead place himself between his open legs. Ian prepped him quickly, loving the noises he pulled out of the blue-eyed boy. Once he was sure Mickey was ready, he lubed himself and put on the condom, then he grabbed Mickey’s hips and pushed in slowly.

 

“Fuuuuck” Ian groaned

 

He gave Mickey some time to adjust and started to move slowly at first then much faster, enjoying each second passing. Mickey was digging his nails into Ian’s back and leaving marks whereas Ian was definitely giving him bruises. Just like the last time they were together, fucking 4th of July fireworks were playing above their heads. Unsteady breaths, grunts and muffled noises were the only things that could be heard.

Ian had his head in the crook of Mickey’s neck but Mickey wanted to see Ian's face. He forcefully took his head away and kissed him, biting Ian’s lower lip, sucking it as it wasn’t swollen enough. It made Ian go even faster and when Mickey reached his orgasm, whispering his name, Ian followed quickly enough.

 

**…**

 

When Ian woke two hours after that, he was alone in bed. He could smell coffee and realized it was 4 in the afternoon. What, already?

 

“I left you a cup of coffee in the kitchen.”

 

Ian turned back to see Mickey fully dressed, obviously ready to go to work.

 

“I gotta go, I’m already late, my boss is gonna fucking kill me for this.”

 

“Yeah, no problem.”

 

Mickey was quite uncomfortable, not really happy to leave the redhead so abruptly in his apartment after what happened.

 

“I’ll see you later, I guess.”

 

Ian got out of the bed, fully naked and walked toward Mickey with a grin on his face, fucking sparkles in his far too green eyes. He purposely brushed his naked body against Mickey and went to the bathroom.

 

“Definitely.”

 

Mickey stared at his ass all the way until the redhead disappeared into his bathroom. Once the door was closed, he shook his head and went to the door, wondering how this happened in a first place.

 


	15. let's find our way back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah it's me again! Thanks to Pens, my partner in beta crime, who did a wonderful job with this. Hope you like it !

Mandy was in her living room, smoking a fifth cigarette. Jaime hadn’t called, neither Ian nor Mickey. She was feeling on edge, not because she knew what was in store for her, but because she made a strange promise weeks ago and she had to keep it. She didn’t even know why it was so important to her, because who cares about a promise made to a momentarily drunk-Gallagher? It wasn’t really the promise that made her grab her jacket and her pack of smokes, she wanted to see Lip Gallagher like hell, and she didn’t even know why… or at least she pretended not to know.

 

When Lip heard the doorbell, he was stuck under Carl’s bed, looking for knifes and ninja stars. The dust under the bed made his eyes water, some kind of allergic reaction. He rubbed his eyes with his palms, and went downstairs to check out who it was. When he opened the door, and faced Mandy, the look on her face scared him.

 

“You okay?” he said, taking her hand.

“Are you?” she said squeezing it.

“I asked first.” He gave her one of his famous bright smiles, the kind that always made Mandy’s heart melt.

“I’m fine. Just a little bit worried about our brothers, but otherwise I’m good. Ian didn’t call you, did he?”

“Nope. Sent a text to say he was alright, but nothing more.”

 

Lip stared at her for a moment, not realizing that they still were at the door steps when he should have invited her in. Besides that time in the store, he hadn’t seen her for a while and he was taking in how beautiful she was. She used to wear far more make up when they dated. Now, with only some pale pink lipstick on, you could see how pale her skin was, how blue and deep her eyes were. Mandy was truly beautiful.

 

“Sorry, just ugh… come on in.”

 

Mandy stepped in and took off her jacket. She put it on the couch and went ahead to the kitchen. The place hadn’t changed a bit since the last time she came. It was a mess mostly but it was comforting. There was always a particular atmosphere in the Gallagher household; the place could be turned upside down, filled with screams and noises and yet, you felt safe. No wonder Mandy loved spending time here back then. Her home was the opposite of Lip’s.

 

Lip and Mandy talked about what happened in the Hamptons for about an hour. Lip, as the big, protective brother, wanted to know if he had to worry for Ian, he wanted to be sure that Ian wasn’t pulling “A Monica” or even worse, but Mandy proved to be nothing but reassuring. She just told him that Ian needed to escape, to feel free for a while. The Hamptons was his opportunity to spend time with people his own age, without thinking about being bipolar every fucking minute. And of course, Mickey got added to the equation.

 

“If you had told me few years ago that my little brother would ended up with your big brother…” Lip said.

“Yeah, kind of weird, right? I still can’t believe it took me so long to realize. I was probably too sucked up in my own mess.”

 

Lip stood up and opened the fridge to get two beers. He handed one to Mandy and sat back, scratching his jaw.

 

“The worst part is that within a week, I lost my boyfriend, my job and my apartment for nothing. It is just too fucked up.”

“I thought you and Jamie were still together…"

“Technically we are, but I am pretty sure we both realized that … we just don’t belong, you know. It was nice the time it lasted but all of this was maybe just … convenient. I need to figure things out by myself I guess.”

 

Mandy was rubbing her hands and didn’t look at Lip. She didn’t want to say that being with Ian for an entire week made her feel so nostalgic of those moments they spent together in the Southside. She didn’t want to know that her relationship with Jaime could never work as long as she expected to be with someone more like herself, more like Lip. Coming here was just another confirmation that she wasn’t with the right person. 

She finished her beer and stood up, ready to go when Lip grabbed her arm. She looked up at him quizzically, waiting for him to say something. Lip bit his lips, obviously embarrassed but looked her straight in the eyes.

 

 “I want to thank you, you know for being there for Ian when he needed you. After all that’s happened in his life lately, he needed to have someone like you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, he is my bestfriend.”

“I know, but still.”

 

Lip didn’t let go of Mandy’s arms and something in the air changed. It was filled with a strong sexual tension, something that Mandy had not experienced for a long time. Lip’s touch was burning her skin and she wanted to take a few steps to fill the gap between them, hold him close for a minute. It was Lip, against all odds, who got closer. He pressed a soft kiss on Mandy’s cheek and finally let go. His gaze was soft, filled with such affection that Mandy could barely stand it. She went to the door and looked back, only to see Lip leaning against the kitchen stall counter, watching her intently.

 

 

“I’ll see you right?” his tone was full of hope.

 “Yeah, I’ll come around.” She said with a smile. "Bye Lip."

 

Once she left the house, she felt less on edge than before, way calmer than when she left the apartment. She wanted to hate Lip for being the only one on earth who had the capacity to change her mood like that. The problem was that Mandy never hated Lip. Never had, never will.

 

**…**

 

When Mickey got out of work, he was tense, because he knew he would come back home to find a Gallagher, probably lying on the couch, watching something on television. He wanted Ian to be there, sure, but he didn’t know what to expect from this visit: he was afraid to spend time with him, enjoy every single moment of it, and then watch him go back to Chicago. What good would it make for him to have a glimpse at happiness, if he could never have it completely? Ian was still living with his siblings and Mickey had a whole new life for himself, besides, he knew nothing about relationships and wasn’t too eager to try one of those if it meant long distance crap.

 

When he opened the door of his apartment, Ian was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a magazine. When he saw Mickey, his face lit up and he gave Mickey a huge smile.

 

“Hey!”

 

“What’s up, firecrotch?” Mickey asked nervously. He was trying to be casual and cocky to hide his embarrassment but he could not fool Ian, who apparently had the ability to see right through him.

“Made you dinner, don’t know if they feed you at the restaurant.”

“Nice.”

 

Mickey went to the sink to pour himself a glass of water and Ian was behind him a second after. The redhead pressed his nose to Mickey’s neck, sniffing the older man. He pressed his body against Mickey’s so every inch of their bodies were in contact.

 

“What are you doing?” Mickey was half-irritated, half-amused, because Ian’s nose was brushing against his skin and it tickled.

“I like how you smell.” Ian said

 

Mickey turned around and kissed Ian. The anxiety he felt disappeared quickly after he got into his place; just seeing Ian there, waiting for his return, made something for him. He wondered what it would be like to commit to Ian, to spend his days off, cuddling in his couch, making out with his lover. It didn’t seem so bad to Mickey. They kissed for a while, as if they hadn’t seen each other in weeks, when really it was only hours ago, Mickey let his hand wander under Ian’s shirt, feeling the muscles and the little scars he had, Ian gently caressed Mickey’s cheeks, loving how such a tough guy could have skin so soft. Mickey playfully pushed Ian away to get to the fridge and took the plate the redhead made him earlier. Ian pouted a little but finally smiled at him, and took two beers to go with it and they went to the living room. Mickey ate his entire plate very quickly, and went to the kitchen to throw it in the sink. When he came back, he sat very close to Ian, who chose not to say something because he knew Mickey wouldn’t appreciate it.

 

“You plan on staying a while?” Mickey asked.

“I don’t know, depends.” Ian said, sipping at his beer.

 

God, he needed courage, and Mickey just offered him the perfect breach to start the conversation he wanted to have since he decided to come here.

 

“Depends on what?” Mickey said, apparently not catching onto where this was going.

“You, of course.”

 

Ian bit his lower lip, a habit he surely did take from Mickey without even noticing. Yeah, he could tell the truth, and take the risk of being thrown out by the Milkovich boy. Or he could play it safe, say something flirty and get into Mickey’s pants within minutes. But then what? Waking up tomorrow morning, gathering his clothes and leaving as if he just came for a fun weekend? Yeah, no way.

 

“I came because I like you.”

 

Mickey sighed, rubbed his noise and sighed again.

 

“What do you expect from me huh? I ain’t a drama queen, Gallagher.”

“Because I am?”

“Yeah pretty much.” Mickey let escape a muffled laugh and looked away, aware that he had a small smile on his face. He stood up to go grab another beer, because he didn’t want to have this conversation: Ian’s visit so far was nice, no need to get things complicated. But Ian seemed to read his fucking mind and he had no intention to leave things as they were.

 

“We’ll have to talk about it eventually.” he said loudly, loud enough for Mickey to hear him from the kitchen. Mickey didn’t reply and took his sweet time to go back to the living room.

“You heard me.” Ian said.

 

Mickey opened his beer with his teeth, completely ignoring Ian and watching the TV as if he was alone.

 

“Right, I forgot how much of a pussy you can be sometimes.” Ian said, totally aware that he was provoking the older boy.

“Fuck you, you don’t know squat.”

“I know that you’re gay, and you like me. Which is good, because I like you too, Mick.”

 

Mickey rolled his eyes at him, giving him the silence treatment. He was hoping Ian would give up and just play along. Ian was having none of that, he came here to get answers, whether or not it was right to turn his world upside down for a guy he met not that long ago. He took the remote and shut off the TV.

 

“What the fuck, Gallagher?” Mickey exclaimed.

“I wanna know. Was it a mistake to come here? Don’t you want what I want?”

“The fuck is that supposed to mean, huh? You’re the one who showed up here!”

 

Mickey stood up to grab something way stronger than beer, and he was not even surprised when Ian followed.

 

“Jesus, you’re such a pussy sometimes. Just tell me how you feel about me! That’s not so complicated for fuck’s sake!”

 

“You want me to tell you how I fucking feel? I feel scared, Ian. You fucking scare me. You just show up here, telling me all this and what? What do you expect from me, huh? Maybe grand gesture and PDA is your thing but that ain’t mine. I don’t know how to do that! Shit, I don’t even know why we’re having this conversation…”

“Because I believe you’re worth it, Mick“

“See? Again with deep shit and fucking-”

“Shut the fuck up for a second, will you? I’m here because I know what I want. But I also know my fucking limits, Mick. I’m not gonna chase after you forever.”

 

Ian was facing Mickey, waiting for something, a word, a grunt, anything. But Mickey was right in front of him, eyes looking anywhere but at him. He was biting his lower lip so hard it hurt like a bitch. Ian breathed out in exasperation and closed his eyes. So this was it, right? He was at least at peace with himself, he tried. Mickey wasn’t ready, it had nothing to do with him.

 

He was about to give up when Mickey grabbed his forearm and pulled him close. He gripped the back of Ian’s neck and pulled him down so their lips were hovering over each other’s. He kept looking Ian in the eyes, almost afraid to break the contact and lose the little bit of courage he just found in himself. His breathing was jerky, and he felt so tense he could feel the waves of adrenaline running through his body. Finally, he gently pressed his lips to Ian’s and closed his eyes. He wanted to enjoy the moment, that perfect moment, just let go for once, accept that nobody’s perfect, that he is far from perfect but maybe, just maybe he deserved to be loved.

 

Ian was ecstatic: it felt like fireworks, bright flashes of blue and red all over the place. The sensation was probably the greatest he had ever experienced and he wanted to burst in joy under Mickey’s touch. He tightened the grip he had on the back of Mickey’s neck and deepened the kiss to explore Mickey’s mouth with his tongue, so softly and so gently he couldn’t even recall being that gentle in his entire life. The way his hands started to explore Mickey’s body was, on the contrary, almost violent. He wanted to tear his shirt apart, and just visually eat his sculpted arms, feel his bare torso against his palms. He ran one hand through Mickey’s hair and thought that it was as soft as silk, not long enough for his taste, but it smelled… just like Mickey: cheap cologne, cigarettes and that thing, quite indescribable, that was just Mickey.

 

“I want this… I just don’t know how to do it.” Mickey whispered

 

With that, he placed his face in the crook of Ian’s neck and let his shoulders fall, like the weight he was caring this all time had just disappeared. Ian, as if he knew exactly what to do, placed his hands on Mickey’s back and held him up. They just fitted so perfectly.

 

“We’ll just have to work on that then.” With that, Ian tightened his grip and closed his eyes: this was a promise he planned on keeping like forever. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're heading to the part where I can't fight my Gallavich feelings anymore. Watch out !


	16. I just love everything about you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So one last chapter before this fic is over! Thanks to Pens, for making this so good I'm really happy with this!

Ian was at the Chicago train station, waiting for a bus to get to Mandy’s apartment. He just got back from Woodstock and the place was crowded, just like the day he met Mickey for the first time. He remembered how excited he was to go to The Hamptons, and to have found a way cheaper than train to make his journey. He could see very clearly the way Mickey looked that day, with his fingerless gloves and his grumpy face, like he was ready to kill anyone who’d look at him. He also remembered shaking his hand and thinking to himself _whoa, this guy is cute_ but he didn’t say anything of course, as if even back then, he could tell Mickey was not the kind of guy you call “cute” without a death wish. Ian was brought back to reality by the opening of the bus door in front of him and he got on with a huge smile on his face, because everything he had hoped from this weekend away from the South side had happened, and it was real: Mickey Milkovich was now his.

…

Mandy was pacing around the apartment, waiting for Jaime to arrive: she got a text earlier from him to say that he was coming over to talk. She pretty much knew how it would eventually end, but she didn’t want to face him right now, not ever, actually, because Jaime had acted like a jerk, but she was also to blame. Her reason to end the relationship had nothing to do with what had happened during the week in The Hamptons; it was way more profound than that: she hated herself for choosing a stable relationship (no drama, but no butterflies either) over the real shit, but now that she had come to realize that Jaime was not enough, she couldn’t possibly stay with him. Going back to the South side was not an option, the idea made her feel sick, but since she managed to save money these past three years, it didn’t seem impossible; nevertheless, she was not sure it would be enough, since she needed a new place to live when she was about to join the ranks of the unemployed. The door opened without her noticing, and she turned back at the sound of something hitting the floor: Jaime was in the living room, his bag at his feet and his keys in hand.

 

“Hey.” he said

“Hi.”

 

They looked at each other, clearly embarrassed and not knowing what to say; Mandy’s heart was beating fast, she was fiddling with her hands and biting her lower lip in stress.

 

“How have you been?” Jaime asked.

“I’m fine. You?”

“I’m okay.”

 

Jamie put the keys on the counter, took off his jacket and went to the kitchen. Mandy followed him and sat at the barstool, still quiet. He grabbed a beer and leaned against the fridge.

 

“You don’t have to do this you know.“ Jaime was looking into his bottle as if it held the secret of how to make this conversation easier, but it was obvious there was no way around the awkwardness.

 

“Do what?” Mandy asked

“Break up with me.” Jaime was looking at her now, with a look of defeat on his face.

“We both know it’s the right thing to do…”

“I don’t.” Jaime said hopefully. “Just because our brothers don’t like each other, doesn’t mean we have to deal with it. I’m sure-“

“Kyle and Mickey have nothing to do with it.”

Jaime placed his beer on the counter and walked around the table to face Mandy, he took her hand in his and looked her in the eyes.

 

“I’m not enough, am I?” he chuckled sadly as if he knew all along.

“Don’t say that! You’re plenty enough, it’s me I… don’t fit here.”

 

Mandy gestured around the apartment as she said “here”, as if to demonstrate the gap between his life and herself.

 

Jaime sighed and rubbed his face nervously. He turned around and went to his room, leaving Mandy in the kitchen. She didn’t remember the last time she felt so horrible; this time, she was the bad guy, the one who broke a heart.

When Jaime reappeared, he had a bag pack on his shoulder, and his pillow under his arm.

 

“I’m gonna stay at my parents’ house until you find a place to live.”

 

He placed a small kiss on her cheek, and grabbed his keys. Right before he left, he turned around to look at her one last time and said:

 

“Somehow, I always knew you’d leave me one day. I’m not gonna fight, I can see your mind is set but… I wish it didn’t hurt so fucking much.”

“I’m so sorry…” Mandy was on the verge of crying, she was overwhelmed by Jaime’s reaction to the whole conversation, it seemed so unreal she barely knew what was happening.

“Yeah, me too.”

 

Just like that, Jaime was gone.

…

Ian arrived at Mandy’s place just in time to see Jaime leaving in a cab. Somehow, his instinct had driven him to go to her place first thing, and he knew he had made the right decision. When Mandy opened the door, she was sobbing, and seeing Ian didn’t make it better; he held her close and they stayed at the door for a minute, in each other’s arms. They finally got into the apartment and lay down on the couch, not saying a word, because Mandy didn’t really want to talk about it: instead, she asked Ian how his weekend went.

 

“It was fine.” Ian said, but his smile betrayed him.

“Come on, tell me more.” Mandy encouraged him.

 

She pinched his thigh slightly to make him spill the beans; curiosity was eating her alive and it was a good way not to think about everything else. Ian sighed and smiled at her, he knew she would be happy for him but he didn’t want to show how excited he was when she had just broken up with her boyfriend. Mandy seemed to read his mind and pinched him hard.

 

“I’m okay tell me.”

 

Ian took a deep breath and went for the truth, because he knew Mandy might be the only person he could share this with.

 

“I think I’m love with him.”

 

Mandy stared at him fondly; she took his hand and squeezed it, happy for Ian, but more than anything, happy for her brother. She never considered him a lost cause, but she knew that was the way Mickey felt about himself; knowing that he had found someone as good as Ian cheered her up a little.

 

Ian was glad he had that off his chest; the words had been stuck his throat since he left Mickey earlier in the day, and he could swear that they were now carved into his skin, right above his heart. He fought the urge to say those words to Mickey, he didn’t think they were there yet, but it felt good to say them aloud; being with Mickey made him feel so lovesick; saying it at loud to another Milkovich was the best compromise he could get.

 

“I assume it went well, then.“

 

Ian chuckled and massaged his neck, a thing he did when he was embarrassed.

 

“Yeah, it was great.“

“Spare me the details, please. I don’t want to hear about my brother’s dick.“

 

Ian tickled her to make her shut up and when she stopped giggling like a schoolgirl, he took the remote and launched a rerun of Supernatural, one of Mandy’s favorite TV shows; he went to the kitchen to grab them beers and chips and sat back with her, hoping to lighten Mandy’s mood and make her forget about her day. 

…

_A week later_

 

Mickey ran into the staff room to grab his things as fast as possible; Ian was waiting for him at his place, locked out of course since he didn’t have the key and he wouldn’t stop texting Mickey to hurry. Mickey put on a hoodie and grumbled when he felt his phone buzzing in his back pocket again: Ian was an impatient fucker. He rushed out of the restaurant, hopped in his car and drove to his place as fast as he could. To be honest, Mickey was also very impatient to see Ian; the week had gone by very slowly, slower than usual even if he had taken extra shifts, but he missed his Gallagher a lot. They texted, but Mickey dodged the phone calls because he was not a chit chat person and it was even worse over the phone; it made him feel awkward because he never knew what to say. Once he turned onto his street, he parked in front of the tattoo shop and practically ran to his place. He found Ian sitting on the floor, his back against the door, texting frantically.

 

“I’m here, stop texting me, fucktwat.”

 

Ian looked up and smiled widely at him, he got up and leaned against the door seductively, running his tongue over his lip and approached Mickey like a predator.

 

“I’m glad to see you too.” Ian leaned over to press his lips on his but Mickey stepped back, eyebrows arched and put his hand on his chest.

 

“Come on, not here.”

 

He took his keys in his pocket and unlocked the door to let them into the apartment. Ian dropped his bag on the floor and went to the living room to fall onto the couch lazily. Mickey took two beers plus the little bag of weed he hid in the kitchen and joined Ian in the living room. The redhead seemed upset, but Mickey didn’t realize until he tried to touch Ian and got stopped.

 

“What?” he said, surprised.

“Just wondering if it’s allowed in here.” Ian said sarcastically.

 

Mickey knew he was talking about him stepping away minutes ago, but he didn’t want to fight.

 

“Come on, don’t be like that.” Mickey pouted a little, and managed to make Ian crack a smile. He leaned towards him and pressed his lips against his softly; Ian responded automatically and ran his hand through Mickey’s hair, but it was sticky and dry. Ian broke the kiss and smiled at him.

 

“You need to stop putting that much gel in your hair.”

“Shut up.”

 

Mickey pulled Ian into a kiss to make him shut up, and the younger man stopped complaining instantly. They made out for a while, happy to be together again since the week had been even harder for Ian than Mickey, who spent it as usual, taking care of things at the Gallagher household, except he couldn’t focus on anything since everything made him think about Mickey. Anyway, now that he was where he wanted to be, he was calm and content, and nothing could ruin his mood. They didn’t do much that night except for the make out sessions and watching movies, eating and smoking weed. They were buzzed and chatty (Ian more than Mickey, obviously) but mostly they enjoyed spending time together.

 

“There’s something I wanted to talk to you about…” Mickey said, unsure.

“What is it?” Ian said, taking a long drag on the joint.

“I was thinking about moving back to Chicago…”

 

Ian inhaled too sharply in his surprise and started coughing, tears in his eyes because of the weird sensation in his throat.

 

“Hey, hey you okay?”

“Yeah, just gimme a sec.”

 

Mickey waited until Ian recovered and rubbed his hand awkwardly. Ian was now looking at him, eyes full of hope and a small smile on his lips; he made a gesture with his hand to encourage Mickey to go on. Mickey cleared his throat loudly and cracked his knuckles, obviously embarrassed.

 

“I just figured that… since Mandy is single now, she’s not gonna be able to afford rent by herself and… you know… I thought about asking her to move in together.” Mickey wanted to act casual when really, he was a mess.

 

Ian smiled wider at him and put a quick kiss on his cheek.

 

“I think that’s a great idea.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Definitely.”

 

Mickey felt a knot in his stomach, the kind he only felt when Ian was only inches from him; he couldn’t stop staring at Ian’s lips and felt the hunger grow as the Gallagher boy slipped his arm around his shoulders, gently running his hands over his skin through the fabric of his shirt. He finally broke the tension and kissed Mickey hard and sloppy as if to say “I can’t stand not to touch you.”

Ian had been thinking about Mickey going back all week, even made up strategies of all kinds to convince Mickey to move back to Chicago; but every one of them seemed unfair to Mickey who had a life in Woodstock and probably would not be keen on giving it up.

 

Mickey finally detached his lips from Ian’s and stood up, taking Ian’s hand and leading him to his bedroom. He took off his shirt and stared at Ian appreciatively, eyes filled with lust and desire. Ian knew Mickey was not the patient kind, but this time he wanted to enjoy the moment, taking it slow; last time he tried something different, it surprised the older man but eventually he loved it as much as Ian. Since Gallaghers never take no as an answer, he was ready to convince Mickey that they could do another way; he just needed to be persuasive.

 

He got closer to Mickey, and ran a finger over his right collarbone, barely touching him; he let his hand wander on his chest and lightly traced small circles on his skin. Mickey was frowning, he wasn’t used to such gentleness, but he couldn’t deny it; it sent shiver through his spine to have Ian touch him like this. Ian carried on his ministrations, and was now touching Mickey’s belly and sides softly, loving the sounds he was dragging out of his lover. He finally took off his own shirt, much to Mickey’s approval, and pressed their chests together, never letting go of the other boy’s gaze. Mickey couldn’t stand it anymore and kissed Ian hard, pulling him by his neck forcefully and eagerly to get even closer if that was possible; he could feel Ian’s smile for a second until the other boy opened his mouth and let him in. There was nothing on earth he could compare to the sensations it gave him to kiss Ian; it made him feel weak and invincible at the same time… it was exhilarating.

 

Ian unbuttoned his pants before pushing them down as far as he could without breaking away from the kiss before doing the same for Mickey; the Milkovich boy almost tripped as he was trying to reach for his bed, moving with his jeans on his calves was not easy, so he let escape an exasperated groan. Ian laughed at him, and Mickey thought it was the greatest sound of all. He hopped on his bed, fully naked now and Ian followed obediently; he covered Mickey’s body with his and started kissing him everywhere except for his mouth and surprisingly, Mickey let him; Ian ran his tongue on his neck, pressed wet kisses on his chest and went down slowly until he was between Mickey’s legs. He took Mickey in his mouth and started sucking at the tip while he was squeezing his thighs, wanting to take good care of him.

 

Mickey was writhing under Ian’s touch and his fists were clenched on the sheets beneath him; after a moment, he grasped Ian’s shoulder to make him stop and so he did, a huge smile on his face.

When Ian crawled up to kiss Mickey again, it was obvious that he was as turned on as the other man, who felt his hard on against his. He pushed Ian down onto the bed and moved to sit on top of his hips. He rubbed himself against Ian, who was looking at him intensely, his pupils so dilated it was hard to distinguish which color his eyes were.

 

Mickey was purposely stroking Ian slowly, enjoying Ian’s distorted face from pleasure when Ian was massaging Mickey’s cheeks; he needed to prep Mickey so he inserted one finger at first, his eyes never leaving Mickey’s face. When he knew Mickey was grimacing in pleasure and not in pain, he inserted another and stretched him tantalizingly, which made Mickey moan in a very sexy way that drove Ian crazy. Mickey was losing patience, he couldn’t stand the wait anymore, so he squeezed Ian’s wrist to force him to stop and let himself sink in. A groan escaped from them both, loving the sensation they craved for since Ian’s last visit.

 

Mickey took Ian’s hands in his and intertwined their fingers so they were connected from head to toe. He started moving slowly at first, but it wasn’t enough; he rolled his hips as fast as he could while he practically crushed Ian’s fingers. He quickly ran out of breath but he couldn’t stop, the feeling of being filled by Ian was too good to stop now. Ian could feel he was close, but something was missing; as much as he loved being ridden by Mickey, he was being forced onto the bed and he wanted to kiss Mickey badly. He pulled out of Mickey’s hold and sat up to hold onto him; he clasped him in his arms and placed his face in Mickey’s neck, breathing him, now able to bring up his hips so he could match Mickey thrust for thrust. Mickey was biting Ian’s shoulder and pressing his hands against his bare back, unwilling to let go until he would reach his orgasm; maybe not even then he would, when he thought about it.

 

“Ian…” Mickey whispered; he could feel the grip in his stomach tighten, he was about to come.

 

Ian fastened the pace of his thrusts and clasped even tighter onto Mickey until they both let escape a loud moan of pleasure as they simultaneously reached their climax. They stayed like that for a while, Ian’s face buried in Mickey’s neck and Mickey gently running his hand through the red strands of his hair; he finally let go of Ian’s body and lay down next to him, his breathing still harsh, covered in sweat but seeing stars. He took the sheets to cover their naked bodies and Ian scooted closer to lay his head on Mickey’s chest, one hand on his waist.

 

“I could get used to this you know.” Mickey said almost inaudibly.

 

Ian chuckled and tightened his grip on Mickey.

 

“Yeah, I figured.”

 

There was a small pause, a comfortable silence in which only their breathing and the traffic outside could be heard when Mickey said:

 

“I’m glad you came to me.”

“Me too, Mick.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like it, thanks for the comments and kudos, you make me very very very happy :)


	17. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, this is the last chapter my friends!

_Five months later_

 

Ian was lying in bed, eyes wide open and looking at the ceiling in boredom; he couldn’t sleep since Mickey was invading his personal space, wrapped around him like a lazy koala on a branch. Ian didn’t complain though, he loved when Mickey was feeling cuddly, but right now he was snoring in Ian’s ears, and Ian didn’t have the heart to wake him up when he seemed so peaceful. Like it wasn’t enough, Mickey had wrapped the comforter around himself and Ian was barely protected from the cold air in Mickey and Mandy’s apartment. His legs were kept warm thanks to Mickey’s body pressed against his, but he didn’t put on a shirt and he had goose bumps spreading on his forearms and his chest. He decided to ignore it though and chose to distract himself, using his right hand (the only member that wasn’t crushed by Mickey) to caress his lover’s forehead gently, passing his long fingers across the strands of black hair. Since Mickey was determined to keep him awake (definitely not in a good way), Ian let his mind drift away and rewind the last 5 months he had spent with his Milkovich by his side.

…

 

After that night in Woodstock, everything had changed very fast; Mickey gave his two-weeks notice at the restaurant, and started looking for jobs online while Mandy was looking for an apartment. It didn’t take long to convince her to move with Mickey; of course it was a good compromise financially speaking, but the thing that mattered the most to her was that she had her brother back. Added to the fact that she had never lived by herself and that she was still upset by the break up, Mickey coming back to Chicago was a blessing.

 

Eventually, she found something decent and Mickey came back to his hometown, feeling a little weird about it, but the feeling tended to disappear very quickly once he pictured his new life with Mandy, and above all, with Ian. Everything seemed possible with Ian by his side, and Mickey decided that now was a good time to get the job he really wanted to do: he was going to be a tattoo artist. He remembered what Ian had said that night on the beach in the Hamptons when Mickey talked about it: “ _you’d do something that you like. Believe me, that’s priceless_ ” he said but Mickey realized just now how much he was right. He was ready to accept any kind of job for now, anything that would allow him to put some money in the training classes, but he also needed to live during the apprenticeship when he wasn’t going to get paid. He could see the pieces of the puzzles fall right in front of his eyes, getting in order by themselves, and Mickey was pretty sure they were all tainted with red.

 

Ian had been stable on his meds for months now, and he started working at the Fairy Tale as a bartender, even though his manager wanted him to take back his old job as a dancer. Ian categorically refused, because he knew too well what it involved: a lot of booze and drugs, pervs everywhere, eyeing him like he was some deluxe treat. At least behind the bar no one could reach for him, or his ass. Besides, he hadn’t particularly wanted to upset Mickey, who happened to turn into a psychopath ready to chop the handoff anyone getting too close for his taste.

 

 Among a lot of things, jealousy was a trait of his personality that Ian had the pleasure of discovering these past few months. Mickey was definitely not a fan of showing any kind of affection in public, but he was very possessive and couldn’t stand when people got too close to Ian. Mandy was tolerated for obvious reasons, but otherwise there was no negotiation about that. One night, Mickey came to the club after work (he was working in a restaurant downtown as a bus boy) to pick up Ian when he saw one of the dancers in his gold shorts talking to his Gallagher from across the bar. Ian seemed to like the guy, he kept smiling like a fucking loon and Mickey felt his entire body tense. Thanks to higher forces, it was the moment Ian spotted him across the crowded place (as if he sensed the waves of anger towards where he was standing) and went straight to him, kissing him fiercely for a while. Mickey decided not to break the stranger’s knuckles, but it was only because of Ian’s intervention: he was feeling way too off balance to kick someone’s ass.

                                                                                                                              

 Mandy was doing great too, surprisingly good since she lost her boyfriend, her apartment and her job in the same week. Moving with her brother had been an easy thing to do, even though they were fighting and screaming at each other almost constantly, but Ian was often around and Mickey’s mood was considerably better when the redhead was there. He helped them when they were moving in, even brought Kev with him (which was hilarious, because Mickey looked like a child standing next to Kev’s gigantic body) and they managed to wrap it up in one afternoon.

 

Mandy found a job in a clothing company and started in the marketing department; it wasn’t the most interesting job but she liked it anyway, the feeling of stability was comforting. Sometimes, she hung out with Lip but nothing happened, except maybe an accidental touch here and there. She kind of swore to herself to get her things right before jumping into anything romantic again, she needed to feel strong and independent before falling in anyone’s grasp this time. It was hard sometimes, because late at night when Lip walked her home after a night of binge drinking, she desperately wanted to kiss him, but she refrained herself, which drove him crazier each day passing. He decided to respect the distance she intentionally put between them, since he couldn’t make mistakes with her again, not like when he treated her “like a tool”. She knew that they’d eventually find their way back, maybe the next day, maybe in a month, who knew? But for now, they just enjoyed being able to spend time together.

…

 

Ian was startled out of his thoughts by a warm hand pressed against his stomach; Mickey was finally awake and he was looking at Ian with sleepy, glassy eyes.

 

“Why you awake, man?” Mickey asked groggily.

“Hard to sleep when you snore like a freight train.” Ian replied with a smile.

“Fuck you, I don’t.”

“Oh yeah, you do.”

 

Mickey finally realized he was holding Ian captive so he moved a little and lay down on his back, his hands put behind his neck. He turned to look at Ian and could feel his features soften when he laid eyes on him. Ian loved these moments, in the privacy of Mickey’s room when the older boy stopped caring about appearances. He had this look in his eyes, the one that had Ian knowing what his Milkovich felt for him without words.

 

“Come here.” Mickey finally said, and gently grabbed Ian’s forearm to pull him closer. Ian let his head fall on Mickey’s chest and sighed contently, wondering how it was possible to be so lucky.

…

 

The next day, Mickey woke up in the worst mood possible. Ian had no idea why and wanted to ask but Mandy dissuaded him, fully aware that when Mickey was in this mood, better hide and wait. Ian and Mandy were sitting at the kitchen table, sipping on their mugs of coffee silently when Mickey stormed out of his bedroom fully clothed and ready to go to work. He took Ian’s mug from his hands and gulped what was left before turning back to look at Ian.

 

“How about we go to dinner tonight?” He said aggressively.

“Huh, yeah okay.” Ian replied, but his expression couldn’t possibly match his answer: he was totally startled by Mickey’s behavior.

“Cool, I’ll call you during my lunch break.”

 

He pressed a small peck on Ian’s hair, flipped the bird at Mandy and stormed out with a slamming of the door. Ian looked at Mandy dumbfounded and she only shrugged as an answer. Ian rolled his eyes and stood up to get in the shower, leaving Mandy in the kitchen. Too bad he didn’t notice Mandy’s mischievous grin when he left because he could have asked what was going on, since she knew exactly why her brother was losing it.

…

 

The diner went great despite Ian’s apprehension, but Mickey was still fidgety as fuck. He wasn’t as angry as he seemed to be in the morning, no it was something else… he was uncomfortable. Ian didn’t even try to ask, he didn’t want to make his man more agitated, but he was determined to find out once they’d get into Mickey apartment, a safe place where Mickey could let go. When they arrived, they took off their coats and Ian grabbed two beers in the fridge, handed one to Mickey and stared at him for a minute. Mickey’s eyes were everywhere until Ian stepped forward and hugged him without a word. Mickey relaxed instantly and so Ian kept on the position for a while, one of his hands under Mickey’s clothes to softly press his fingers on his back.

 

“You’re gonna tell me what’s going on?” he finally whispered in Mickey’s ear.

 

Mickey cleared his throat, let go of Ian’s body and leaned against the kitchen table while he fumbled with the edge of his shirt. Ian was staring, arms crossed against his chest and his eyebrows furrowed.

 

“It’s stupid.” Mickey finally said, looking at his hands.

“Come on, I’m sure it’s not.”

 

Mickey cracked his knuckles and finally looked at Ian with a weird expression.

 

“I took you to the restaurant because you and I met six months ago.”

 

Ian let his arms fall to his side and his jaw dropped. How could he have not remembered? And how come Mickey did?

 

“I’m sorry, Mick, I totally forgot, I… wait, that’s why you’re acting all weird and shit?”

 

Mickey was blushing right now, even more than Ian ever saw him.

 

“No… It’s weird because I got a gift for you.” He said it almost inaudibly but of course Ian caught that.

 

“Mick, I’m so sorry, I don’t have anything for you, I… I’m a terrible person.”

 

Mickey didn’t say anything but glanced at him with a soft expression that said it all. Not for a second Mickey would ever believe that Ian was a bad person. To Mickey, Ian was just perfect. After a moment of silence where Ian took Mickey’s hand in his, he flashed a bright smile at Mickey and grinned at him.

 

“What is it?” he said “I mean my gift? What is it?”

 

Mickey used his free hand to rummage thought his back pocket and handed him a crumpled envelope with no particular sign on it. Ian tore it up quickly and didn’t realize when a key fell on the floor, next to his shoe. Mickey arched his eyebrows, and went down to grab the little piece of metal to place it in Ian’s palm. Ian looked at it for a while because he knew that key; it took him a few more seconds to understand where he saw it.

 

“That’s the key to your apartment.” He said flatly.

“Yep.”

 

Ian looked at the other man quizzically, miles away from what it represented. Mickey sighed and rubbed his neck before he spoke again.

 

“I want you to move in.”

 

Ian’s jaw dropped again, only for the second time in one night and Mickey was back to the fumbling with his shirt, not looking at Ian. Ian didn’t know what to say, but he knew exactly how he felt so he went in: he pressed his lips on Mickey’s and closed the small gap between their bodies so they were touching completely, drowning in each other’s scent. Mickey kissed Ian back with enthusiasm, squeezing his waist with one hand and holding onto the back of his neck with the other. When Ian finally detached his lips, he looked down at him and gave him a wide smile, matched with an intense, sparkly gaze.

 

“What about Mandy?” He finally said.

 

“She said she’d stay for a while, but eventually she is gonna move out. Apparently she’s tired of hearing us fucking.” Mickey replied with a devilish grin.

 

“Too bad for her.” Ian said with a smirk. “Hope she ain’t asleep because I plan on making a lot of noise with my roommate tonight.”

 

“You’re such a dork, god!”

 

“You love it!”

 

“Actually, yeah, I do.”

 

There was something soft in Mickey’s expression, the way his eyes were looking at Ian that was hard to explain. Maybe he didn’t say the words exactly, maybe he wasn’t ready, but Ian knew what this gift meant, what this “I do” meant. So Ian took Mickey’s hand and led him to the bedroom, determined to show him just how much he loved him too _._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo, a billion thanks to Pens, for the wonderful beta work she did on these chapters. 
> 
> Thanks to all of you, who left comments and kudos, It made me really really happy :) I hope you loved that story as much as I loved writing it ! 
> 
> <3 <3 Happy Holidays guys :)

**Author's Note:**

> Come and Say hello : goddamit-mir.tumblr.com


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